[Lycia The Repentant]

Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

There isn't a button there. It may be because I'm not a True Christian, but I can't find the button. Could you please invite me?

Hmm, it seems that JesOS has the forums set so users under investigation cannot join social groups. I wasn't aware of that, so I apologize for that. However, as leader of the Junior Anti-Sex League I hereby give you permission to refer to yourself as a probationary member until the results of your DoF investigation are processed. Though your name won't appear in the official membership lists please feel free to spread our message of chastity and purity.

[Joshua The Converted]

Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

Thank you Lycia. What does DoF stand for, and why am I being investigated by them? I suppose it is because I might secretly be a God-Mocking Pastafarian?

[Girl For God]

Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

I was in Freehold, Iowa last month on business and witnessed a highly respected member of the Landover Church giving money to a local prostitute. I was shocked at what I saw. I think we all deserve an explanation for what took place. I have it recorded on my phone.

[genisisread]

Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

According to the bible, God killed 2,391,421 people and Satan only killed 10.

Anyone think that we could be following the wrong guy?

I just read the sickest book in the world.

There was paedophilia, incest, rape, violence, domestic abuse, jews, blacks, pakis. It was fucking great.

I think it was called 'The Bible'.
So what if Jesus turned water into wine...I turned a whole student loan into Vodka once. Your move Jesus...

Jesus may have walked on water, but Stephen Hawking runs on batteries.

So Jesus was crucified on Good Friday and rose from the dead on the Sunday?

Just in time for half price Easter eggs. Typical fucking Jew.

you thought you had lag?

It took Jesus 3 days to respawn.
Don't you love the tan lines that girls get after sunbathing? It's almost like god came down and highlighted all the important parts.
BBC News - "Stephen Hawking: God did not create Universe"

If God DID exist, he'd be pretty pissed off. In fact, if I was god I would probably have gone back in time and punished Hawking in some horrible way...

Nope, no sign of that.
Baptism.....

Another Excuse priests use to get kids wet

The problem with Baptists is that they don't hold them under water long enough
Christianity: One woman's lie about having an affair that got seriously out of hand.
I used to have an invisible friend, then I stopped going to church.

I got kicked out of the library once for moving all the Bibles to the fiction section.

A woman whose daughter was hospitalised in a US tornado told ITV News that "God would make her better." Presumably, that's a different God from the one that almost killed her with a tornado.

People who don't like their beliefs being laughed at shouldn't have such funny beliefs.

If we're all God's children, then what's so special about Jesus?

Anyone else find it funny that the disclaimer "The characters in this film are fictitious and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental" is in the credits for 'The Passion of the Christ'?


I saw a sign outside a church which read:

"C H - R C H... There's only one thing missing."

I'm not sure "CHPROOFRCH" is even a word.


My christian neighbour told me that he will always follow his Bible.

So I threw it off a cliff

Christianity: the belief that a 2,000-year old Jewish zombie will get angry if you masturbate.

Christianity - The religion based on the irony of a carpenter being nailed to a giant wooden cross

How do you execute a fictional character?

By nailing him to a cross.






Mary: I have something to tell you... I'm pregnant. It's not yours. I'm sorry.

Joseph: ....Holy fuck.


Mary: Funny you should say that...

The Bible is too wordy, the stories are too wordy, there's no need for the ten commandments.

The Bible should be just one sheet of paper that says:

'Try not to be a cunt.'

[Joshua The Converted]

Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

Woah, Genesisread, you seem to be pretty sceptic. And I suppose you could say Jesus "respawned", but not in the way as seen on Call Of Duty, where you die, and you're brought back to life. The Bible should be as it is, as it tells people how to live their lives. "Try not to be a cooter" is insuficient. And, God did punish Steven Hawking, by giving him a form of Motor Neurone Disease known as Amyotrophic Lateral Schlerosis, which I think is not enough. His punishment should have been death, and then eternity in the fires of Hell. But, I guess God just wanted to watch him suffer for a while, giving him that horrible disease, and then letting him spend eternity in Hell.

[WinnerNotSinner]

Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

This seems like a pretty swell idea.
We all know children strive to be cooler than each other, so if this means they are looked at as being cool, being safe, and following the LORD as well then we're killing three birds with one red sash!

Once one child joins, their unsaved friends will want to be in the "cool gang" too, and before you know it, it's a craze like pokeymon.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

…pakis…

Are you English? There is an introduction section HERE where you can tell us about youself, and include a favourite Bible verse (perhaps tha one about a "pakis" whatever that is..). You need to click the button that looks like this:

[Jesus is Lord]

Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

Excellent idea! Way to many young men and women think there is nothing wrong with premarital fornication. They don't understand that premarital sex will damn them to the fires of Hell. God didn't create sex to be enjoyed, HE created it so we have a way of bringing more Christian Soldiers into the world (and to save women through child-bearing). The ONLY reason to fornicate is for married couples to reproduce. Sex for any other reason or outside of marriage is wrong and sinful.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

Now, on a different note, I am pleased to announce the Junior Anti-Sex League has taken an official position on the recruitment of older members, as this seems to have been a bit of a point of consternation. In the interest of having enough members where we can always watch and lovingly correct our Outer Members when they may stray from the path of chastity, the Junior Anti-Sex League is officially open to all applicants, regardless of age. Furthermore, we ask that any Full Members over the age of 24 be addressed with the titles "Big Brother" and "Big Sister" (as opposed to just "Brother" and "Sister") in all official Junior Anti-Sex League correspondence.

Thank you for your time friends, and remember, we will one day have a world where the grievous sins of fornication and pre-marital sex are dealt with exactly how God wants. Praise Jesus!

Would it be appropriate to give Reverend Osborne a special title in recognition of his extra-ordinary devotion to the Junior Anti-Sex cause? Just calling him "Daddy" would work if only it weren't for the unfortunate Catholic connotations, and the fact that we only have one Father, who is in Heaven.

According to the bible, God killed 2,391,421 people and Satan only killed 10.

Anyone think that we could be following the wrong guy?

What, when the Final Battle comes you want to be on the side of the wimp?

I just read the sickest book in the world.

There was paedophilia, incest, rape, violence, domestic abuse, jews, blacks, pakis. It was piffleing great.

I think it was called 'The Bible'.

A) It's pretty racist to think that "Jews, blacks and pakis" fall into the category of sick stuff.
B ) Where are there Pakistanis in the Bible?

So what if Jesus turned water into wine...I turned a whole student loan into Vodka once. Your move Jesus...

I hope your approach to essay-writing is better than your approach to post-writing.

A woman whose daughter was hospitalised in a US tornado told ITV News that "God would make her better." Presumably, that's a different God from the one that almost killed her with a tornado.

Yes, that woman was stupid. Looks like God had it in for her daughter, you're right there.

People who don't like their beliefs being laughed at shouldn't have such funny beliefs.

True, but what have Muslims got to do with anything?

If we're all God's children, then what's so special about Jesus?

He died for your sins.

The Bible is too wordy, the stories are too wordy, there's no need for the ten commandments.

The Bible should be just one sheet of paper that says:

'Try not to be a cooter.'

You really don't know much about the Bible, do you?

[Brother Helge]

Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

This idea is awsome!

As you know we do have a lot of problem with fornication here in Europe.
I was thinking of starting a Swedish Chapter (or perhaps a Scaninavian if brother Johannes Kirkeholm has the time and is interested in the project).

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

Gosh, Lycia!

That's the coolest, rockin'est logo EVER!

You guys and gals are on your way!
.

[JennySue]

Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

This is exactly what I have been looking for!! I, of course, want to wait until I have a husband. It is just so difficult because I attend one of the worst (public) schools in the state and I am always hounded by perverts (for lack of better word) who just will not leave me alone (they even tell me the things that they wish to do to me ), and I believe I need help dealing with it.
Do you by any chance have room left for a new member??

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

As Sister Lycia has explained, only those who have achieved True Christian status qualify for full membership. But I see no reason why you couldn't become an associate member in the meantime. Here in the Junior Anti-Sex League, there is always room to fit another member in.

[JennySue]

Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

Thank you very much Brother Temperance. I must have missed the part about the True Christian status. How would I achieve that status?

[Lycia The Repentant]

Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

Thank you very much Brother Temperance. I must have missed the part about the True Christian status. How would I achieve that status?

Hello Ms. Jenny Sue. As Brother Temperance said, right now full membership in the Junior Anti-Sex League is restricted to True Christians(tm) and promising forum members. Additionally, the privilege of being sent the official red sash is restricted to True Christians(tm). However, don't let that stop you from spreading our message of chastity and purity! As leader of the Junior Anti-Sex League, I hereby allow you to consider yourself as a probationary member until we know a little more about you. Please remember that your probationary membership may be revoked if you act in a manner that is unbecoming of the League (not that I think it will be a problem! ).

Glad to have you aboard, Jenny!