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  • #1

    The USA World Defence Pricelist, Trump edition.

    Dear Friends,

    I was hard to keep my joy over God smashing that ungodly Clinton under control. Evils like women's rights, abortion and foreigners can now become faint memories of our dark past. White Christian Republicans can take their rightful place once again, at the top. Against all liberal media predictions, Americans have voted for the underdog. The white Republican Christian middle-aged heterosexual billionair underdog has won against all odds. Clearly God was on his side.

    People living in Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania got a bit worried though. They falsely understood The Donald's statement that under his administration the United States would not automatically defend the Baltic states from Russia if they were invaded. They seem to think this means America will no longer protect them, but that is not what Donald Trump said. He said the U.S.A. will no longer do it automatically. If the Baltic states do what they should have been doing already since 1991, pay America protection money, Donald Trump will gladly skip golfing or opening new hotels for a moment to command our army to send some nukes.

    Being one of Trump's trusted advisors myself, I started working on a USA World Defence Pricelist to take away these misunderstandings:

    BASIC.: $250 per inhabitant per month (includes threatening tweets by Donald Trump himself if Russia decides to invade)
    DELUXE: $350 per inhabitant per month (includes a meeting between Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin in case of a successful invasion where Donald will use his art of the deal skills)
    GOLD..: $900 per inhabitant per month (includes threatening flights by American airplanes, bombs can be purchased for $900.000 each and have to be paid in advance)

    Of course Donald Trump will always do what is in the best interest of America as he has promised during his campaign and repeated during his acceptance speech. So if Russia is prepared to pay more than Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania then America will gladly help Russia to get those Russia hating terrorists under control to make Russia great again.



    Yours in Christ,

    Pastor J.C. Manning, M.D., Ph.D.
    How to Study the Bible - About HELL! - The Miracles of Jesus - Biblical Facts - Scientific PROOF

    THE BIBLE SAYS THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY TO HEAVEN!
    Jesus said: "I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me." John 14:6

    ONLY JESUS CAN SAVE YOU!

    "That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus,
    and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him
    from the dead, thou shalt be saved." Romans 10:9

    1. Admit you are a worthless sinner. Romans 3:10
    2. Be willing to turn from sin (repent). Acts 17:30
    3. Believe that Jesus Christ died for you, was buried and
    rose from the dead. Romans 10:9-10
    4. Through prayer, invite Jesus into your life to become
    your personal Savior, Boss, King and Lord. Romans 10:13
    		What to Pray:

    Lord Jesus, I know that I have sinned against you.
    I know that I am not perfect and that I can never
    please you through my own efforts. I know that I
    deserve to be judged according to my sins. And, I
    know that I have absolutely nothing to offer you.

    Lord Jesus, I ask you to forgive me. I do not rely
    on myself but only on you and I receive you as
    Lord of my life and as savior of my soul.
    Lord Jesus, please save me!
    		Accepted Jesus as your Savior?
    Now you need to:

    1. Study your KJV Bible every day
    to get to know Christ better.
    2. Talk to God in prayer every day.
    3. Be baptized, worship, fellowship,
    and serve with other Christians
    in a church where Christ is preached,
    and the Bible is the final authority.
    4. Tell others about Jesus Christ
    until the day Jesus finally kills you.
    Tags: putin, russia, trumpocalypse now
  • #2
    Re: The USA World Defence Pricelist, Trump edition.

    Thank you, Pastor! I'm not one to follow politics, as it does not matter to me one whit what goes on on this earth around me (Romans 12:2). My home is in Heaven (Philippians 3:20). However, as a keeper of Mr. Etheldreda's home (Titus 2:5), I do know about budgeting, and this sounds perfectly reasonable. Thank you for sharing.
    Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: The USA World Defence Pricelist, Trump edition.

      Pastor Manning, Sir, my husband has asked me to post here re this:
      Originally posted by Pastor J.C. Manning, M.D., Ph.D. View Post
      GOLD:$900 per inhabitant per month (includes threatening flights by American airplanes, bombs can be purchased for $900,000 each and have to be paid in advance)
      Message follows:

      "J.C.! Long time no see! My people may be able to help with your margins there. We have certain items that the Saudites rejected - who knows whether they work or not, but if the Litvaks are paying in advance, who cares?
      Give me a call!
      YiC,
      Matt"

      (Dictated by Matthew Lytton-Vasey and signed in his absence,
      Joanna Lytton-Vasey)
      Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: The USA World Defence Pricelist, Trump edition.

        That's a great start there Pastor, and I'm sure that once Donald (a graduate of the Wharton School of Finance) reviews it there will be no problems (it does seem modest to me, but I'm not acquainted with Actuarial science when it comes to insurance policies of this kind).

        I would like the Donald to consider the use of nuclear weapons. Aside from draining the swamp, we need to get our financial house in order after years of Obama's profligate deficit spending. Our nuclear arsenal is years old, completely paid for and probably completely depreciated at this point in time. Further, it is my understanding that these weapons have a "shelf life" - sort of like AA and D cell batteries. Beyond a certain point they simply won't go off. We would get more "bang for the buck" financially if we used these things up before we have to throw them out.
        Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
        brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
        ...and get off my lawn
        sigpic

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