Ted Cruz Admits Defeat! Calls Melania Trump the "Next First Lady"!

[Elmer G. White]

Brethren and Sisters! It is official. While other GOP candidates may still keep up appearances and continue in the primaries, they have started to call Mrs. Trump the First Lady!

Ergo, Mr. Cruz admits that the next Leader of the Free World will be The Donald!



This is a picture published by Mr. Cruz's Campaign, from his supporters! They even warn us that supporting Mr. Cruz would jeopardize this option and give us another, less qualified First Lady!



The organization is called "Make America Awesome" and it is obvious that no-one can disagree with that after seeing Mrs. Trump's magnificent image. She's awesome. As always (when it comes to The Donald), there is a Biblical precedent!

Song of Solomon 1:13
A bundle of myrrh is my wellbeloved unto me; he shall lie all night betwixt my breasts.

Song of Solomon 4:5
Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins, which feed among the lilies.

Song of Solomon 7:8
I said, I will go up to the palm tree, I will take hold of the boughs thereof: now also thy breasts shall be as clusters of the vine, and the smell of thy nose like apples;

Mr. Cruz has endorsed Mrs. Trump as our next First Lady. Jesus has confirmed the nomination in the Bible. It is official. To give you some perspective, here's the picture of Mrs. Heidi Cruz, whom Mr. Cruz has abandoned as a realistic alternative for a First Lady.



America is going to be awesome again with our new, beautiful First Lady!




Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Trent Harvey, Jr.]

Re: Ted Cruz Admits Defeat! Calls Melania Trump the "Next First Lady"!

What, only one? I thought a major part of Trumpism is America getting to have a whole harem of first ladies!

Polygamy is Biblical, you Sore Cruzzer!*


*"Sore Cruzzer" is a trademark of, well, nobody, since I can't figure out how copywrite works.

[Nobar King]

Re: Ted Cruz Admits Defeat! Calls Melania Trump the "Next First Lady"!

Donald Trump gets a lot of flack for having married someone from another country, but aren't these the kind of immigrants that we want?

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Ted Cruz Admits Defeat! Calls Melania Trump the "Next First Lady"!

Donald Trump gets a lot of flack for having married someone from another country, but aren't these the kind of immigrants that we want?

Brother Nobar,

I totally agree! We definitely endorse the same kind of immigration that has made The Donald's life sweet and rich in begetting! Still, I had to ask if Jesus agrees, as well. He does.

Please, let me elaborate. Mrs. Melania Trump is from Slovenia, which is possibly a county in Russia. She is a Slovene. What does Jesus tell us about a Slovene woman?

Galatians 5:22
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,



Let us look at the picture above:

• Love
• Joy
• Peace
• Longsuffering
• Gentleness
• Goodness
• Faith

Our First Lady!


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Bjorn Jensen]

Re: Ted Cruz Admits Defeat! Calls Melania Trump the "Next First Lady"!

I think we should deport all negros and wetbacks, and replace them with beautiful Christian white people, like Mrs. Trump. That's the kind of immigraton we should encourage, but as the word immigration is nowadays commonly associated with people of the lesser races and false religions of whom most probably wants to kill you and rape your family, I think we should call this new thing for something nicer, something like relocation, or simply moving.

[H. Montague Worthington]

Re: Ted Cruz Admits Defeat! Calls Melania Trump the "Next First Lady"!

I would rather have Mrs. Trump as our First Lady than have a family of Mexicans (born in Canada) in the White House.

As I understand it, there are many great things about having Mrs. Trump in particular as First Lady:

1. She does not work outside the home, unlike many other candidate wives. Mrs. Cruz works at Goldman-Sachs. She makes most of the money in the Cruz household and provides the healthcare for Mr. Cruz' family (because Mr. Cruz is philosophically opposed to government employees being provided with health care). So who wears the pants in the Cruz family?

2. Watch Mrs. Trump when she is with her husband. Notice that she only speaks when spoken to. That is a great example for American women seeking to become married someday.

3. Mrs. Trump always walks about two feet behind her husband, allowing him to lead the way and acting with appropriate deference. This is something I have taught my wife Delores, and took her many years to learn to do properly.

In fact, Melania Trump is the perfect wife. She is beautiful, obedient, fertile, attractive, clean, submissive, deferential, compliant and attentive to her husband's needs and desires. The only way she could be a more perfect wife is if she was a high-tech robot built to Mr. Trump's specifications.



But of course, that's impossible. No technology exists to build a sex robot perfect wife, no matter how wealthy you might be...

[Trent Harvey, Jr.]

Re: Ted Cruz Admits Defeat! Calls Melania Trump the "Next First Lady"!

I can't express how refreshing it is to see Donald Trump and Ted Cruz taking turns sliming each other's wives. We've all heard Donald promising he's going to kill the families of terrorists, but now he's proved it with his actions: he's proved he doesn't just go after his enemies, but against their families as well.
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And if you don't like a world where America's best and brightest deal with disagreements by distributing pornographic pictures of other people's families, well, that's why we said from the start that women shouldn't be involved with politics.

I support a womans right to choose - to choose which floor to sweep first, to choose how to make dinner...

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Ted Cruz Admits Defeat! Calls Melania Trump the "Next First Lady"!

I think we can all breathe a sigh of relief that Mrs. Melania Trump is not aspiring to be a Presidential Debates Moderator - like Megyn Kelly.



Not to change the subject, but we can all rest assured the The Donald does not have "666" on his forehead - something I'm still wondering about with Ted Cruz (how about shaving back that hair Ted), particularly in light of the fact that Mrs. Heidi Cruz works for the NWO Goldman Sachs.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: Ted Cruz Admits Defeat! Calls Melania Trump the "Next First Lady"!

All this talk and pictures of the wives is slightly distasteful. I would much rather the candidates held a town hall to discuss who's momma so fat.

[Sally Paulson]

Re: Ted Cruz Admits Defeat! Calls Melania Trump the "Next First Lady"!

I just don't get it - why do people say the republican candidates are "unpresidential" for calling each other's families sluts and uglies and so on - have they even seen how unpresidential the democrats are? Just look at this:

They obviously were smoking reefers before the debate, even the whole setup is totally potheaded. THAT is unpresidential. And don't even get me started on what a demigod Bernie Sanders is.