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The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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  #1  
Old 06-12-2009, 08:17 AM
Rev. Jim Osborne's Avatar
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Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Praise Sweet Jesus....I was Born Again....Again!

My fellow brothers and sisters,

Praise Jesus for allowing me to be here tonight posting on this here forum! PRAISE SWEET JESUS!

I feel it is proper to introduce myself. I am the Rev. Jim Osborne. You all know me right? Well, in case some of you are under the age of 25, you might remember me from PTL's "Rev. Jim's Wealth and Health Gospel Hour" in the 1980's. I was a successful televangelist. I saved millions of confused souls around the globe and showed them that Jesus wants everybody to have Wealth and Health. I used the gifts of the Lord to witness to the unsaved. I brought prosperity to my faithful television congregation.

The Lord had blessed me with me with the sweet life. A sprawling mansion overlooking the Pacific Ocean, a beautiful wife, and a fleet of high-end European luxury automobiles. It was the Lord's way of giving thanks back to me for preaching his Word.

It all came to a crashing halt in the fall of 1989, when the Fox TV show "A Current Affair" with Maury Povich televised a brutal exposé on my sins. I was embezzling tithes and church dollars to finance my Rolls-Royce obsession and $10,000 a night 5-star hotel stays in exotic locales. It wasn't long before seedy photographs surfaced of me in a compromising position with a Thai transsexual prostitute.

I pleaded on camera for forgiveness. I admitted I sinned. But, the Justice Department filed charges on me for various crimes such as embezzlement, fraud, racketeering, and pandering. I spent the next 15 years in a Federal penitentiary.

That is when I re-dedicated myself to the Lord Jesus Christ and became born again...again. Upon release, I swore to our Lord, myself, and all those I love that I will be a better person. I am truly sorry for all the sins I have committed in the past.

Now, I am re-establishing my televangelist career. I appear around 3:00 am on weekends on public access, using a rented studio, preaching to the unsaved. I use myself as an example of a wonderful human being who could not resist temptation and turn to sin.

I now turn to you, my dear Landover Baptist Church. I am no longer the hypocritical, greedy, scheming, duplicitous, conniving scoundrel that I was. I am simply a humble man, bowing before God, asking for forgiveness.

PRAISE JESUS that I am outside of bars, back into the real world!!! PRAISE SWEET JESUS!!!
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  #2  
Old 06-12-2009, 11:13 AM
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Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Praise Sweet Jesus....I was Born Again....Again!

Well Shout glory! If it isn't Rev. Osborne!! I remember you from back when I was just a kid! I caddied for you one weekend out at Royal County Down when you played a foursome with Pastor Deacon Fred and a couple of Playboy Bunnies (Miss April and Miss October if I remember correctly). What a weekend that was. I wonder if you remember...

Anyway, it's great to see you here! I hope you'll stick around and stay out of trouble this time. Let me know if you need anything sir.
__________________
Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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  #3  
Old 06-12-2009, 04:38 PM
Rev. Jim Osborne's Avatar
Rev. Jim Osborne Rev. Jim Osborne is offline
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Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Praise Sweet Jesus....I was Born Again....Again!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Well Shout glory! If it isn't Rev. Osborne!! I remember you from back when I was just a kid! I caddied for you one weekend out at Royal County Down when you played a foursome with Pastor Deacon Fred and a couple of Playboy Bunnies (Miss April and Miss October if I remember correctly). What a weekend that was. I wonder if you remember...

Anyway, it's great to see you here! I hope you'll stick around and stay out of trouble this time. Let me know if you need anything sir.
Well, bust my buttons and tickle me pink! It's little Zeke Flint...all grown up! Why yea, I remember you! Hot diggity, you were one smart cookie. I knew you'd grow up to be a successful pastor, like I once was. Remember when we used to play Name That Bible Verse? Even when you were 9 I couldn't ever stump you!

Hmm...well, Pastor Deacon Fred and I did have a foursome with two Playboy Bunnies, but it wasn't at a golf course. If I recall correctly, you caddied for us at Royal County Down when we had the Penthouse Pets with us. Playboy, Penthouse, so easily confused!

Anyways, it's great to be back!
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  #4  
Old 06-12-2009, 06:52 PM
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James Hutchins James Hutchins is offline
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James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Praise Sweet Jesus....I was Born Again....Again!

Wow, all this greatness in one place. I am truly humbled!

Rev. Jim, if you ever need anything moved discreetly by truck, give me a call. I extend this courtesy to all the respected Pastors and Reverends at Landover, no charge my pleasure.
__________________
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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  #5  
Old 06-13-2009, 03:08 AM
Rev. Jim Osborne's Avatar
Rev. Jim Osborne Rev. Jim Osborne is offline
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Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Praise Sweet Jesus....I was Born Again....Again!

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
Wow, all this greatness in one place. I am truly humbled!

Rev. Jim, if you ever need anything moved discreetly by truck, give me a call. I extend this courtesy to all the respected Pastors and Reverends at Landover, no charge my pleasure.
What a wonderful coincidence! As a matter of fact, Brother James, I do have some very important, expensive "goods" that could be moved and shipped by you. It's too difficult going through the airport with their rigorous searches these days, and Fed Ex/UPS is simply out of the question.

I'll get in contact with you later so that we can do business.

Thanks, pal!
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  #6  
Old 06-13-2009, 01:32 PM
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James Hutchins James Hutchins is offline
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James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Praise Sweet Jesus....I was Born Again....Again!

Reverend, there is never a charge for the upstanding Elders at Landover. I just piggy back you items on another load.
__________________
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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  #7  
Old 06-14-2009, 12:01 PM
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Max Bayes Max Bayes is offline
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Default Re: Praise Sweet Jesus....I was Born Again....Again!

I hate to speak against my brothers, but you sicken me "reverend". Coming from Godless UK, I had to fight for my faith. I was raised to believe that there was no God, and that lying, cheating and stealing was just the way things were.

However, thanks to His Glory, I found my path to Him. Since then, I have not strayed from the Light once. It has been hard, it has been tough, but I stand testament that, despite all the filth around me, the Lord's love still has power over evil.

You on the other hand, who had it all on a plate, would make a mockery of God. Here at Landover, we use our tithes to build a better world for us all to live in, not mansions. It is not mine to reserve judgement, however, and I see that the Lord has punished you as He saw fit. Therefore, I welcome you back to the fold, albeit cautiously. You will excuse me if I retain my reservations.
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  #8  
Old 06-14-2009, 02:02 PM
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Bethany Covington Bethany Covington is offline
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Default Re: Praise Sweet Jesus....I was Born Again....Again!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. Jim Osborne View Post
My fellow brothers and sisters,

Praise Jesus for allowing me to be here tonight posting on this here forum! PRAISE SWEET JESUS!

I feel it is proper to introduce myself. I am the Rev. Jim Osborne. You all know me right? Well, in case some of you are under the age of 25, you might remember me from PTL's "Rev. Jim's Wealth and Health Gospel Hour" in the 1980's. I was a successful televangelist. I saved millions of confused souls around the globe and showed them that Jesus wants everybody to have Wealth and Health. I used the gifts of the Lord to witness to the unsaved. I brought prosperity to my faithful television congregation.



PRAISE JESUS that I am outside of bars, back into the real world!!! PRAISE SWEET JESUS!!!
Well Good morning Rev Jim! I think we ran into you at the Bakers yard sale many years back...after that messy incident with Jessica Hahn. You and your lovely wife bought Jim and Tammy's air conditioned dog house if I remember correctly.
Oh BTW, Brand is sending you a copy of his discipline tape "The Gentle Use of Bondage For Loving Christians". The videos can be had by others for the mere price of $19.95 for set 1987-1990. PM me for more details.
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Yours in Christ,
Bethany Angelica Covington

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  #9  
Old 07-14-2009, 06:27 PM
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D'Arlene Sepkowitz D'Arlene Sepkowitz is offline
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Default Re: Praise Sweet Jesus....I was Born Again....Again!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. Jim Osborne View Post
Well, bust my buttons and tickle me pink! It's little Zeke Flint...all grown up! Why yea, I remember you! Hot diggity, you were one smart cookie. I knew you'd grow up to be a successful pastor, like I once was. Remember when we used to play Name That Bible Verse? Even when you were 9 I couldn't ever stump you!

Hmm...well, Pastor Deacon Fred and I did have a foursome with two Playboy Bunnies, but it wasn't at a golf course. If I recall correctly, you caddied for us at Royal County Down when we had the Penthouse Pets with us. Playboy, Penthouse, so easily confused!

Anyways, it's great to be back!
My money says golf isn't all Zeke and Reverend Osborne were playing together back in the day...
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Old 08-31-2009, 05:42 PM
BatmanBen BatmanBen is offline
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Default Re: Praise Sweet Jesus....I was Born Again....Again!

"conniving" ?

learn to spell.
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  #11  
Old 08-31-2009, 05:53 PM
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Professor Bessemer Professor Bessemer is offline
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Default Re: Praise Sweet Jesus....I was Born Again....Again!

Quote:
Originally Posted by BatmanBen View Post
"conniving" ?

learn to spell.
Friend,
You have made a total of three posts in our Godly forum. You made an obvious capitalization error in one of those posts. This one is about a typo in a thread that is three months old. Also, you did not bother to quote the actual post where the typo was located.

Why are so full of pride and anger? Do you not know that Jesus wants you to be saved
__________________
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Old 08-31-2009, 06:13 PM
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Default Re: Praise Sweet Jesus....I was Born Again....Again!

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Originally Posted by BatmanBen View Post
"conniving" ?

learn to spell.
What's wrong with conniving?
Even an ignorant wop like me know it's a proper English word.
What's your point?
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Old 09-07-2010, 09:09 PM
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Default Re: Praise Sweet Jesus....I was Born Again....Again!

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Originally Posted by Rev. Jim Osborne View Post
My fellow brothers and sisters,

Praise Jesus for allowing me to be here tonight posting on this here forum! PRAISE SWEET JESUS!

I feel it is proper to introduce myself. I am the Rev. Jim Osborne. You all know me right? Well, in case some of you are under the age of 25, you might remember me from PTL's "Rev. Jim's Wealth and Health Gospel Hour" in the 1980's. I was a successful televangelist. I saved millions of confused souls around the globe and showed them that Jesus wants everybody to have Wealth and Health. I used the gifts of the Lord to witness to the unsaved. I brought prosperity to my faithful television congregation. Uh....NO..you are a parasite who feeds off those people who are looking for hope in a dark and fallen world. You have managed to deceive those poor people who have put their "faith" in a person like you who is an expert in deceit.

The Lord had blessed me with me with the sweet life. A sprawling mansion overlooking the Pacific Ocean, a beautiful wife, and a fleet of high-end European luxury automobiles. It was the Lord's way of giving thanks back to me for preaching his Word. Incredible that you can sit back and brag about what you have scammed from people who work hard and send you money so that you can live this lavish lifestyle...you have no shame in that you use Gods name to filter this lie to others...you have scammed Gods people to let you live a life filled with riches. Remember the parable of the Rich Man and Lazarus,,,soon to be renamed Jim Osborne and the imporverished people who trusted a charleton.

It all came to a crashing halt in the fall of 1989, when the Fox TV show "A Current Affair" with Maury Povich televised a brutal exposé on my sins. I was embezzling tithes and church dollars to finance my Rolls-Royce obsession and $10,000 a night 5-star hotel stays in exotic locales. It wasn't long before seedy photographs surfaced of me in a compromising position with a Thai transsexual prostitute. What a great rich history you have sown.

I pleaded on camera for forgiveness. I admitted I sinned. But, the Justice Department filed charges on me for various crimes such as embezzlement, fraud, racketeering, and pandering. I spent the next 15 years in a Federal penitentiary. Isn't this where you received more of your training in how to rip off people? I am guessing you graduated from the penitentiary with honors?

That is when I re-dedicated myself to the Lord Jesus Christ and became born again...again. Upon release, I swore to our Lord, myself, and all those I love that I will be a better person. I am truly sorry for all the sins I have committed in the past. As opposed to all the sins you are now a part of...

Now, I am re-establishing my televangelist career. I appear around 3:00 am on weekends on public access, using a rented studio, preaching to the unsaved. I use myself as an example of a wonderful human being who could not resist temptation and turn to sin. Nope, you're just a better con man now who is able to swindle peoples money with a more pious attitude.

I now turn to you, my dear Landover Baptist Church. I am no longer the hypocritical, greedy, scheming, duplicitous, conniving scoundrel that I was. I am simply a humble man, bowing before God, asking for forgiveness.

PRAISE JESUS that I am outside of bars, back into the real world!!! PRAISE SWEET JESUS!!!
Nice try there Jimmy....you're just a better hypocrite now who has studied at one of the Federal Institutions on how to get rich off the backs of those people who are looking for hope and you sell them on a "bait and switch" scheme to help you get rich again. They want hope and you use yourself as a mediator to get them riches. Remember what the Rich Man asked Jesus about gaining eternal life,,,how he had kept all of the law and Jesus told him to sell all that he had and give to the poor? Remember that one Jimmy? If you want to be credible then do what Jesus told that man to do...the Rich Man couldnt do it because he was very rich and walked away very sorrowful. Do you want to show your followers that you are different...can you sell all that you have to prove to your followers you can give it all away? My guess is a Big Fat NO! Why? Because you are a fraud is a wolf in sheeps clothing. Enjoy it all now Jimmy cuz you dont have long to enjoy all these riches...when this life is over and Eternity starts you're going to be spending a lot of time with romantic walks with the Devil on his own private beach on Devils Island. Tic Toc Jimmy....times are getting shorter for ya. Tell Jan and Paul there is a lot of room on that beach for all of you and get some heat proof sandals and thongs...and tons of lotion that is like SPF 1000.
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Old 09-07-2010, 09:14 PM
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Default Re: Praise Sweet Jesus....I was Born Again....Again!

What is your obsession with Rev. Jim? You bring up a post that's over a year old and start tearing him apart with baseless accusations?

I've dealt with the Good Reverend and I can tell you that he is nothing if not an upright True Christian™.
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Old 09-07-2010, 09:21 PM
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Default Re: Praise Sweet Jesus....I was Born Again....Again!

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Originally Posted by cigary View Post
Nice try there Jimmy....you're just a better hypocrite now who has studied at one of the Federal Institutions on how to get rich off the backs of those people who are looking for hope and you sell them on a "bait and switch" scheme to help you get rich again. They want hope and you use yourself as a mediator to get them riches. Remember what the Rich Man asked Jesus about gaining eternal life,,,how he had kept all of the law and Jesus told him to sell all that he had and give to the poor? Remember that one Jimmy? If you want to be credible then do what Jesus told that man to do...the Rich Man couldnt do it because he was very rich and walked away very sorrowful. Do you want to show your followers that you are different...can you sell all that you have to prove to your followers you can give it all away? My guess is a Big Fat NO! Why? Because you are a fraud is a wolf in sheeps clothing. Enjoy it all now Jimmy cuz you dont have long to enjoy all these riches...when this life is over and Eternity starts you're going to be spending a lot of time with romantic walks with the Devil on his own private beach on Devils Island. Tic Toc Jimmy....times are getting shorter for ya. Tell Jan and Paul there is a lot of room on that beach for all of you and get some heat proof sandals and thongs...and tons of lotion that is like SPF 1000.
Please do not revive dead threads. This thing wasn't posted in in what, a year? And honestly, are you actually discrediting Rev. Osborn for PREVIOUSLY MAKING MONEY? There is nothing wrong with offering services to make money, it's the American way of life. And Rev. Osborn has donated to various Christian charities, including the Landover Baptist Church. In fact, every week at church whenever the donation basket comes around he is the first one to pledge a large donation for next week. You're making so many assumptions about a man you don't know. Why can you not see that he has genuinely changed? There are papists raping little boys as we speak, and yet you choose to pick on a glorious True Christian™ Baptist Reverend, who has not been a Televangelist for more than a year?
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Old 09-07-2010, 09:23 PM
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Default Re: Praise Sweet Jesus....I was Born Again....Again!

Quote:
Originally Posted by cigary View Post
Nice try there Jimmy....you're just a better hypocrite now who has studied at one of the Federal Institutions on how to get rich off the backs of those people who are looking for hope and you sell them on a "bait and switch" scheme to help you get rich again. They want hope and you use yourself as a mediator to get them riches. Remember what the Rich Man asked Jesus about gaining eternal life,,,how he had kept all of the law and Jesus told him to sell all that he had and give to the poor? Remember that one Jimmy? If you want to be credible then do what Jesus told that man to do...the Rich Man couldnt do it because he was very rich and walked away very sorrowful. Do you want to show your followers that you are different...can you sell all that you have to prove to your followers you can give it all away? My guess is a Big Fat NO! Why? Because you are a fraud is a wolf in sheeps clothing. Enjoy it all now Jimmy cuz you dont have long to enjoy all these riches...when this life is over and Eternity starts you're going to be spending a lot of time with romantic walks with the Devil on his own private beach on Devils Island. Tic Toc Jimmy....times are getting shorter for ya. Tell Jan and Paul there is a lot of room on that beach for all of you and get some heat proof sandals and thongs...and tons of lotion that is like SPF 1000.
That's a whole lot of damning, rebuking, casting-into-hell, sarcasm, and nastiness. Which of those qualities does our Lord have that you are trying to emulate? Answer: None of the above.
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Old 09-07-2010, 09:25 PM
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Default Re: Praise Sweet Jesus....I was Born Again....Again!

How is Jim at threading a through the eye of a needle?
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Old 09-07-2010, 09:29 PM
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Default Re: Praise Sweet Jesus....I was Born Again....Again!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jo Freddie View Post
How is Jim at threading a through the eye of a needle?
I'm not sure a Muslim can fit through the eye of a needle. Maybe we should try with a Pastafarian first.
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Old 09-07-2010, 09:35 PM
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Default Re: Praise Sweet Jesus....I was Born Again....Again!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
I'm not sure a Muslim can fit through the eye of a needle. Maybe we should try with a Pastafarian first.
The KJV-CFT had nothing to say about Muslims or Pastafarians passing though the eye of a needle, but it does have this to say about a rich man

Mathew 19:24

Quote:
And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.
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Old 09-08-2010, 12:07 AM
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Default Re: Praise Sweet Jesus....I was Born Again....Again!

Rev. Jim,

As a relative newcomer on this forum I've not had the pleasure of meeting you. You seem to be in good standing with the forum elite, so that's good enough for me.

I must admit, with a face as kind and trusting as yours, your past sins are hard to believe - but since you have such a trusting face, I find my trust with you (even though we haven't met) absolute!!! So much so, that if you are back for good, I'd like to be the first person to step forward, give you my credit card number and make a generous tithe!!

I'll PM you that shortly.

John.
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