[Free Market Fred]

Re: Anti-tobacco NAZIs

It was in 1998, during the Clinton administration (of course!) that the infamous Master Tobacco Settlement was forced onto our patriotic cigarette corporations.

You're absolutely right Buford, but take heart - the suddenly sensible activist Supreme Court has just ruled that corporations are people, and that their freedom of speech was being suppressed by the Nazi-inspired McCain-Feingold Act.

Now that we are freed from the shackles of limited bribes to politicians, we will soon get the notorious Master Tobacco Settlement reversed. Indeed, the States are going to have to pay back (with interest!) the tobacco companies for all the money already spent on those ridiculous sex education and evolution classes. Plus a few billion in restitution should be given to the tobacco companies for the mental anguish the CEOs suffered.

Needless to say, the libelous "warning" printed on each pack of cigarettes must be immediately removed. The fact is, independent research paid for by the tobacco companies has proven beyond a doubt that smoking is good for you. Cigarette smoke kills harmful bacteria, while strengthening the lungs and heart with nutritious tars and nicotine. That's why the new Surgeon General will recommend a minimal daily requirement of two packs per day. We are demanding that cigarette machines be located in all schools and government buildings, and that smoking bans in public places be lifted.


Smoking - good for your children!

Of course, anti-tobacco Nazis don't want the public to know about the health benefits of smoking. Just like Obama's Death Panels, the anti-tobacco crowd wants to eliminate "useless eaters." First they came for your cigarettes and beer, next it will be your guns and Bibles!

Thank the Lord that the Dark Era of anti-smoking hysteria is coming to an end.

Praise Jesus!
Brother Fred

[MarkHenry]

Re: Anti-tobacco NAZIs

The fact is, independent research paid for by the tobacco companies has proven beyond a doubt that smoking is good for you. Cigarette smoke kills harmful bacteria, while strengthening the lungs and heart with nutritious tars and nicotine.

Please present me a link to this research. Back up your statements. If you cannot present a link, you have lied.

Also please direct me to any biochemical process in the body which breaks down tar and uses it as nutrients in the body.

Always back your "Facts" up with sources.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Anti-tobacco NAZIs

Please present me a link to this research. Back up your statements. If you cannot present a link, you have lied.

Also please direct me to any biochemical process in the body which breaks down tar and uses it as nutrients in the body.

Always back your "Facts" up with sources.

Keep a civil tongue in your mouth when addressing any True Christian(tm) please. You owe it to God to show respect for His chosen.

[Free Market Fred]

Re: Anti-tobacco NAZIs

I'd like to add that our lobbyists are adding a new rider to the pro-smoking bill that authorizes our cigarette companies to add methadone to tobacco. We had originally contemplated using heroin instead, but our research people found that heroin made smokers lethargic, thus less willing to work, vote (for Republicans) or go shopping.

Fortunately, methadone has no such effects, allowing users to continue to lead normal, productive lives, while never being able to quit smoking. Which is great, since as I mentioned earlier, smoking has been proven (by us) to be highly beneficial to health.

It's certainly made our balance sheet look healthier.

By the way, we'll soon be test marketing a new brand of Colombian coffee with similar properties. Previously, we found that most people couldn't drink more than four or five cups a day because it would hurt their stomach, but we think we've got that problem licked.



Praise Jesus!
Free Market Fred

[James Hutchins]

Re: Anti-tobacco NAZIs

I started smoking when I was about seven, I'll be 53 this year. I can still out run any of my kids and do not get winded after a 50 mile mountain bike ride. So all this BS about the bad side to smoking is crap!
What is really happening is the liebrals want to use the land to grow corn to make ethanol for cars. That stuff is the pits. I would not fill a heathens care with that junk. Give me Godly hydrocarbon, just as He intended. Corn is for slathering with real butter. But the liebrals want it to get their hands in the pockets of hard work Americans.
On a more personal note, there has been a bright point to all of this. As some of you know, Bernie Madoff screwed me out of a large chunk of my retirement money, close to $20 mil. Since the taxes on smokes has skyrocketed, I have a sideline of moving the occasional load and getting paid handsomely. So that $20mill will be back in the bank in another few months. But the corn grown on the Hutchins farm is for eating!

[empacae]

Re: Anti-tobacco NAZIs

It is more insidious than that. The anti-smoking campaign has been chipping away at our rights for years here. There is no smoking in the workplace, bars & restaurants. It is illegal to smoke in your own car if your children are in the car (same old liberal battle cry "Would somebody please think of the children!"). It is illegal to smoke outside in public parks, 9 meters (that's 30 feet in American) from a transit stop, and the movement continues. The lobbyist have failed at first but are still chipping away to ban smoking in your apartment if you live in a multi unit building, to ban smoking in your own private residence if you have children residing there (same battle cry). They say they are doing it for our good, but the hypocracy of just not out and out having a prohabition on it (because it rakes in so much retail tax dollars). And our freedoms continue to be eroded. These are the same people who enforce gay marriage (they're ain't no such thing really), euthanasia, homersexual couples to adopt children over loving True Christian © homes. It is the decay of moral fabric from within.. to the point that you don't even realize we're living in Babylon during it's hayday, and you find that broadcast TV has hardcore porn on a Saturday afternoon, and by habit your rapping off a couple of knuckle children before you snap to. They're must be a line drawn. Unfortunately, the opposite of love is not hate, but apathy... and I'm afraid most of us won't get off our duffs and do something until the thought police boot in our doors and yank the clicker from our atrophied hands.

It's tobacco NAZIs today... tomorrow your 1611 KJV and your assault rifles.

emp

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Anti-tobacco NAZIs

your assault rifles

That would be totally crazy. How is one supposed to hunt for food without proper guns? And at my age I need some serious firepower to protect myself.

Proverbs 12:27 "The lazy man does not roast his game, but the diligent man prizes his possessions."

[Tomatketchup]

Re: Anti-tobacco NAZIs

That would be totally crazy. How is one supposed to hunt for food without proper guns? And at my age I need some serious firepower to protect myself.

Proverbs 12:27 "The lazy man does not roast his game, but the diligent man prizes his possessions."

Do as we did 2000 years ago, hunt with sticks.

[Buford T Scoggins]

Re: Anti-tobacco NAZIs

That would be totally crazy. How is one supposed to hunt for food without proper guns? And at my age I need some serious firepower to protect myself.

I agree that you should have a gun, Brother Cranky. We conservatives need guns to protect ourselves from liberals.

However, for hunting, there are a few other traditional options:



Works real well, though some animals have been known to chew a leg off just to escape.

Needless to say, the liberals object to leg traps too. They want us to all be vegetarians, just like the homos. They think that wild animals are "cute."


"cute" bobcat (note: they ain't vegetarians like them PETA chicks)

Personally, I'd like to find a trap to catch one of them liberals. I wanna see if they got a brain.