Cars Americans Should Own

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: Cars Americans Should Own

Why would I want to drive one of those sissy homer 4 cylinder things.

I know you ride the short bus, Sister, but women are not to drive anything more powerful than a bicycle.

Are you suggesting that a woman should be in control of a vehicle upwards of a ton, or even two, at lethal speeds?

LOL!!

I thought I had heard it all.

But Bless you in Christ anyway!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Cars Americans Should Own

Why would I want to drive one of those sissy homer 4 cylinder things.

Why would any Christian girl even want to drive?

[Lisa H]

Re: Cars Americans Should Own

Why would a Christian girl need such a machine? Only a rabid bulldyke would drive a car like that.

Why would I want to drive one of those sissy homer 4 cylinder things.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Cars Americans Should Own

No. It is my car. It is a 1975 Torana. It has a V8 engine and a 5 speed manual gear box. They originally came out with a 4 speed gear box but mine has been modified.

Why would a Christian girl need such a machine? Only a rabid bulldyke would drive a car like that.

[Lisa H]

Re: Cars Americans Should Own

That's not your car. That's your father's car, or your boyfriend's.

No. It is my car. It is a 1975 Torana. It has a V8 engine and a 5 speed manual gear box. They originally came out with a 4 speed gear box but mine has been modified.

[Bob4God]

Re: Cars Americans Should Own

Don't you like my car.

Women should not be driving. The world knew this once, but has slowly forgotten it over time.

Even the now GODless Brits knew it once, but nowadays their messages to the women of the world have become a laughingstock on modern-day Atheist TV shows:

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Cars Americans Should Own

Don't you like my car.

That's not your car. That's your father's car, or your boyfriend's.

[Lisa H]

Re: Cars Americans Should Own

You know, those words never come out of a True Christian woman's mouth.

Don't you like my car.

[Bob4God]

Re: Cars Americans Should Own

This is my car

You know, those words never come out of a True Christian woman's mouth.

[Lisa H]

Re: Cars Americans Should Own

This is my car

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Cars Americans Should Own

The Jenkins Family Car

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: Cars Americans Should Own

I don't mess with any of these new fangled cars built past 1970. My blown Hemi Barracuda may only get 3 miles to the gallon, but I get where I'm going so quickly it's the same as having a 40 mpg go-cart built by the slants.

Praise Jesus for the Detroit of the Sixties!

[Nobar King]

Re: Cars Americans Should Own

Or, you could try a classic: Buick Riviera

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[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Cars Americans Should Own

[...]These are the absolute best cars you can buy right now. I encourage you to buy two or three, and drive everywhere. Walking is for communists!

I heartily endorse those sentiments. Having traveled the world (and crossed into Canada once by mistake) I can tell you that the country with the best infrastructure is the country with the best economy.

No point having roads if you're not going to use them and when you have the best roads, why, it's natural to want to drive the best on them.

No point having a car that you have to squash into to an extent where the blood to your extremities stops, and who knows when you might be called upon to transport 3 chemical toilets, a dead moose or tow a woodchipper up a mountain?

Space - that's what people want - God gave space to America, God gave America large houses, large cars, large everything.

These snivelling, piss-ant foreign, so-called automobiles, 10 foot long, powerless and with their 65 mpg might be OK for 600 Million Eurofags stuck on a continent the size of Rhode Island but that is taking things to extremes - which is perhaps un-American. America demands the grunting power that only a 437 Cubic Inch piece of Detroit iron can spit out and realises that 25mpg is about as far as you can go without being seen as a homer.

If technology like that was good enough for my grandfather, it's good enough for me!

[Bob4God]

I want to break America's dependency on foreign oil, so I have created a list of Patriot wagons that have very large fuel tanks capable of storing more gasoline at once, thereby reducing the number of times you have to fuel your vehicle in a week.

My 2008 Chevy Suburban is getting old and you can bet your bottom dollar the next car I purchase will be one off this list:

Cadillac Escalade: $60,685 - $84,098

I like this one, it's got plenty of room for storing rifles in the back, and with tires like those, you can drive over the roughest of potholes and still not spill your 64 ounce cola.

It can get up to 16 miles per gallon, which I think is very reasonable, especially in our struggling Obamaconomy.



Ford F150: $22,127 - $33,685

I like the roomy backseat in this one. Plus it will help win the culture war because it was made by Ford and they didn't take any bailout money.

The F150 is a lean, mean driving machine that delivers somewhere between 18 to 21 miles to the GODly gallon.


Dodge Ram: $28,388 - $41,525

Dodge sure does know how to build a manly truck. The BFT features an extra-wide body and is perfect for navigating tricky city streets and suburban neighborhoods, and it helps prevent accidents because it discourages people from passing you.

The Dodge Ram is an American dream, whether you're puttering around town getting 14 miles to the gallon, or cruising the open highway at 20 miles per gallon.

My only concern is that it might not fit in my garage.





Mercury Mountaineer: $28,983 - $36,425

Sport Utility Vehicles are a GODly invention and every American should own one or two of them. I am seriously looking at this one as my next purchase.

Like all SUVs, this little go kart won't disappoint the American family with its fuel economy. It gets between 14 to 25 miles per gallon.



Chrysler Town and Country: $25,175 - $35,060

This baby can haul a lot of people to church at once. I had the pleasure of driving one in Kansas, and it is aptly named. They can be kind of hard to navigate around the tight corners of a fast food drive-through, but entirely worth the extra space for the daily needs of an average American family.

The gas mileage runs about 17 MPG in town and 24 on the highway.




These are the absolute best cars you can buy right now. I encourage you to buy two or three, and drive everywhere. Walking is for communists!