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Old 01-22-2014, 11:37 PM
Jeb Stuart Thurmond's Avatar
Jeb Stuart Thurmond Jeb Stuart Thurmond is offline
Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
 

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Smile Biblecoin 1.0: the Christian alternative to fiat currency!

What is a Biblecoin?

A Biblecoin is a completely new, never-failed concept called an "alternative currency". The hip new idea is that it has nothing to do with governments. It's not fiat currency. This has never happened before in local living memory and/or all of history ever. But don't worry, it's not an experiment because only liberals do those.

What does fiat currency mean?

Obama likes fiat currency. Are you with us or against us?

Isn't that too simplistic?

Look, the world of amateur economics is filled with buzzword-babbling baffle-em-with-your-bs scammers, so excuse me if I try to stand out from the pack.

So it's like Bitcoin? Why shouldn't I just use Bitcoin, or the 100+ similar currencies?

Currencies of this type use lots of fancy numeric algorithms, which is basically saying that each coin is a very long string of numbers. Odds are 666 is going to show up somewhere in those numbers. Let's see what the Bible says about that:

Revelation 13

17 And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name.

18 Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is Six hundred threescore and six.


Got that? If you use bitcoins, which are basically a big long string of numbers including 666, odds are you'll be doing the bidding of THE BEAST.

Because Biblecoin uses True Christian(™) mathematics, the number of the beast will not show up.

Where can I spend Biblecoins?

Biblecoins are the only currency that will be legal tender in heaven. You can tithe biblecoins. What else do you need? OBAMA IS IN CHARGE AND THE ECONOMY IS COLLASPING!!! YOUR FIAT CURRENCY IS DOOMED! DOOMED! BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE, FLEE THE AMERICAN DOLLAR!

Okay, I'll buy some biblecoins, but what should I pay you with?

American dollars.
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Last edited by Jeb Stuart Thurmond; 02-07-2014 at 02:49 AM.
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  #2  
Old 01-23-2014, 12:01 AM
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Default Re: Biblecoin 1.0: the Christian alternative to fiat currency!

Awesome, no more of Obama's greedy hands on my money!

With this new coin, do I still have to tithe 10% of my income to our church by wire transfer? Or does it automatically take the tithe from every transaction?
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And if ye shall despise my statutes, or if your soul abhor my judgments, so that ye will not do all my commandments, but that ye break my covenant: I also will do this unto you; I will even appoint over you terror, consumption, and the burning ague, that shall consume the eyes, and cause sorrow of heart: and ye shall sow your seed in vain, for your enemies shall eat it.
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Old 01-23-2014, 04:37 AM
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Jeb Stuart Thurmond Jeb Stuart Thurmond is offline
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Default Re: Biblecoin 1.0: the Christian alternative to fiat currency!

Update! Biblecoin is currently trading at $132.07!

Quote:
Originally Posted by A Follower View Post
does it automatically take the tithe from every transaction?
That's not EXACTLY how it works but….Well, you'll see.
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Old 01-23-2014, 06:08 AM
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Default Re: Biblecoin 1.0: the Christian alternative to fiat currency!

This is an excellent idea! I hope it I will have a chance to spend it.
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  #5  
Old 01-23-2014, 08:17 AM
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Default Re: Biblecoin 1.0: the Christian alternative to fiat currency!

I'm ready to start tipping my waitresses with this new Biblecoin. I'm sure they'll appreciate that.
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  #6  
Old 02-06-2014, 09:48 PM
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Jeb Stuart Thurmond Jeb Stuart Thurmond is offline
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Default Re: Biblecoin 1.0: the Christian alternative to fiat currency!

Update! Biblecoin is currently trading at $0.01002!

That's a huge upward trend, because yesterday it was trading for two wads of partially chewed gum and an AOL(™) cd-rom for Windows 95.

Fortunately I used my ingenious job-creating skills to convert to the superior alternative currency, namely BitChrist, then Christcoin, then Jesuscoin, and currently, Blessingcoin, which is currently trading at $1504.03
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Old 02-07-2014, 01:44 AM
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James Hutchins James Hutchins is offline
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Default Re: Biblecoin 1.0: the Christian alternative to fiat currency!

Is the Church going to mine it durng Easter?
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Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Old 02-10-2014, 11:04 PM
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Default Re: Biblecoin 1.0: the Christian alternative to fiat currency!

So biblecoin is a non essential currency to my life right now, and it will only become useful when I die correct?. Therefore why should we buy it now because in a few years it could just cease trading also I find your name for the currency all to similar to "bitcoin" is that just a co-incidence or sheer gods work?
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Old 02-11-2014, 03:36 AM
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Default Re: Biblecoin 1.0: the Christian alternative to fiat currency!

Quote:
Originally Posted by demonjokester View Post
So biblecoin is a non essential currency to my life right now, and it will only become useful when I die correct?. Therefore why should we buy it now because in a few years it could just cease trading also I find your name for the currency all to similar to "bitcoin" is that just a co-incidence or sheer gods work?
Sorry, but Biblecoins® are available to True Christians™ only.
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Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Old 02-27-2014, 09:25 AM
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Trent Harvey, Jr. Trent Harvey, Jr. is offline
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Default Re: Biblecoin 1.0: the Christian alternative to fiat currency!

So I has at a party last night, and things kind of got out of hand, what with the jungle music and the skimpy clothes, and without playing the blame game

Anyway, how much is 50 shekels in Biblecoins, or blessingcoins, or whatever?

EDIT: Deuteronomy 22:28-29: "If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, he shall pay her father fifty shekels of silver. He must marry the young woman, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives."
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Old 02-27-2014, 12:44 PM
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Default Re: Biblecoin 1.0: the Christian alternative to fiat currency!

I prefer the old fashioned cash and shooting everyone who tries to steal it. I never lost a single dollar.

But now that the Democrats are going against these new electric coins, clearly they have to be a good thing and should be endorsed by decent Christian Republican Americans.

Senator Joe Manchin (D-WVa) Calls For Bitcoin Ban.

I am not entirely sure why exactly the Democrats are against electric coins. Perhaps the electricity hinders their gay orgies.
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