[vikram]

Re: Greetings to fellow humans,

you saved trash know so less about india and most other countries. sad. i wanted to become one of you, but you disappoint me.

[Born Again Bob]

Re: Greetings to fellow humans,

you saved trash know so less about india and most other countries. sad. i wanted to become one of you, but you disappoint me.

Dear Friend,

I was a missionary in Mumbai for over a year. My Ant People Soul Safari™ saved more Indian souls than all other crusades from the death of Christ on. So, please, don't paint everyone you encounter with one brush.

Yours in Him,
BAB

[vikram]

Re: Greetings to fellow humans,

Dear Friend,

I was a missionary in Mumbai for over a year. My Ant People Soul Safari™ saved more Indian souls than all other crusades from the death of Christ on. So, please, don't paint everyone you encounter with one brush.

Yours in Him,
BAB

whats that ?

[Born Again Bob]

Re: Greetings to fellow humans,

whats that ?

Dear Friend,

Glad you asked!

Morning at the Ant People Soul Safari in Bombay, India.


Brother Gurudas gets started on what's sure to be a busy day..


My hearty thanks to all the people from LBC who visited for the BBQ -- from Platinum Tithers all the way down to you Tin Wingers!


Whoops! Some sort of accident at the nearby temple to Ganesh! Well, these things happen.



A few uninvited guests. Thankfully, almost all of my True Christian™ friends from back home brought their Second Amendment-authorized sidearms with them to India!


You go, girl! IN YOUR FACE, local religious beliefs! IN...YOUR...FACE!

BAB

[Born Again Bob]

Re: Greetings to fellow humans,

More on the Ant People Soul Safari™, at request of our friend Vikram... this chapter was entitled "Keeping Up With the Catholics":

Dear Friends,

Did you know that Mother Theresa's organization here in Bombay uses torture to attain their phenomenal success?

Mother Theresa's Nuns Accused of Torture (BBC)

I gotta get less soft-hearted with these savages!

***

Some golden oldies of Christian technique:


PEAR TORTURE --perfect for that unrepentant sinner's most offendiing orifice! Just insert and E-X-P-A-N-D the razor-sharp wings!




THE JUDAS CRADLE -- Say Uncle to Jesus or get skewered from below!




SCALDING HOT IRON MASK -- life of revolting disfigurement (think Scarface, literally) or Eternal Life with Jesus -- not a hard choice!

Christian Conversion Techniques -- please ignore the snotty and anti-Christian attitude of the author -- won't he be surprised after death when he finds out Satan has read his manual! Heathens never understand that there are more important things than temporary physical comfort -- like, say, eternal salvation!

***

I have, however, had a lot of success with the following technique:

When people first come to the Ant People Soul Safari for medicine, Brother Gurudas leads them in a prayer to their local Hindu diety (with his fingers crossed of course), and then we give them placebos. When they come back complaining that the medicine doesn't work, we have them pray to JESUS and then give them the real medicine! The take-home message, of course, is that JESUS has power, and the elephant-horse-fish gods don't! When the dotties come back a third and subsequent time, they ALWAYS chose to pray to Jesus!

Yours in Him,
BAB

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: Greetings to fellow humans,

BAB did you notice what the catylicker church would lose if they can't find this errant nun?

Did you know that Mother Theresa's organization here in Bombay uses torture to attain their phenomenal success?

Mother Theresa's Nuns Accused of Torture (BBC)

I gotta get less soft-hearted with these savages!

They will be out all of $110 dollars bail money! I am sure the pope is looking into this issue personally as we all know how much he believes in co-operating with secular law officials as we are all instructed in the BIBLE to do!

Romans 13:4 For he is the minister of God to thee for good. But if thou do that which is evil, be afraid; for he beareth not the sword in vain: for he is the minister of God, a revenger to execute wrath upon him that doeth evil.
Titus 3:1 Put them in mind to be subject to principalities and powers, to obey magistrates, to be ready to every good work,

1st Peter 2:13 Submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord's sake: whether it be to the king, as supreme;
1st Peter 2:14 Or unto governors, as unto them that are sent by him for the punishment of evildoers, and for the praise of them that do well.
1st Peter 2:15 For so is the will of God, that with well doing ye may put to silence the ignorance of foolish men:

[Bible Student]

Re: Greetings to fellow humans,

Originally Posted by Zechariah Smyth
A good dose of the KJV and a hot shower wouldn't be a bad start.



YiC,

Z. Smyth

its so simple huh ?

Did you gloss over the word START?

[vikram]

Re: Greetings to fellow humans,

Did you gloss over the word START?

one min you are unsaved, the next min you are his. the start itself signifies the end. such basic mistakes you make dear friend !!

[Bible Student]

Re: Greetings to fellow humans,

Originally Posted by Bible Student
Did you gloss over the word START?

one min you are unsaved, the next min you are his. the start itself signifies the end. such basic mistakes you make dear friend !!

You should not be smoking opiates.

[loveis..]

Re: Greetings to fellow humans,

you saved trash know so less about india and most other countries. sad. i wanted to become one of you, but you disappoint me.

Trust me when i say this.. you dont want to be one of these people on here they do not represent Christians.. they are far from it... trust me when i say this these people are not right in the head... im here to warn people who come to these sites about the people in here... they are rude crude and way out of line when they talk. but at the end of the day they make me laugh!!

[Dutch Girl]

Re: Greetings to fellow humans,

Trust me when i say this.. you dont want to be one of these people on here they do not represent Christians.. they are far from it... trust me when i say this these people are not right in the head.

They are crazy alright. But unfortunately all their crap is indeed in their precious little Bible. They love book burnings, so I have a suggestion though.

[loveis..]

Re: Greetings to fellow humans,

They are crazy alright. But unfortunately all their crap is indeed in their precious little Bible. They love book burnings, so I have a suggestion though.

they twist the bible scripture to their liking!!! they beat their wives and judge people on their race and they think its ok to go kill someone that they think is a bad person in their eyes.. but again i say at the end of the day i get a good laugh and i sleep just fine!

[Dutch Girl]

Re: Greetings to fellow humans,

they twist the bible scripture to their liking!!!

Really? Every time I click on their links what they say is in the Bible is indeed actually in the Bible. I am amazed people can read all those horrible things and then still believe it is all true.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Greetings to fellow humans,

Really? Every time I click on their links what they say is in the Bible is indeed actually in the Bible.

I see that "loveis.." has got an award — AND still doesn't get it, that these teachings are God's Word, not the ravings of some psycho epileptic demoniac or the DMT induced sex nightmare she is so familiar with!


@loveis.. God's plan for our salvation includes deliverance from those demonic states. We didn't think it up, as Miss Girl well knows, and it is lovely to see her reading The Bible we all pray that He touches her soon.

[Jack O'fagan]

Re: Greetings to fellow humans,

they twist the bible scripture to their liking!!! they beat their wives and judge people on their race and they think its ok to go kill someone that they think is a bad person in their eyes.. but again i say at the end of the day i get a good laugh and i sleep just fine!

Landover Baptist Church is the only place you will find where the Bible is not twisted for someones liking. Almost all Christians outside of our Church have a twisted incorrect view of the Bible. This is because they have not read it. They are lazy and just rely on second hand information, they are being duped. One day they will be judged.

Not 'in their eyes', in God's eyes.