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Good morning Brothers & Sisters:
Once again I find myself plagued with sleeplessness...the adversary whispering sweet nothings into one ear whilst a chorus of seraphim shout scripture into the other. Praise Jesus that the righteous bellowing of Angels usually drowns out satan's filthy pillow-talk...but it leaves me on edge sometimes, and unable to find blessed respite at the end of the day.
However, it does give me an opportunity to ponder on some obscure mysteries. One puzzle that is foremost on my mind is that of The Savior's bathroom habits, or lack thereof...
We all know that Christ is a male, and therefore has been endowed by His Father, God, with a mighty, unblemished phallus...the likes of which the world has never seen and never will see, a perfect rod of guidance, comfort and correction pointing ever upward toward the Kingdom of Heaven as the unwavering needle of His moral compass, the terminal end shining with Glory, encircled with a halo of it's own. But I digress...
The point being that Jesus, as a male, has a pecker. Now I ask my self, what is a pecker used for? Well, among True Christians, the organ is only used for seeding one's wife, and urinating. Both of these activities usually involve the handling of the pecker, however briefly...which is both distasteful and unsanitary, and a prelude to masturbation. Which brings me once again to the point:
God would never disgrace His Only Begotten Son by putting Him in a position where He would have to fiddle around with His own johnson. Neither would God allow His child to experience such abominations as defecation, or wiping the filth from His backside with His own healing hand! God would never do that to Jesus! How could Jesus cure lepers or cast out demons with dung under His fingernails? Unthinkable!
The Bible refers several times to Christ's consumption of foodstuffs, and to his drinking of liquids...but nowhere, I repeat NOWHERE does it mention Him fouling Himself like a common sinner. It would be a neat trick for satan, trying to make people envision Jesus with his robe all hiked up, squatting over a hole in the sand, eyes squinted, face red, tears streaming down His cheeks, straining to purge himself of a weeks worth of compacted stool...but that's not even hinted at in the Bible.
So, we are left with only one conclusion: Immaculate Bowel/Bladder Evacuation.
If God could impregnate Mary (and He did) without the introduction of His Penis, then certainly He, the creator of earth, Heaven & hell, could easily spare His Beloved Son the indignity of spewing urine and fecal matter all over creation, Amen? A snap of God's fingers and -BAM!!!-, off to oblivion with no fuss or muss!
I
Once again I find myself plagued with sleeplessness...the adversary whispering sweet nothings into one ear whilst a chorus of seraphim shout scripture into the other. Praise Jesus that the righteous bellowing of Angels usually drowns out satan's filthy pillow-talk...but it leaves me on edge sometimes, and unable to find blessed respite at the end of the day.
However, it does give me an opportunity to ponder on some obscure mysteries. One puzzle that is foremost on my mind is that of The Savior's bathroom habits, or lack thereof...
We all know that Christ is a male, and therefore has been endowed by His Father, God, with a mighty, unblemished phallus...the likes of which the world has never seen and never will see, a perfect rod of guidance, comfort and correction pointing ever upward toward the Kingdom of Heaven as the unwavering needle of His moral compass, the terminal end shining with Glory, encircled with a halo of it's own. But I digress...
The point being that Jesus, as a male, has a pecker. Now I ask my self, what is a pecker used for? Well, among True Christians, the organ is only used for seeding one's wife, and urinating. Both of these activities usually involve the handling of the pecker, however briefly...which is both distasteful and unsanitary, and a prelude to masturbation. Which brings me once again to the point:
God would never disgrace His Only Begotten Son by putting Him in a position where He would have to fiddle around with His own johnson. Neither would God allow His child to experience such abominations as defecation, or wiping the filth from His backside with His own healing hand! God would never do that to Jesus! How could Jesus cure lepers or cast out demons with dung under His fingernails? Unthinkable!
The Bible refers several times to Christ's consumption of foodstuffs, and to his drinking of liquids...but nowhere, I repeat NOWHERE does it mention Him fouling Himself like a common sinner. It would be a neat trick for satan, trying to make people envision Jesus with his robe all hiked up, squatting over a hole in the sand, eyes squinted, face red, tears streaming down His cheeks, straining to purge himself of a weeks worth of compacted stool...but that's not even hinted at in the Bible.
So, we are left with only one conclusion: Immaculate Bowel/Bladder Evacuation.
If God could impregnate Mary (and He did) without the introduction of His Penis, then certainly He, the creator of earth, Heaven & hell, could easily spare His Beloved Son the indignity of spewing urine and fecal matter all over creation, Amen? A snap of God's fingers and -BAM!!!-, off to oblivion with no fuss or muss!
I
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