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  • On Demon Buggery

    Dear Friends,

    I don't know how many times I have heard a True Christian™ rebuke a sinner by accurately reciting the torments of Hell, especially perpetual sodomy by Satan himself, only to have the sinner retort, stupidly, "sounds like fun to me"! A few points I'd like to call the attention of those blithe and hell-bound:

    1. Satan has a razor-sharp penis. Penis is Latin for sword, and in this case, that's exactly what your tender buttocks are up against -- a cutting machine that slices, dices, chops, minces, and grates. Touch it and the fingers you used would fall severed to the ground (only to be reattached by Hell's HMO, currently Blue Cross/Blue Shield).

    2. His dark apparatus is between one foot (unaroused) to five feet long (on watching Saved by the Bell). Unless your idea of a good time involves your "topman"'s willy bursting through your rib cage, well, Toto, you're not in San Francisco anymore.

    3. No foreplay. No candles. No pathchouli oil or sensual massage. Satan, like bull-dykes and bankers, is all business, all the time.

    4. Satan forces your grandmothers to watch, and forces you to see them naked. If you were straight, Satan makes your ex-girlfriends and wives watch. They generally chant, "who's the b-itch now" and howl with laughter as you get butt-plugged by his apelike member.

    5. Cerebrus, the three-headed dog of Hell, gets all of Satan's "sloppy seconds." Think getting raped by a 500-lb dog sounds like fun? Ask Tom Hanks or Charles Grodin.

    6. Satan won't stop until you tell him that you've learned a lesson, and explain what that lesson is. This becomes harder with each session, until you completely run out of applicable Afterschool Special taglines.

    7. On those rare occasions that Satan wants you to be on top: he's 6,000 years old and has back hair like a Belushi.

    Yours in Him,
    bab

  • #2
    Re: On Demon Buggery

    Originally posted by Born Again Bob View Post

    2. His dark apparatus is between one foot (unaroused) to five feet long (on watching Saved by the Bell). Unless your idea of a good time involves your "topman"'s willy bursting through your rib cage, well, Toto, you're not in San Francisco anymore.

    Yours in Him,
    bab
    no lube, thats gotta hurt... not that i would know anything except for small missionary penises from when i was a mormon child.

    now, I have not been seeing much about the landover thoughts about the apocolypse, which i always love thinking about. do you have any thoughts about when it will happen?

    i love the mayan calender 2012 end of the world.

    Ephesians 6:9
    9And, ye masters, do the same things unto them, forbearing threatening: knowing that your Master also is in heaven; neither is there respect of persons with him.

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    • #3
      Re: On Demon Buggery

      Are you kidding? I'm sure all the homers now can't wait to get Satan's sword in them. I'm sure they will like that sort of thing. I mean, look what they do with light bulbs and gerbils.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: On Demon Buggery

        Originally posted by lord warrior View Post
        Are you kidding? I'm sure all the homers now can't wait to get Satan's sword in them.
        Dear Friend,

        If after my description of Hell, you still think I made it sound inviting, it may be that your True Christian(tm) status is in need of further review.

        Yours in Him,
        bab

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        • #5
          Re: On Demon Buggery

          The KJV proscribes homosexualtiy but not buggery between a man and woman. I want to remain a virgin until I marry so I only allow men to enter my back door.
          Come climb my mountains.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: On Demon Buggery

            Originally posted by Roberta View Post
            The KJV proscribes homosexualtiy but not buggery between a man and woman. I want to remain a virgin until I marry so I only allow men to enter my back door.
            The Bible tells us that if you've ever "known" a man, then you're not a virgin..
            So you're still a fornicating whore.
            If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
            A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
            Proverbs 9:12-13

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            • #7
              Re: On Demon Buggery

              I "know" my father and my grandfahter but they have never sodomized me. What are you implying?
              Come climb my mountains.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: On Demon Buggery

                Originally posted by Roberta View Post
                I "know" my father and my grandfahter but they have never sodomized me. What are you implying?
                I'm not "implying" anything, for as a True Christian I speak plainly, and not in stupid riddles like some boodhist monk.
                And what I'm saying is that since you have sex, you're not a virgin but a fornicating whore.
                If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
                A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
                Proverbs 9:12-13

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: On Demon Buggery

                  Originally posted by SalvationSeeker View Post
                  I'm not "implying" anything, for as a True Christian I speak plainly, and not in stupid riddles like some boodhist monk.
                  And what I'm saying is that since you have sex, you're not a virgin but a fornicating whore.
                  AMEN!!


                  Preach it Brother!!


                  Rebuke that harlot with the Holy Ghost!!
                  Who Will Jesus Damn?

                  Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                  Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                  Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: On Demon Buggery

                    Oh my, BaB, however did you find out these horrible things? How horrible the fate of those who done chose to go to hell...
                    sigpic

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: On Demon Buggery

                      Originally posted by Born Again Bob View Post
                      Dear Friend,

                      If after my description of Hell, you still think I made it sound inviting, it may be that your True Christian™ status is in need of further review.

                      Yours in Him,
                      bab
                      I have had dealings with these abominable creatures. And was forced by a job I once had to listen to there sinful sex lives. I think they would truly "get off' on Satan's sword. And I cannot condone someone questioning my TRUE CHRISTIAN status.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: On Demon Buggery

                        I have to be honest in these forums. My french piano teacher buggered me when I was eight and I have been a backdoor girl ever since. I am saving my hymen for the Christian man I marrry!
                        Come climb my mountains.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: On Demon Buggery

                          Originally posted by Roberta View Post
                          I have to be honest in these forums. My french piano teacher buggered me when I was eight and I have been a backdoor girl ever since. I am saving my hymen for the Christian man I marrry!
                          Well, like I've always said, the french are a hellbound tribe of garlic-stinking pedophiles, and they hate our Freedom just like the mudslime menace. I'll bet your piano teacher was a mary worshiper to boot.

                          That having been said, I would advise you to not follow suit with the perversion forced upon you by that eurotrash demon rapist. Just because he committed child buggery on you, that's no reason to dedicate your life to wallowing in filth. Knowing you the way we do on this forum, I wonder if you didn't throw yourself at him like the slut you are.

                          Accept Jesus and your sins will be washed clean by His blood. That's the best help anyone can offer.
                          Who Will Jesus Damn?

                          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: On Demon Buggery

                            Originally posted by Roberta View Post
                            I "know" my father and my grandfahter but they have never sodomized me. What are you implying?
                            Just because your father and grandfather only "know" you in the front doesn't make it any less sickening!
                            O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                            God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

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