Australian Writer falsely Called Fat, Plain, Brilliant

[Granny June]

From the Desk of
GRANNY JUNE
Office Temp and #1 Volunteer for Christ

NEWSFLASH: swirling upset in book circles bcause 1 paper slandered [my favorite] lady authoress . I am putting donation jar on my desk on Monday so it can be corrected – Thornbirds my #1 fave book and this is slap in face to all beloved readers.

Classy Australian Obituary Calls ‘Thorn Birds’ Author Fat, Ugly, National Treasure


So here’s a tip for obituary writers: If you’re writing a big piece on one of your country’s most famous writers, and it’s going to run under the headline “A TRUE NATIONAL TREASURE,” you just might not want to lead off your remembrance by calling said author a plain-looking fatty:





That’s how Rupert Murdoch’s paper The Australian remembered Colleen McCullough, author of the ultrasupermega bestseller The Thorn Birds and arguably Australia’s best-known writer (go ahead, try to name another Australian novelist), who died this week.

After all, if you’re going to memorialize a much-loved lady writer, the main thing you want to focus on is her dress size. Oh, and then eventually you can get to the stuff about her successful career as a neuroscientist and how she started writing novels at 40, managed an international best-seller with her second book, and was incidentally named one of Australia’s “100 National Living Treasures.”

"I did not realize that this was how we were doing obituary ledes, now," The Washington Post wrote. "Now that I know, here are some obituaries for men, updated lest we fall behind the new standard. Teddy Roosevelt: Resembling a fat walrus in little spectacles, he was, nevertheless, president at one point or another."

[Jim Farmer]

Re: Australian Writer falsely Called Fat, Plain, Brilliant


No scripture?
And read the Bible, not that secularist rubbish
And when you're not reading the Bible, you should be working on cleaning up that backlog.

[Granny June]

Re: Australian Writer falsely Called Fat, Plain, Brilliant

From the Desk of
GRANNY JUNE
Office Temp and #1 Volunteer for Christ

No scripture?

You been against me from day1 prolly because you were one of Miss Cookie's favorites well she is gone now. As they say: "Cookie isn't here Mrs. Torrance"

but I hope this makes you happy think about it


(insert scripture here)


Proverbs 31:10 virtuous woman...her price is above rubies.

And when you're not reading the Bible, you should be working on cleaning up that backlog.

Because I am older than you doesn't mean i am incontenent stop spreading your rumors

[Jim Farmer]

Re: Australian Writer falsely Called Fat, Plain, Brilliant

Get back to work woman!
No more about secular movies, OK?
One of these days, Cookie will be back, and I don't think she will be happy.
And don't leave those used incontinence diapers in her desk!

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Australian Writer falsely Called Fat, Plain, Brilliant

Dearest Granny,

While I appreciate your advanced age and pray for a rapid cure for your advancing senility, I must also warn you against this fictional story 'Thorn Birds'. Obviously, I had NEVER heard of it before but I've now used many hours investigating the matter. It turns out the book was based on a television series about papism.



That is not necessarily a bad thing. It could be most useful to discuss papist viles in the open, although very little could be actually shown visually, as it would be bad taste to show hours and hours of catamite rape in prime time TV. And, frankly, what else is there in papism? Oh yes, idolatry!

Leviticus 19:4
Turn ye not unto idols, nor make to yourselves molten gods: I am the LORD your God.

The cast. Mediocre. The male protagonist is played by Neville Chamberlain. He was usually quite unsuccessful in his attempts.



The plot. Unconvincing. A papist priest who becomes a papist cardinal loves a girl (did they really think anyone would buy this). They fornicate and produce a possessed baby. Later the papist dies while the woman gives him oral gratification.



The hidden message. Papist men are supposedly real men with natural urges. This is poorly hidden propaganda. Exactly the thing that allures elderly less educated women. They think that a good enough woman can heal a papist to become straight. Only Jesus can do that mediated by a True Christian™ baptist pastor. While the mission of a woman to cure papist homers is laudable, it inevitably leads to fornication. Jesus weeps.

Matthew 10:8
Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out devils: freely ye have received, freely give.

Verily, the Bible is much more exciting than this travesty of a critical discussion about papism!

Judges 16:1
Then went Samson to Gaza, and saw there an harlot, and went in unto her.



Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Australian Writer falsely Called Fat, Plain, Brilliant

Also, that actor who played the priest - I forget his name, Richard Something-or-other - is of the homer persuasion.

[Jim Farmer]

Re: Australian Writer falsely Called Fat, Plain, Brilliant

Every time I see this thread title, I'm reminded of someone. Well not the Australian bit, not the writer bit, and definitely not the brilliant bit. Now, I wonder who that might be?

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Australian Writer falsely Called Fat, Plain, Brilliant

Granny, if you're in the market for a good story, might I suggest a wholesome one like Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles? I like it because it redeems Satan's favorite literature and turns the tables on his lies and brings souls to Christ instead.

[Jim Farmer]

Re: Australian Writer falsely Called Fat, Plain, Brilliant

When my servants want a book other than the King James Bible to fill their shallow minds, especially a soppy romance, I insist that all the crappy fiction they read is endorsed with

At least, with that, there is less chance of corrupting their minds.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Australian Writer falsely Called Fat, Plain, Brilliant

This Thorn Birds business sounds like garbage.

There is one, and exactly one, work of fiction that's come out of Australia that is worth experiencing.



I like it because it depicts a future in which there are no taxes and no burdensome government regulations getting in the way of how people live their lives and run their small businesses.

Kind of gives you something to hope for.