[Miss Maisie]

Re: REVOKE 19th AMENDMENT?

I must say, that people saying things like that make me doubt the validity of this site....

Sir, you're extremely foolish and intolerant to say such a thing. I've been raised a lady and some things are better left in the hands of men just as some things are better left to women, for instance, I sure wouldn't want a man trying to run my kitchen, or do my needlework!

Why, would y'all rather I was some butch lezbean, trying to act like a man, or get a false tallywhacker?

Some people have such a nerve.

[see_the_light]

Re: REVOKE 19th AMENDMENT?

Sir, you're extremely foolish and intolerant to say such a thing. I've been raised a lady and some things are better left in the hands of men just as some things are better left to women, for instance, I sure wouldn't want a man trying to run my kitchen, or do my needlework!

Why, would y'all rather I was some butch lezbean, trying to act like a man, or get a false tallywhacker?

Some people have such a nerve.

It's a sad world where a lady cannot behave as one without being criticized.

And yet here you still stand with grace and (as much as is possible in the fair sex) words of wisdom.

I praise you

PRAY TO JESUS!

[Miss Maisie]

Re: REVOKE 19th AMENDMENT?

Why, thankyou, STL, it's always nice to hear such kind words from a fellow Christian.

It's very sad how much the righteous are being persecuted. These are end times indeed!

[Ahimaaz Smith]

Re: REVOKE 19th AMENDMENT?

Although pastor Billy-Reuben's reply is logical, I still feel that there are too many ammendments to the constitution, and some of them should be repealed. Starting with this one would suit me fine.

How about a compromise? Let's get rid of these first, then, if that works out OK, we can consider repealing Amendment 19:

Amendment 1 enshrines anti-religious bigotry in the Constitution. Gotta be the first to go.

Amendments 12 and 22 should be replaced by the power to annoint George W. Bush as King, and amendment 17 should turn the power to elect senators over to a convocation of properly ordained, Bible-believing Christian pastors in the several states. Amendment 25 should provide for the appointment of Richard Cheney as Royal Steward for life, to act in the King's stead when the King is incapacitated, and also as hereditary keeper of the Royal Hunting Armory.

Amendments 13, 14, 15, 23, 24, and 26 are anti-Biblical any way you look at them (anti-slavery, expand the vote to undesirables like teenagers and retards, and the Jew judges somehow managed to read a right to the mass murder of the unborn into Amendment 14). Axe 'em all.

Amendments 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9 help only criminals, terrorists, and lawyers, not honest, God-fearing folk.

Amendment 16 is tax and spend Demoncracy at its finest. It should be replaced with a 17% flat tax on everyone's income, except 27% in the case of Jews.

Amendment 21 is good, because it pisses off the Mormons, and because if Jesus said wine was good, who are we to deny it? Anyway, 21 repeals 18, so it's a step in direction of limited government and Constitutional pruning.

Amendment 27 should be replaced with a provision giving Senators and Representatives a flat percentage of the money they appropriate to Biblically sound faith-based programs.

Of course, Amendment 2 is the foundation of liberty in America, so it has to stay, and Amendment 10 (except the "or to the people" part) is the bedrock of our God-given system of state's rights.

[tinfoil]

Re: REVOKE 19th AMENDMENT?

George W. Bush can be described with several words that would immediatly get me banned. He said the economy is more important than the environment, blocked stem-cell research, invaded another country because of false evidence, sanctions torture, and provides entertainment by being an idiot. My girlfriend has a picture of him taped to his dartboard. If he was King, I would move to a good country like Norway, Sweden, Finland, Japan, Austria, Iceland, or Singapore.

[Mrs. Jemima Cameltoe]

Re: REVOKE 19th AMENDMENT?

You see, Jemima, that fish did need a bicycle. Still, If you promise to use proper Landoveran terminology, I'd like you to stand up in Church next Sunday and present your valuable teaching to the women of the congregation. For some, your words with resonate with their daily True Christian™ practice (Miss Maisie and BTB, for example). But for others, such as Sue Vera and that Talitha, they would definitely benefit from a refresher course.

Anyway, what do you say?

Brother Lee, you dear thing you, truly you make my cup runneth over. But I must give all glory and honor to the Lord, for it is through His Spirit alive in me that I can utter such astonishingly sage-like wisdom and exhortation to the sisters of Landover. I apologize for my incorrect genitalia terminology, I am still trying to get my bearings having been gone for so long. Now, if I do speak with the ladies on Sunday, I was hoping to spend some time on the subject of vaginal sanctification i.e. proper Christian douching. Would you please enlighten me on acceptable Landover terminology for my, as Mr. Cameltoe likes to refer to it, vanilla vajayjay?

FYI, I have already suggested to Sisters Sue Vera and Talitha that we have some private three on three prayer time. However, you are more than welcome to join us and make it a foursome. I have no doubt you have many blessings to pour out on us.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: REVOKE 19th AMENDMENT?

Oh, so you guys aren't only intolerant superior Republican idiots, you're also sexist.

So you admit that we're superior? That's nice of you.

I'm Presbyterian and I don't think you people are real Christians.

What do you heretics have against Baptists, eh?

George W. Bush can be described with several words that would immediatly get me banned.

Friend, we would never ban someone for using a word like "wise" "Christian" or "magnificent." Feel free.

[Ahimaaz Smith]

Re: REVOKE 19th AMENDMENT?

He said the economy is more important than the environment,

You lieberals don't really care about the environment, you just want to throw us back into the stone age. 20 years from now, we'll all have inexpensive and clean nuclear power, and nobody will remember what all that global warming fuss was about.

blocked stem-cell research,

Blocked mass murder.

invaded another country because of false evidence,

Five words: You attack America, you pay.

sanctions torture,

Sometimes self-defense gets a little messy. Anyway, nothing that happens in Guantanamo even comes close to the suffering those Mohammedians will experience in Hell.

provides entertainment by being an idiot.

Just because he speaks with a Southern accent, you Eastern, lieberal, elitist regionalists call the President an idiot. This is the 21st Century, for Heaven's sake. That kind of bigotry is not acceptible anymore, certainly not at Landover Baptist. President Bush is very intelligent, and he has the degrees from Yale and Harvard to prove it. When you have a couple of Ivy League degrees yourself (or even better, a diploma from Landover Christian University), then we can chat about the President's IQ. Until then, stuff a sock in it!

My girlfriend has a picture of him taped to his dartboard.

If she's wasting her time like that, she's obviously not happy with the sex she's getting at home. Not, mind you, that I approve of that kind of thing, but if you're going to fornicate, at least try to do it right.

If he was King, I would move to a good country like Norway, Sweden, Finland, Japan, Austria, Iceland, or Singapore.

If you like them so much, why not go hang out with your buddies in Iranistan instead?

[bastard]

Re: REVOKE 19th AMENDMENT?

George W. Bush can be described with several words that would immediatly get me banned. He said the economy is more important than the environment, blocked stem-cell research, invaded another country because of false evidence, sanctions torture, and provides entertainment by being an idiot. My girlfriend has a picture of him taped to his dartboard. If he was King, I would move to a good country like Norway, Sweden, Finland, Japan, Austria, Iceland, or Singapore.

I do not mind if I am banned so I will use the correct terms to describe the fiasco that is George W. Bush. He is ignorant, a false Christian, lazy, greedy, an so mind-numbingly mormonic as to defy description (like some of the "True Christians" on this board). Thankfully it was declared long ago that a President could only serve 2 terms of 4 years each. Hopefully, who ever is elected next straightens out all the foul-ups that Georgie caused.

P.S. - A false christian is someone that claims to be a christian following the word of God but in reality is so far away for the Truth of the Lord that they cause serious damage to the efforts of good God-fearing Christians to lead people to the path of rightousness and to the Lord God Almighty.

[VictoryOS]

Re: REVOKE 19th AMENDMENT?

My girlfriend has a picture of him taped to his dartboard.

I don't know what to make of that, but I'm sure it's depraved. Obviously you're a homer of some kind, though.

[Ahimaaz Smith]

Re: REVOKE 19th AMENDMENT?

A false christian is someone that claims to be a christian following the word of God but in reality is so far away for the Truth of the Lord that they cause serious damage to the efforts of good God-fearing Christians to lead people to the path of rightousness and to the Lord God Almighty.

That's a serious post that deserves some serious discussion, so I'll drop the mockery. I, and everyone I know at Landover, agree 100% with what you said in that sentence. Since we agree on the goal of religion, then, obviously our understanding of God's Truth and yours are very different. I'd like to explore that difference, and I'm willing to bring an open mind to the table. I'm not too proud to admit when I am wrong.

Here's where we come from: The bedrock of our theology at Landover is the Bible. We follow the Bible because we believe that it is the Will and the Word of the Lord--every chapter, every verse, every word. There are some very harsh commandments in the Bible, and many of us wish that some of them were different. Nevertheless, we trust that Our Heavenly Father has good reasons for imposing the commandments, both harsh and pleasant, that he has upon us. Moreover, we believe in the Lord's Prayer: Thy will be done in Earth as it is in heaven (Matthew 6:10), so we do not see it as our place to question the Bible. Note that visitors in our Forums tend to focus on the less palatable parts of our beliefs, ignoring that we believe in faith, hope, and love (1 Corinthians 13:13), too.

If we knew of another source from which were confident that we could determine God's Will, we would use it. Unfortunately, though, God doesn't send angelic messengers to us on a regular basis, we aren't Mormons or Catholics who think there is an infallible prophet living on Earth, and we're going to have to wait a little while before Jesus returns to Earth to guide us. So, I have a few serious questions for you:

How do you personally determine what the Truth of the Lord is?

Is any of His Truth to be found in the Bible (it sounds like you think so)?

Is His whole Truth found in the Bible (we definitely think so)?

If there is a source of God's Truth outside the Bible, what is it?

If there are errors or omissions in the Bible, how are we to decide which parts of the Bible we should follow and which we should ignore?

[Brother Lindh]

Re: REVOKE 19th AMENDMENT?

Who cares how they cook or vote, if they have long tender necks?

[Wash O'Hanley]

Re: REVOKE 19th AMENDMENT?

We have enough Liberals, Catholics and pedophiles on these forums-- we don't need the undead too.

[Brother Lindh]

Re: REVOKE 19th AMENDMENT?

We have enough Liberals, Catholics and pedophiles on these forums-- we don't need the undead too.

Don't worry, your neck looks a bit aged for my "taste". Besides that, Sister Noddy likes me. Just look at her neck. Praise Jesus.

[tinfoil]

Re: REVOKE 19th AMENDMENT?

It's called a typo, for crying out loud. I meant to type "her". Please don't make fun of me for that too.
Stem-cell research involves using embryos that are going to be tossed out in the trash after sitting in a freezer for a while. It's not mass murder!
The terrorists on 9/11 were from Saudi Arabia, not Iraq. We didn't attack our pals the Saudis because they have all our oil.
I didn't call him an idiot because he has a southern accent, I called him an idiot because of wonderful quotes like "Childrens, they do learn!" and the like. Childrens. And this is the leader of the free world?
Sex? You just have a sick mind since I said "girlfriend". I have this thing called "a personal life that doesn't involve sex".
No, I would move to those countries if this one went straight down the toilet by making Mr. Shrub king. That would be awful.
I don't mean superior as a compliment, I mean it as "arrogant and big-headed".
I have against Baptists the fact that they are rascist, sexist, intolerant, Republicans.
Would you ban me for words most commonly represented as ****?
Bush is also spying on our phones and didn't even win the popular vote?
And what wiseguy administrator changed my name to tinfoil? Why did they do it? I should hack your server.