ATTENTION: Appropriate names for inappropriate body parts

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Too often when unsaved trash come here to persecute we True Christians™ who are only trying to mind our own business, they will use crass language to describe human body parts. For the most part, they do this to try and shock us with their tastelessness and there's nothing much we can do about that except pray for them and give them infractions. But some of them may be honestly ignorant on the subject and feel it's okay to post these words on a family-oriented message board like this.
Because of this, I feel it's about time to provide a list of words and phrases that are relatively safe to use - if you must mention them at all. Keep in mind that any mention of unmentionable areas of the body automatically comes with a PG rating, so parents, please discuss this with your children before and after you let them read this, if you choose to let them read it at all.

The male part below the belt in front
Tallywacker
The Godly seed provider
Launch tube for Future Soldiers for Christ

The female part below the belt in front
Cooter (if you must)
The little cavern of sin
Womb for Jesus

The female parts on the chest
Sin pillows
Eve's chest apples
Puffy parts
Chesticular naughty parts

The part on both sexes below the belt in back
The filthy sit-on
The narrow path to Hell
Spanking zone (for women's posteriors only, and only to be used by husbands or fathers)
Little France

This list will be updated as needed, but please remember there could be children reading!

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: ATTENTION: Appropriate names for inappropriate body parts

Too often when unsaved trash come here to persecute we True Christians™ who are only trying to mind our own business, they will use crass language to describe human body parts. For the most part, they do this to try and shock us with their tastelessness and there's nothing much we can do about that except pray for them and give them infractions. But some of them may be honestly ignorant on the subject and feel it's okay to post these words on a family-oriented message board like this.

There is no such thing as an inappropriate or unmentionable body part.

Because of this, I feel it's about time to provide a list of words and phrases that are relatively safe to use - if you must mention them at all. Keep in mind that any mention of unmentionable areas of the body automatically comes with a PG rating, so parents, please discuss this with your children before and after you let them read this, if you choose to let them read it at all.

Children have those parts - they should lnow the proper names for them, and should not be made to feel ashamed of them.

The male part below the belt in front
*filth*

The female part below the belt in front
*filth*

The female parts on the chest
*filth* (men have them as well - theirs just aren't functional)

The part on both sexes below the belt in back
*filth*

This list will be updated as needed, but please remember there could be children reading!

Teach your children to loe their bodis, not be ashamed of them!

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: ATTENTION: Appropriate names for inappropriate body parts

There is no such thing as an inappropriate or unmentionable body part.

Of course there is! I just said there were and I wouldn't have said if if there weren't!

Teach your children to loe their bodis, not be ashamed of them!

If I interpreted your poor grasp of American correctly... you'd just love that, wouldn't you, trollop? "That's okay, children. Don't be ashamed of your bodies. Here, let Auntie Old Iron Crotch help you out of those uncomfortable clothes." YOU SICKEN ME, YOU PERVERTED MONSTER!!!!

[Off Base]

Re: ATTENTION: Appropriate names for inappropriate body parts

If I interpreted your poor grasp of American correctly... you'd just love that, wouldn't you, trollop? "That's okay, children. Don't be ashamed of your bodies. Here, let Auntie Old Iron Crotch help you out of those uncomfortable clothes." YOU SICKEN ME, YOU PERVERTED MONSTER!!!!

My guess is, no, you did NOT interprete that comment correctly.

I understand modesty and social norms but I am not ashamed of my body (other than wanting to loose 10lbs or so, but most women want to loose a little weight, right?)

There is a wide range of difference between loving your body and showing it off to anyone who asks.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: ATTENTION: Appropriate names for inappropriate body parts

You can't even spell "lose" correctly and you reject Jesus! How do you expect anyone to take anything else you have to say seriously? You can go "love your body" all you want, if you don't mind burning in Hell. Personally, I leave the loving of my body to my Godly husband, Mr. Whitford.

[Warrior of God]

Re: ATTENTION: Appropriate names for inappropriate body parts

Sister, we also use some references for situations and moments that arise when a reference is needed that is pretty much entirely negative, and by it's very nature demonstrates the downside of the 'item' in question.
Thus, at any time we have had a member of our
small congregation who seemed sidetracked by certain appendages, be they male or female,
the series of reorientation lectures would refer to

The male part below the belt in front

as Satan's Tool.../ Tool of Satan / Hell's Harpoon

or
the Devil's Snake.

The female front lower...

as The Hellish Chasm
or
the Wound of Eve

Female Upper Front

the hillls of Hell

or

Damnation Valley


In this way we can emphasise that their interest has not been of the nature devised or intended by God. The very reference underlines that the appendage can have a detrimental roole with male or female believers who succumb to weakness or enhanced appetites.
They are left in no doubt as to the dark pitfalls that slavery to the libido can incur.
There are a few whom have tried to render the references as some smutty inuuendo filled sniifgger-fest.. I fiind doublinng heir requiremennt for reorientation sessions usually cures them.
There are other terms... But , I just wanted to indicate the manner in which we gear the refences to suit the useage.

I hope this was of some use.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: ATTENTION: Appropriate names for inappropriate body parts

Thank you, Mr. Warrior. Those are great names for vile parts that I'm sure many True Christian(tm) fathers will put to soul-saving use when they rebuke the demons of fornication out of their strumpet teenage daughters who don't think it's "cool" to wait for marriage.

[Off Base]

Re: ATTENTION: Appropriate names for inappropriate body parts

Thank you, Mr. Warrior. Those are great names for vile parts that I'm sure many True Christian™ fathers will put to soul-saving use when they rebuke the demons of fornication out of their strumpet teenage daughters who don't think it's "cool" to wait for marriage.

Do you mean like Sarah Palins' daughter?

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: ATTENTION: Appropriate names for inappropriate body parts

Why are you so hateful?

[Off Base]

Re: ATTENTION: Appropriate names for inappropriate body parts

Why are you so hateful?

How is that hateful?

Sarah Palins' daughter didn't think it was "cool" to wait until marriage for sex. She didn't even think it was "cool" to wait until marriage to have children and even people in the secular community think it's a good idea to wait until you have a stable home life to start having children.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: ATTENTION: Appropriate names for inappropriate body parts

It's hateful because you're obviously one of those misogynists who attack Vice President Palin's personal life when you have nothing of substance to go after her on the issues.

[SUV]

Re: ATTENTION: Appropriate names for inappropriate body parts

Also, there are hands which, when idle, become "The Devil's Playground"

[Bob4God]

Re: ATTENTION: Appropriate names for inappropriate body parts

These are some of the terms that I teach my youth group kids to use instead of the sinful secular names they've been taught in secular school.

MALE UNMENTIONABLE BELOW THE BELT ON THE FRONT

Pee-Pee (Excellent for younger kids in the 4-14 bracket)

Hosea (Suggested by our Godly Brother in Christ Edward Current)

The Carrot of Promiscuity (I've always felt slightly uncomfortable with this one. Afterall, it's usually girls that have trouble with being promiscuous, amen?)

MALE UNMENTIONABLE PARTS BELOW THE BELT AND BENEATH THE MALE UNMENTIONABLE ON THE FRONT

Stones (Biblically accurate and acceptable)

Secrets (Can apply to other parts, but is Biblical)

Unborn Christian Soldiers' Barracks (Excellent when discussing the sacredness of life)


FEMALE UNMENTIONABLE PART BELOW THE BELT ON THE FRONT

Baby Cave (Fitting and accurate)

Pit of Despond (May cause unnatural and perverted fantasies of slopping about in girly juices within the minds of boys)

Taco Salad (Taught to me by grandpa Fore. I still remember the twinkle in his precious eyes!)


FEMALE UNMENTIONABLES ON THE CHEST

Anthills (Again, good for younger ears)

Dairy Farms (May cause perverted association while dining at Dairy Queen)

Flowers (May cause perverted association while being in a park)


BACKSIDE UNMENTIONABLE

Rectum (Pastor Deacon Fred used it in a sermon, so it's probably okay for those strong in faith)

Lucifer's Doughnut (May cause perverted association in the minds of law enforcement officials)

Democratic National Convention (Self-Explanatory)

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: ATTENTION: Appropriate names for inappropriate body parts

R****m (Pastor Deacon Fred used it in a sermon, so it's probably okay for those strong in faith)

Some good choices there, Brother Bob, but this one worries me. Pastor Deacon Fred is stronger with God than anyone else I've ever met, so it's good for him, but I'd hesitate anyone beneath Gold Tither status using it. Maybe a Silver Tither if they're in the higher levels of the bracket. It's certainly too rough for any decent lady to use though no matter what her tithing status (I'm Platinum and even I had to blank it out as you see in the quote). The only women I could see using it are whores and Demoncrats.

[Nobar King]

Re: ATTENTION: Appropriate names for inappropriate body parts

I remember when I was a child the women would refer to 'it' as a 'pee-pee hose'. That seems to make sense.