Special Christmas Message

[Brother Love]

Brothers and Sisters my wife Ethel be with me here as I is goin to tell ya whats the HOLY SPIRIT is layin on my heat rit now. Now her words is goin to be in these things [Ethel's words] so ya knows who be doin the talkin.

**************

CHRISTmas is suppose to be a happy and joyful time of year for people. [yes it is Sweet Jesus] But for SOME people it not be a very happy time of year. [No it ain't Lord!] Now that be cuz some people ain't gots no money. [That be rit, Sweet Lord] And cuz some people jist plain ain't gots no body who cares bouts them. [Yes Lord]. Now for SOME folks no matter whats they jist ain't HAPPY this time of year! [No they ain't SWEET Lord!]

Now ifin you is a REAL and TRUE CHRISTIAN then you has already gots the BEST present there is! [Yes LORD! GLORY!] Cuz you gots JESUS CHRIST! [Yes you does! GLORY HALALULU!] BUT ifin ya ain't a REAL and TRUE CHRISTIAN then it cuz you ain't got nothing cept the DEVIL!! [You EVIL OLD devil! You mean nastyyyy DEVIL!!].

Now some of ya'll ain't getting no presents for CHRISTmas this year. [ain't nothin comin to ya!] And that be cuz ya is followin that OLD DEVIL! [YES you is YOU EVIL abominations!] Ifin you is a WIFE then it be cuz you AIN'T been doin what you HUSBAND been tellin ya to do! [it be the LORD'S punishment for our WAYWARDNESS women folk...so my HUSBAND says] Now takes ETHERL for instance! [TAKE ME LORD JESUS! TAKE ME!!] She ain't getting NOTHIN for CHRISTmas cuz she been a problem this past year! [yep I has cuz I be wantin my RITS LORD JESUS] Rits? Only rits you gots WOMAN is the ones I says you have!! [What ya means I ain't getting no Christmas presents this year Hiram? What ya means?]

That be what I says WOMAN! You ain't getting nothin cuz the money is LOW! [then how's come you already gots lots of presents?] Cuz I is the MAN HUSBAND of the HOUSE! You ain't nothin but the WOMAN! [Why is the the mother of our kids ain't I ?] OUR kids! OUR KIDS? Those ain't OUR kids! Those is MY KIDS cuz I is the MAN HUSBAND and you is jist the WOMAN! [I think those kids is the spawns of the devil, Sweet Jesus!!]

WOMAN is I goin to have to raps ya in the lips? You is gettin' MOUTHY NOW! [I is prayin for the RAPTURE to come!] Rapture? What the HELL does that have to do with anything I be talkin bouts here WOMAN? [RAPTURE ME SWEET LORDY JESUS!!] All rit woman I done warned ya............[now why'd ya hits me in the lips Hiram Love?] Cuz you is actin' like some DRUNKEN HARLOT with a BIG MOUTH WENCH!!

Well now that WOMAN gone and ran off into the kitchen! But that be ok cuz that be where she BELONGS anyways!! ALL women belongs in the kitchen especially at this time of year...COOKIN for the MEN FOLK!

Well now that VILE HARLOT wife of mine done made me go and forget what the HOLY SPIRIT t'was layin on me tonight! I jist goin to have to finish this holy message later on AFTER that WOMAN be a WAYWARD WIFE goes to bed. So Brothers and Sisters I be getting backs to ya later on to finish tellin ya what the LORD laid on my heart.

....ETHEL! ETHEL! Where you be you SHAMELESS WENCH? Get me some Jack D....I mean...get me DEACON DANIELS on the phone quick! Hurry up WOMAN and then gets in that potty and scrub that DIRTY toilet before that thing launches into space like a NASA rocket! I want that potty clean as a whistle before ya SKANKY WOMANLY BUTT goes to bed tonight. ETHEL! Does ya HEAR ME WIFE? Is ya DEAF? You BESS do what I says or you is goin to get another RAP in the mouth! WOMAN!!

.......Folks...I guess I is goin to have to go find that woman! I think she been readin to much of the SINNERS writens on this board and it maybe been given her some SINFUL ideas. I jist goin to have to go find her and SLAM THE HOLY SPIRIT into her again! That woman needs a good poundin with the LORD'S ROD!!

Well, for now, PRAISE THE LORD!!

AMEN

[TwinkBoy]

Re: Special Christmas Message

Ahhhhh.....Ahhhhh.....GASTLY!!

Brother Love how dare you "rap" your beloved WIFE in the mouth! I bet that made you feel "manly" and "righteous" didn't it? Ha! I can only use your own words and they are, "What an ABOMINATION!"

What kind of HORRID "man" are you anyway? No present for your OWN WIFE? I mean really, love, what kind of garbage is that?? I just thank the Divine that I don't have to live with you because I bet for your wife it's a LIVING SAL-A-VATION NIGHTMARE!! Now, love, mind you I KNOW you don't need the LORD because you say you already have him (rigghhtttt LMAO) BUT I DO think you need some PSYCHIATRIC HELP and some ANGER MANAGEMENT help!!

Soooo...how is "deacon" JACK DANIELS doing?? You condemn all of us BUT you are a DRUNK brother Love! A WHISKEY drinking WINO with a Bible in one hand and Jack Daniels in the other! HA! What a HYPOCRISY THAT is!!

Tell me, loves, is it true that Christians have the HIGHEST rate of DOMESTIC VIOLENCE out of ANY other group in the USA? Hmmmm???? And what about the "Christian" rate of ALCOHOLISM and PRESCRIPTION DRUG ABUSE AND USE? Hmmmm?? And, let us not forsake and forget, why so many
"Christians" are BORDERLINE PSYCHOTICS most of which are BADLY in need of PSYCHIATRIC HELP.

Oh well....WOE is ME BOYzzzz....yawn.....sigh...snicker, snicker

Love & Light All,
Twink

P.S. Love----
I bet if I talk with your wife she could fill me all in regarding your DEEPEST and DARKEST SECRETS...whata ya thinks LOVE??????????
LMAO

[Brother Love]

Re: Special Christmas Message

You EVIL DEMON!!

You is goin to be cryin' "Woe is Me" when you gets in Satan's HELL alrit!!

You is NUTS twinkie boy and you ALWAYS has been!!

REPENT SINNER!!!

[SUV]

Re: Special Christmas Message

He's a Thief, too, Brother Love! Why just look at him swiping my punctuation ("man") - which he forgot to capitalize, as well!

Lay it ON that Bad Sinner!!!!!

[lilith]

Re: Special Christmas Message

We can only hope the unfortunate Ethel is indeed in the kitchen.
Roasting you a lovely turkey....with a special little additive in your stuffing.

[Arethusa]

Re: Special Christmas Message

I have had too much to drink. Could someone simplify that post for my weak female mind? A True Christian men, preferably. Don't wanna piss off the big guy this close to his b-day.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Special Christmas Message

I have had too much to drink. Could someone simplify that post for my weak female mind? A True Christian men, preferably. Don't wanna piss off the big guy this close to his b-day.

God is good, accept Him and you shall have eternal life, unlike the spiteful Jews who killed him, and the barbarous Popish Polacks who would've jumped at the chance to, had they been around at the time. Vote Republican, reading books by Frenchmen causes sodomy. Merry CHRISTmas and a happy new year.

Simple enough for you?

[Arethusa]

Re: Special Christmas Message

Just so Brother Temperance, thank you kindly. I do have one question though: why are you so obsessed with the Polish? They are a great people. The other day I had some yummy chocolate covered Sesame snaps. Looking at the wrapper I saw that there were made in Poland! Some kind of Polish delicacy.

(French literature does not so mean I want to engage in Sodomy.That's not even in the Bible!)

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Special Christmas Message

Just so Brother Temperance, thank you kindly. I do have one question though: why are you so obsessed with the Polish? They are a great people. The other day I had some yummy chocolate covered Sesame snaps. Looking at the wrapper I saw that there were made in Poland! Some kind of Polish delicacy.

I believe the great Pastor Al once summarised Polish history as "Here comes Napoleon. The Poles all run away. Here comes Hitler. The Poles all run away. Here comes Stalin. The Poles all run away. Here comes a Polish Pope. The Catholics all run away and become Baptists." Essentially, Poland is similar to France, except with less fine cuisine and, if such a thing were possible, even more drunken sodomy. Even among the backwards and Godless nations of Eastern Europe, Poland is distinguished by its heathen barbarity. Did you know that in the first free elections after the fall of Communism, the Polish Beer-Lovers' Party won 16 seats? Don't believe me? Look it up. Thousands of years of worshipping false potato gods and the antichrist Pope have made these devilish Slavs utterly unfit for self-government. Last time anyone heard or cared anything about them, they were begging Iran to invade and annexe them. After careful consideration, the Iranians refused, on the grounds that a merger with Poland would drag their average level of civilisation back several centuries.

(French literature does not so mean I want to engage in Sodomy.That's not even in the Bible!)

Of course there is no mention of French literature in God's Word. Why, I am tempted to assign you some warning points for mentioning such depraved things in the same sentence as the Holy Bible, but I see you have had the good sense to put a full stop between "french literature" and "the Bible." And yes, I realise I have now mentioned both in the same sentence more than once now, and I shall pray to Jesus for forgiveness as soon as I finish this post.
Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, the depravity of French literature. Frankly, if you can read the works of villians like RIMbaud and not see the blatant exhortations to sodomy leaping from every page, I don't know whether I should envy your purity or pity your simple-mindedness. Either way, it is still the case that French books are a direct gateway to Frenchmen's minds, and the minds of the French are, in turn, a direct gateway to HELL! Beware!

[Arethusa]

Re: Special Christmas Message

Of course there is no mention of French literature in God's Word. Why, I am tempted to assign you some warning points for mentioning such depraved things in the same sentence as the Holy Bible, but I see you have had the good sense to put a full stop between "french literature" and "the Bible." And yes, I realise I have now mentioned both in the same sentence more than once now, and I shall pray to Jesus for forgiveness as soon as I finish this post.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, the depravity of French literature. Frankly, if you can read the works of villians like RIMbaud and not see the blatant exhortations to sodomy leaping from every page, I don't know whether I should envy your purity or pity your simple-mindedness. Either way, it is still the case that French books are a direct gateway to Frenchmen's minds, and the minds of the French are, in turn, a direct gateway to HELL! Beware!

Envy my purity Brother Temp! I wear my chastity as a white flowing shield against all French devilish demons that may lie between my pages of Proust. Have you read Alain Robbe-Grillet? I just found out about him and he sounds very intriguing. Why, Brother, he doesn't even write "conventional" novels, of which Jesus should heartily approve since I don't think that He likes novels really.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Special Christmas Message

Envy my purity Brother Temp! I wear my chastity as a white flowing shield against all French devilish demons that may lie between my pages of Proust. Have you read Alain Robbe-Grillet? I just found out about him and he sounds very intriguing. Why, Brother, he doesn't even write "conventional" novels, of which Jesus should heartily approve since I don't think that He likes novels really.

No, I hadn't heard of Robbe-Grillet, but he sounds like a demon-possessed banana-munching psychopath of the first water. No wonder we're losing the War on Terror when supposedly "free countries" are overrun with lunatics like Robbe-Grillet and Georges Perec, who was forced to write an entire novel of paens to Beelzebub without using the letter "e" once, after his degenerate pals had gobbled all the "e"s in the vicinity.