[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Congregation visit to Freehold postponed due to crime wave

That is a good idea. The annual 9-11 celebration would be a great time for the Mayor to have a BBQ.

Yes, my congregation will already be getting together to watch the live video feed of Dove World Outreach's Koran BBQ. We'll just set up two screens, so they can watch the slaughter on one screen and the fire on the other.

Saturday will be a glorious day. The kids will eat this up, seeing Korans burn AND learning where those steaks come from.

I suggest he shoot the cow in the head. A fast, clean kill, and then your meat isn't all full of adrenaline. Makes it tough.

Then hoist it by the hind legs with a bucket loader or some such, so Mayor Hold can slit its throat to bleed it out before he skins it.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Congregation visit to Freehold postponed due to crime wave

What a wonderful idea! He could slaughter it himself on video, or even better on a live camera feed that my whole congregation can watch as it happens!

That is a good idea. The annual 9-11 celebration would be a great time for the Mayor to have a BBQ.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Congregation visit to Freehold postponed due to crime wave

@Rev. M. Rodimer I am sure Johny Joe Hold loves Jesus and I have seen him eat beef at my grandfathers several times!

I'm glad to hear that Mayor Hold has been seen gnawing on your grandfather's beef, Felicity. But are you sure he wasn't getting some pork instead?

Mayor JJ.
There is a quick, tried and true way to put these rumors to bed once and for all, ''kill a cow for Christ''. Any reason is a good reason to put a medium sized bovine on a spit and have a BBQ.

What a wonderful idea! He could slaughter it himself on video, or even better on a live camera feed that my whole congregation can watch as it happens!

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: Congregation visit to Freehold postponed due to crime wave

Mayor JJ.
There is a quick, tried and true way to put these rumors to bed once and for all, ''kill a cow for Christ''. Any reason is a good reason to put a medium sized bovine on a spit and have a BBQ.

[Felicity]

Re: Congregation visit to Freehold postponed due to crime wave

@Rev. M. Rodimer I am sure Johny Joe Hold loves Jesus and I have seen him eat beef at my grandfathers several times!

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Congregation visit to Freehold postponed due to crime wave

Um, yes, that would be . . . er . . . of course, right!

Exactly Revered. This is just being like that husband who threatened to bet up Revered Osborn because she told him that Osborn "sucked Satan right out of her". Figure of speech, nothing more.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Congregation visit to Freehold postponed due to crime wave

Mrs. Davies would like to thank you for your interesting linguistics lesson. She was under the impression that "nombre" is Spanish for "name", as is her housekeeper Juanita.

Actually, either "nombre" or "namaste" can be used for our word "name".

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Congregation visit to Freehold postponed due to crime wave

Funny you should ask. One of my hobbies is linguistics.

The word namaste has the same root as the English word "Name". But, namaste is Spanish--the Spanish word for name.

One would say, "?Oue esta su namaste?"

Please pass along my warmest greetings to Mrs. Davies.

Mrs. Davies would like to thank you for your interesting linguistics lesson. She was under the impression that "nombre" is Spanish for "name", as is her housekeeper Juanita.

Of course, Mrs. Davies points out that Juanita is surely not as well educated as a "Sudra aspiring to be Kshatriya" like yourself! (I don't know what that means, I hope it's complimentary. My Spanish is generally limited to "nachos grande" or "burrito, por favor". I'm sure it means "aspiring to serve Jesus in Heaven".)

Rev,

Pastor Zeke himself has certified Mayor Hold is 100% NOT Hindu. This is just base speculation like those stories of people sexually abusing bears in their basements or keeping kidnapped girls up in their attics. People are just taking things like the phrase "I will go down on him" out of context and thinking it is something dirty.

Um, yes, that would be . . . er . . . of course, right!

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Congregation visit to Freehold postponed due to crime wave

The dot is removable, Brother Tannor. They take it off when they want to pretend they are normal Christian folk.

The lack of a dot is even more evidence that he's a Closet Hindu! Maybe Mrs. Davies was right!

Rev,

Pastor Zeke himself has certified Mayor Hold is 100% NOT Hindu. This is just base speculation like those stories of people sexually abusing bears in their basements or keeping kidnapped girls up in their attics. People are just taking things like the phrase "I will go down on him" out of context and thinking it is something dirty.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Congregation visit to Freehold postponed due to crime wave

Mayor Hold, Mrs. Davies asked me to tell you she says "Namaste". Does that mean anything to you?

Funny you should ask. One of my hobbies is linguistics.

The word namaste has the same root as the English word "Name". But, namaste is Spanish--the Spanish word for name.

One would say, "?Oue esta su namaste?"

Please pass along my warmest greetings to Mrs. Davies.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Congregation visit to Freehold postponed due to crime wave

Not to mention that all the hotels in Freehold have a no refund policy for cancelled reservations.

Fortunately for our congregation, we are within the cancellation window for the 120 hotel rooms and the 75 rental cars.

The Freehold Plaza Suites and the Landoverlook both allow cancellations with at least 30 days' notice.

Mayor Hold, I will see what I can do about getting them to change their minds, but it doesn't look good. Oh, and Mrs. Davies asked me to tell you she says "Namaste". Does that mean anything to you?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Congregation visit to Freehold postponed due to crime wave

Rev. Rodimer--We are indeed disappointed that your congregation will not be coming with you to visit Freehold.

On the slim chance that the congregation might change its mind, I hope you will point out to them that Freehold's main law enforcement focus has been on keeping Satan at bay. It may be that this has allowed some of the less harmful traditional troublemakers to visit Freehold, but they, too, will be sent packing as soon as Officier Richards is elected Sheriff.

It is my hope that you will explain their safety from Satan while in Freehold and encourage the congregation to reconsider.

Not to mention that all the hotels in Freehold have a no refund policy for cancelled reservations.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Congregation visit to Freehold postponed due to crime wave

Brothers and Sisters:

It is with a heavy heart that I inform you that my Board of Directors has decided to indefinitely postpone the congregation's November visit to Freehold.

Rev. Rodimer--We are indeed disappointed that your congregation will not be coming with you to visit Freehold.

On the slim chance that the congregation might change its mind, I hope you will point out to them that Freehold's main law enforcement focus has been on keeping Satan at bay. It may be that this has allowed some of the less harmful traditional troublemakers to visit Freehold, but they, too, will be sent packing as soon as Officier Richards is elected Sheriff.

It is my hope that you will explain their safety from Satan while in Freehold and encourage the congregation to reconsider.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Congregation visit to Freehold postponed due to crime wave

Rev. Rodimer, after reading your post, I rushed down to city hall and barged into the Mayor's office to find out for myself if, indeed, hizzoner is what you fear.

I jumped up on his desk, leaned over, and carefully examined his forehead. I can safely assure you there is absolutely no evidence of a dot.

Here, get out your magnifying glass and verify for yourself.

The dot is removable, Brother Tannor. They take it off when they want to pretend they are normal Christian folk.

The lack of a dot is even more evidence that he's a Closet Hindu! Maybe Mrs. Davies was right!

[HTannor]

Re: Congregation visit to Freehold postponed due to crime wave

Even if all the recent violent crime in Freehold can be traced to one man and he can be stopped, there's still the question of whether or not Mayor Hold is, in fact, a closet Hindu.

Rev. Rodimer, after reading your post, I rushed down to city hall and barged into the Mayor's office to find out for myself if, indeed, hizzoner is what you fear.

I jumped up on his desk, leaned over, and carefully examined his forehead. I can safely assure you there is absolutely no evidence of a dot.

Here, get out your magnifying glass and verify for yourself.