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SCOOP (South Carolina Obscenity Oversight Patrol) responded to a disturbance last night at a strip club on the outskirts of Columbia. I was the lead investigator. A man entered a strip club brandishing a pistol demanding to remove his wife from the club. My first thought was this was some sort of jealous pervert married to a stripper. Upon questioning the suspect I determined that the gentleman involved was a good Christian husband with a legitimate concern for his wife. She was not employed by the strip club, she was a patron.
I questioned the gentleman and learned that his wife had been a dutiful spouse, tending to household chores, baking pies, raising little soldiers for Christ, and submitting to spankings when necessary. But, back in January she had convinced him to go on a “cruise” for vacation. I was shocked at the story he told.
They traveled to the Caribbean on Norwegian Cruise Lines. Well I’ll tell you, nothing from Norway is good. The country is full of homers, lesbians, pornography and atheists. It seems that once they departed from Miami (America’s second most sinful city) she indulged herself with massages, dance shows, casino gambling, exercise spas, sunbathing, excessive eating and alcohol. When the couple returned home it was obvious to the gentleman that his wife had become a lesbian. He was immediately released and his wife was detained at theMotel 6 Richland County Sheriff’s Department for questioning.
She admitted that her exposure to the myriad of vices in a confined place (the cruise ship) had overwhelmed her. She apparently was aroused by the dance shows where scantily clothed women moved in erotic gyrations accompanied by homer male dancers. I knew then and there we were dealing with a demonic possession. I'm sure she is on the path to full blown orgasm.
She is being detained and will undergo treatment under my personal supervision. SC law dictates she undergo water boarding and electric shock therapy. Any other treatment methods are at my personal discretion.
My question to the forum is this. Have any of you fine True Christians ever dealt with lesbianism caused by demonic possession? Have any of you found any specific treatments that are useful? The husband wants his wife back in short order. He is finding that the menu at the Waffle House is getting tiresome and desires his wife back for her cooking skills.
All help would be appreciated.
Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus
I questioned the gentleman and learned that his wife had been a dutiful spouse, tending to household chores, baking pies, raising little soldiers for Christ, and submitting to spankings when necessary. But, back in January she had convinced him to go on a “cruise” for vacation. I was shocked at the story he told.
They traveled to the Caribbean on Norwegian Cruise Lines. Well I’ll tell you, nothing from Norway is good. The country is full of homers, lesbians, pornography and atheists. It seems that once they departed from Miami (America’s second most sinful city) she indulged herself with massages, dance shows, casino gambling, exercise spas, sunbathing, excessive eating and alcohol. When the couple returned home it was obvious to the gentleman that his wife had become a lesbian. He was immediately released and his wife was detained at the
She admitted that her exposure to the myriad of vices in a confined place (the cruise ship) had overwhelmed her. She apparently was aroused by the dance shows where scantily clothed women moved in erotic gyrations accompanied by homer male dancers. I knew then and there we were dealing with a demonic possession. I'm sure she is on the path to full blown orgasm.
She is being detained and will undergo treatment under my personal supervision. SC law dictates she undergo water boarding and electric shock therapy. Any other treatment methods are at my personal discretion.
My question to the forum is this. Have any of you fine True Christians ever dealt with lesbianism caused by demonic possession? Have any of you found any specific treatments that are useful? The husband wants his wife back in short order. He is finding that the menu at the Waffle House is getting tiresome and desires his wife back for her cooking skills.
All help would be appreciated.
Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus
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