The Landover Baptist Church
Like us or burn

Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > General Church Fellowship

General Church Fellowship A place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 02-05-2007, 12:24 PM
Rev. Dr. Davidson's Avatar
Rev. Dr. Davidson Rev. Dr. Davidson is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts 

Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Twenty minutes from hell- I mean Washington DC
Posts: 1,440
Rev. Dr. Davidson is a True Christian™Rev. Dr. Davidson is a True Christian™Rev. Dr. Davidson is a True Christian™Rev. Dr. Davidson is a True Christian™Rev. Dr. Davidson is a True Christian™Rev. Dr. Davidson is a True Christian™Rev. Dr. Davidson is a True Christian™Rev. Dr. Davidson is a True Christian™Rev. Dr. Davidson is a True Christian™Rev. Dr. Davidson is a True Christian™Rev. Dr. Davidson is a True Christian™
Default Basic words to forum by

This is something I’ve seen in numerous threads, but somehow keeps getting ignored. We ask so little of new members, but they seem to lash out at anyone and everything. Here’s a few guidelines for you newbies.

1: Be civil in your posts.
2: Please ask questions in proper English. This means to use proper punctuation, grammar, and capitalize.
3: Don’t verbally attack anyone else in the forums. Some people are actually here to learn how to be True Christians™.
4: Don’t assume you are right. Chances are that you are only spouting what you think is right because some homer told you it was.
5: Keep an open mind. If you are easily offended, there are forums that cater to you. We suggest that you go there.
6: If you don’t agree, please post your response intelligently. Remember that you catch more flies with honey.
7: If you don’t like what you see, you can always leave. This is a forum for True Christians™, and we didn’t ask you to be here. You chose to come.
8: When in doubt, ask one of our Godly pastors or moderators.
9: Please use the “search” function. Chances are that you’re posting the same thing as a hundred people before you. Please look for a thread that is relevant.
10: Again, if you disagree, you have the option of leaving instead of attacking all the True Christians™ in these forums.
11: Vote Republican as any God fearing True Christian™ would.
12: It is best to keep your mouth shut (or your fingers still) when you don’t know for sure. Again, either ask nicely or keep silence.
__________________
"If thou buy an Hebrew servant, six years he shall serve: and in the seventh he shall go out free for nothing. . . . And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the manservant's do."
(Leviticus 21:6-7)
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 02-05-2007, 12:56 PM
Mrs. Mary Whitford's Avatar
Mrs. Mary Whitford Mrs. Mary Whitford is offline
Ladies of Landover Senior VP
One of the Truest Christians™ Ever
Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
True Christian™

Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 3rd class Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Cleanest Kitchen True Christian Lady True Heterosexual™ Platinum Tither Ribfest '07 True Christian Homemaker Ex-Mary Worshipper Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS TC Bravery Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Friend of Jesus Most Obedient Mrs. Sarah Palin Lady of the Year 2010 Flat Earth Mission to Australia Mama Grizzly Persecuted Pro-Life The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Batman Shooting Survivor Guns, Guts and GLORY! Kirk Cameron Fan Club The Lord’s Witness Wound Early riser Proud Niglet Sponsorer Home Schooled Jailed for JESUS Paula Deen Negro Support Group 

Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Standing behind my husband
Posts: 12,511
Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Basic words to forum by

Amen, Brother.
__________________
Posted via Prayer

1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

Blogging for CHRIST!
Witnessing for GOD on YouTube!
All a-Twitter for Salvation!
Bringing Jesus to MySpace!
On FIRE for the Lord on Facebook!
My Ladies of Landover profile!
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 02-05-2007, 01:18 PM
Rev. Dr. Davidson's Avatar
Rev. Dr. Davidson Rev. Dr. Davidson is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts 

Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Twenty minutes from hell- I mean Washington DC
Posts: 1,440
Rev. Dr. Davidson is a True Christian™Rev. Dr. Davidson is a True Christian™Rev. Dr. Davidson is a True Christian™Rev. Dr. Davidson is a True Christian™Rev. Dr. Davidson is a True Christian™Rev. Dr. Davidson is a True Christian™Rev. Dr. Davidson is a True Christian™Rev. Dr. Davidson is a True Christian™Rev. Dr. Davidson is a True Christian™Rev. Dr. Davidson is a True Christian™Rev. Dr. Davidson is a True Christian™
Default Re: Basic words to forum by

I would also ask that our Godly pastors and moderators feel free to add to this. These were just my first thoughts.
__________________
"If thou buy an Hebrew servant, six years he shall serve: and in the seventh he shall go out free for nothing. . . . And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the manservant's do."
(Leviticus 21:6-7)
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 02-06-2007, 12:44 AM
Pastor Isaac Peters's Avatar
Pastor Isaac Peters Pastor Isaac Peters is offline
Senior Pastor
Creator of JesOS™
Always Biblically correct
 

1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Publisher's Choice True Heterosexual™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Tithing Manager Christian Love Ex-Mary Worshipper Long service medal, 2nd class Senior Pastor Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture Ex-liberal True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork Outreach preacher True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 13706 Levite's Sojourn Terr., Gibeah Hill, Freehold, Iowa
Posts: 9,937
Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Basic words to forum by

Thank you, Brother. I pray that the hellbound trash will see the undeniable wisdom of your advice. Now, I'd like to add a few things:

13. We don't take your word for what God wants. We take God's word for what He wants, as given to us in the Holy King James Bible. When you tell us what you think God wants, be sure to back it up with direct quotations from Scripture, giving chapter and verse.
14. Don't just tell us that we are wrong. If you are so sure that we are wrong, try showing us, using God's Word (see #13). You might just learn something yourself.
15. Our holy faith is based solidly on Scripture, which is given by inspiration of God (II Timothy 3:16). If what we say offends you, then you're offended by God, not by us.
__________________
This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 02-12-2007, 03:21 AM
Father Maurice Lester's Avatar
Father Maurice Lester Father Maurice Lester is offline
Ring-kissing Papist dog
 

Hellbound Heathen Cancer on Society True Heterosexual™ Cathlick 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Vatican City...where we keep the good stuff!
Posts: 2,984
Father Maurice Lester Father Maurice Lester Father Maurice Lester Father Maurice Lester Father Maurice Lester Father Maurice Lester Father Maurice Lester Father Maurice Lester Father Maurice Lester Father Maurice Lester Father Maurice Lester
Default Re: Basic words to forum by

...........

16. The number of teeth the average Landovarian has in their mouth.

17. The average age a Landovarian marries their sibling.

18. The number of Landovarians who haven't failed an IQ test!

19. The number of Landovarians yet to be indicted for internet fraud. (see paypal button below!)

20. The number of the last twenty Popes who went straight to Heaven! HELL!



Bless you, my lunatic fringers,
Father Mo
__________________
Vatican emissary to these Banjo and Britney Baptwits


Last edited by OnYourKnees; 02-13-2007 at 05:55 PM. Reason: Typographical error corrected
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 02-12-2007, 03:28 AM
Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.'s Avatar
Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. is offline
Scientific Advisor
True Christian™

1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Publisher's Choice True Christian™ Saved 1 Year Silver Tither True Heterosexual™ Ex-Gay True Scientist™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Tell her once True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Flat Earth Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Landover Baptist University for the Saved, Corridor 17C
Posts: 2,340
Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Basic words to forum by

Ignoring Father Mo's drivel...

16. If a woman, obtain written documentation of your husband's (or, failing that, father's) permission to be here.
17. Understand that the path to Heaven is long and hard. No one ever claimed that living for Jesus was easy. You are best off following any edicts given by a Pastor, and following them to the letter.
18. When quoting the Bible, ensure that it is from the only Bible endorsed by God Himself, the 1611 King James Version. Any other version will be edited/deleted.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 02-21-2007, 01:23 AM
WickedWitch's Avatar
WickedWitch WickedWitch is offline
Unsaved Canuck Who Longs to be Saved©
CAUTION: Poster is Bi-Lingually curious
Forum Member

Hellbound Heathen Cancer on Society 

Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In a house made of watermelons, in Canada
Posts: 1,295
WickedWitch is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.WickedWitch is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.WickedWitch is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.WickedWitch is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.WickedWitch is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.WickedWitch is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.WickedWitch is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.WickedWitch is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.WickedWitch is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.WickedWitch is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.WickedWitch is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Basic words to forum by

I know I'm not a True Christian™, and I'm a woman, but there's something I'd like to add to this list:

19. Don't spam. There's no point to making ridiculous threads like "YOU MUST ALL LIKE NASCAR" or "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU - HARRY POTTER ROX MY SOX!!11!1" or other such (retarded) things. If you're going to post the same thing over and over and over, you're going to be seriously disliked by everyone here. (And you'll probably end up being banned for being an annoyance.)
__________________
Inside my heart is breaking,
My makeup may be flaking,
But my smile still stays on.
The Show Must Go On
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 12-27-2007, 12:13 AM
tinfoil tinfoil is offline
Unsaved trash
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 39
tinfoil is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Basic words to forum by

So you don't think you have any rights? Just because of a translation passed down through a ton of generations that could have changed all they wanted? I think you people are seriously misguided superior Republicans. The last statement I do not mean as a compliment, seeing as they are responsible for lack of funding on Stem-Cell research, an unnescessary and futile war, and one of the most entertaining (yet stupid) presidents ever. I don't think I'm perfect, and I hope but don't necessary hold for certain that I will go to heaven, but I think most of these people are superior intolerant misguided sexists or blind sheep followers. I know you guys want to prevent me from going to hell, but I think if I followed instructions on this site, I'd get there pretty fast.
1. Go out and buy a gun sponsored by a Republican government official.
2. Find some people who might be gay.
3. Shoot them.
4. Burn.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 12-27-2007, 12:27 AM
SalvationSeeker's Avatar
SalvationSeeker SalvationSeeker is offline
True Christian™ Theologian
Forum Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 3,982
SalvationSeeker is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.SalvationSeeker is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.SalvationSeeker is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.SalvationSeeker is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.SalvationSeeker is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.SalvationSeeker is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.SalvationSeeker is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.SalvationSeeker is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.SalvationSeeker is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.SalvationSeeker is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.SalvationSeeker is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Basic words to forum by

Quote:
Originally Posted by tinioril View Post
I know you guys want to prevent me from going to hell, but I think if I followed instructions on this site, I'd get there pretty fast.
The instructions on how to avoid going to hell found on this site..
Can also be found in a little book called the Holy Bible.
Try reading it.
__________________
If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 12-27-2007, 12:34 AM
tinfoil tinfoil is offline
Unsaved trash
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 39
tinfoil is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Basic words to forum by

I read Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, The Gospels, and Revalation. I learned that I have to knock down walls with mildew on them. Do you do that? Oh, and have you heard of this thing called the Holocaust? Or the Spanish Inquisition? Or the Salem Witch Trials? All done in the name of God.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 12-27-2007, 12:43 AM
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Posts: 75,181
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Basic words to forum by

Quote:
Originally Posted by tinioril View Post
I read Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, The Gospels, and Revalation. I learned that I have to knock down walls with mildew on them. Do you do that? Oh, and have you heard of this thing called the Holocaust? Or the Spanish Inquisition? Or the Salem Witch Trials? All done in the name of God.
You have to become a True Christian™ before you can hope to understand the Holy Bible.

John 8:43 Why do ye not understand my speech? even because ye cannot hear my word. 8:44 Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it. 8:45 And because I tell you the truth, ye believe me not.

Also, try reading the entire Bible, not just the parts you like.
__________________
Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 12-27-2007, 12:45 AM
SalvationSeeker's Avatar
SalvationSeeker SalvationSeeker is offline
True Christian™ Theologian
Forum Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 3,982
SalvationSeeker is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.SalvationSeeker is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.SalvationSeeker is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.SalvationSeeker is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.SalvationSeeker is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.SalvationSeeker is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.SalvationSeeker is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.SalvationSeeker is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.SalvationSeeker is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.SalvationSeeker is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.SalvationSeeker is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Basic words to forum by

Quote:
Originally Posted by tinioril View Post
I read Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, The Gospels, and Revalation. I learned that I have to knock down walls with mildew on them. Do you do that?
Just what are you talking about?
There are but five verses in the KJV with the word mildew in them.
(And not a single one of them are in the books you mentioned.)
None of them mentions knocking down walls that have mildew on them.
So no.

Quote:
Oh, and have you heard of this thing called the Holocaust? Or the Spanish Inquisition? Or the Salem Witch Trials? All done in the name of God.
And you persecute us in the name of God;
Because The servants of satan can, and will, pretend to be servants of God.
Just look at the cathylicks.

As for witch trials..
If you've read Exodus, then most surely you know that witches are to be killed?
Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.
Exodus 22:18
__________________
If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 12-27-2007, 12:48 AM
VictoryOS's Avatar
VictoryOS VictoryOS is offline
True Christian™ Beauty Queen
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ True Christian Beauty True Christian Lady True Christian Homemaker True Heterosexual™ Best Pie Tin Tither Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Eats the Most Pork Christian Love Victory Over Sex True Republican Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior Kirk Cameron Fan Club Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus 

Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 3,949
VictoryOS will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!VictoryOS will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!VictoryOS will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!VictoryOS will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!VictoryOS will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!VictoryOS will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!VictoryOS will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!VictoryOS will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!VictoryOS will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!VictoryOS will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!VictoryOS will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Basic words to forum by

Friend, you can be Mr. Smarty-Pants all you want, but it doesn't change the fact that you're on the fast track to Hell. Instead of trying to find something clever to say (and missing the mark, I might add), maybe you should try to learn a thing or two while you're here.

In my younger days, I too was an Unsaved heathen. Why, I once woke up in a stranger's closet wearing a fur hat I'd never seen before in my life! I realize now that I was simply over-analyzing things. Thinking too much, if you will. That's the work of Satan. He puts seeds of doubt into your mind. My life really turned around once I stopped thinking with my brain and started thinking with the Bible. Everything you need to know is already sorted out for you in the pages of the Holy Book. So why bother?

He is the Rock, his work is perfect: for all his ways are judgment: a God of truth and without iniquity, just and right is he. (Deuteronomy 32:4)

Praise JESUS, tinioral, may you find your way!
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 12-27-2007, 12:50 AM
Larry Lee's Avatar
Larry Lee Larry Lee is offline
Predestinated Servant of Jesus Christ by the Will of God
True Christian™ Theologian
True Christian™

1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 1st class Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Saved 5 Years Platinum Tither Saved 10 Years Real American™ Ribfest '02 Christian Love Heaven Bound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound Teabag Patriot Ex-liberal Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life True Republican 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 4,303
Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Basic words to forum by

Quote:
Originally Posted by tinioril View Post
I read Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, The Gospels, and Revalation. I learned that I have to knock down walls with mildew on them. Do you do that? Oh, and have you heard of this thing called the Holocaust? Or the Spanish Inquisition? Or the Salem Witch Trials? All done faithfully in the name of God.
Your reading doesn't seem to have increased your knowledge of God's dictates much.
__________________


I loved Newt before Newt was invincible
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 12-27-2007, 05:39 PM
tinfoil tinfoil is offline
Unsaved trash
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 39
tinfoil is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Basic words to forum by

Quote:
Originally Posted by VictoryOS View Post
Friend, you can be Mr. Smarty-Pants all you want, but it doesn't change the fact that you're on the fast track to Hell. Instead of trying to find something clever to say (and missing the mark, I might add), maybe you should try to learn a thing or two while you're here.

In my younger days, I too was an Unsaved heathen. Why, I once woke up in a stranger's closet wearing a fur hat I'd never seen before in my life! I realize now that I was simply over-analyzing things. Thinking too much, if you will. That's the work of Satan. He puts seeds of doubt into your mind. My life really turned around once I stopped thinking with my brain and started thinking with the Bible. Everything you need to know is already sorted out for you in the pages of the Holy Book. So why bother?

He is the Rock, his work is perfect: for all his ways are judgment: a God of truth and without iniquity, just and right is he. (Deuteronomy 32:4)

Praise JESUS, tinioral, may you find your way!
I'm not an unsaved heathen. I'm a Presbyterian who believes that Jesus is the only way to heaven. What does a closet and a fur hat have to do with anything? What I'm learning is that if everyone was this kind of "Christian", Women would have no rights, everyone would be rascist, and we would be killing gay people left and right. And "witches". I bother with thinking because I'm not a Republican. I do praise Jesus, and it doesn't involve hate.

P.S. It's tinioril. With an i.
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 12-27-2007, 06:49 PM
SalvationSeeker's Avatar
SalvationSeeker SalvationSeeker is offline
True Christian™ Theologian
Forum Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 3,982
SalvationSeeker is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.SalvationSeeker is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.SalvationSeeker is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.SalvationSeeker is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.SalvationSeeker is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.SalvationSeeker is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.SalvationSeeker is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.SalvationSeeker is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.SalvationSeeker is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.SalvationSeeker is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.SalvationSeeker is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Basic words to forum by

Quote:
Originally Posted by tinioril View Post
I'm not an unsaved heathen. I'm a Presbyterian who believes that Jesus is the only way to heaven.
If you're Saved then why don't you obey the commandments?
Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven;
But he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.
Matthew 7:21

That's Jesus Himself speaking, and what's so hard for you to understand in what He says?

Really, you can call yourself Saved all you want, but that doesn't make it so.
As it looks right now, yours will be the fate of the people mentioned in Matthew 7:22-23
Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name?
And in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you:
Depart from me, ye that work iniquity.
Matthew 7:22-23

As the Holy Bible says:
But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.
James 1:22

And that's what you're doing right now, deceiving yourself.
He that saith, I know him, and keepeth not his commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him.
1 John 2:4

Quote:
I do praise Jesus, and it doesn't involve hate.
You praise nothing but a false fantasy god that you have created in your own image and named after Jesus.

Ye that love the LORD, hate evil:
He preserveth the souls of his saints;
He delivereth them out of the hand of the wicked.
Psalm 97:10
__________________
If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 12-29-2007, 02:47 AM
Mr Godwin's Avatar
Mr Godwin Mr Godwin is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Nice house on Nob Hill
Posts: 123
Mr Godwin is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Basic words to forum by

Quote:
Originally Posted by tinioril View Post

I'm not an unsaved heathen. I'm a Presbyterian who believes that Jesus is the only way to heaven.

(and blah blah)

I bother with thinking because I'm not a Republican. I do praise Jesus, and it doesn't involve hate.
I'm afraid I have bad news for you, Mr Tinioril.

If you're a Presbyterian, you are a heathen and you are not Saved®. For your information, of course. I'm a man of facts, Mr Tinioril, I deal in cold hard facts. For many years my kin from Carolina were involved with that sissy false-church, but it so happened that we on my side of the family were true Baptists.

Baptists read the whole Word of the living GOD, Mr Tinioril. We don't pick and choose what we like and leave out the rest. We don't interpret. We don't think. God doesn't want you to think, Mr Tinioril. He wants you to believe on Him. Utterly. For your information.

Last summer after a tragic death in the family, two of my cousins from that side of the family finally saw the error of their ways and converted to true Baptist, and of course their wives converted right along with them, as it is proper for good wives to do. For your information. I'm a man of information, Mr Tinioril.

I'm also a GODLY Republican, as Jesus commands. I do praise Jesus, but unlike an ignorant person such as yourself, I know what the Bible actually says, and I have bad news for you, some of God's Word most certainly does involve hate. If God hates, so do we hate. We follow GOD, and we don't question His Holy Word. For it is written thus:

John 8:44 Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.

1st Corinthians 5:12 For what have I to do to judge them also that are without? do not ye judge them that are within?
1st Corinthians 5:13 But them that are without God judgeth. Therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person.

I hope this helps,
Mr Tinioril.

Sincerely,
Brother Godwin


Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 12-30-2007, 02:42 AM
tinfoil tinfoil is offline
Unsaved trash
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 39
tinfoil is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Basic words to forum by

You just admitted you don't think. Was that whole arguement put into your mind by god and you didn't think about it? Is that it? What if I think Baptists are Heathens? What then? And when does Jesus say "Vote for the Republican idiots"? Show me that verse.
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 12-30-2007, 03:32 AM
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Posts: 75,181
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Basic words to forum by

Quote:
Originally Posted by tinfoil View Post
You just admitted you don't think. Was that whole arguement put into your mind by god and you didn't think about it? Is that it? What if I think Baptists are Heathens? What then? And when does Jesus say "Vote for the Republican idiots"? Show me that verse.
Obviously there was no voting back in the olden days. Are you that ignorant?
__________________
Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 12-30-2007, 04:15 PM
SalvationSeeker's Avatar
SalvationSeeker SalvationSeeker is offline
True Christian™ Theologian
Forum Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 3,982
SalvationSeeker is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.SalvationSeeker is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.SalvationSeeker is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.SalvationSeeker is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.SalvationSeeker is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.SalvationSeeker is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.SalvationSeeker is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.SalvationSeeker is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.SalvationSeeker is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.SalvationSeeker is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.SalvationSeeker is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Basic words to forum by

Quote:
Originally Posted by tinfoil View Post
You just admitted you don't think. Was that whole arguement put into your mind by god and you didn't think about it? Is that it?
Have you ever read Proverbs 3:5-6? Probably not.
Try it.

Quote:
What if I think Baptists are Heathens? What then?
Then I'll reply like this:
Since when did what you think ever matter in the least?
(It never did and still doesn't, that's when.)

Opinions doesn't change the facts, never has, never will.
__________________
If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
forum, internet, net losers, rules, trolling, trolls

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here

The information presented here is Biblically accurate. Opinions concerning the technical difficulties, fitness requirements, safety, and ratings of self-crucifixion, flagellation, stoning, destroying enemies of GOD utterly, without mercy, and other activities inherent in Christianity are subjective and may differ from yours or others' opinions; therefore be warned that you must exercise your own judgment as to the difficulty and your ability to safely protect yourself from the inherent risks and dangers. Do not use the information provided on this site unless you are a True Christian ™ who understands and accepts the risks of participating in these activities. Landover Baptist Church makes reasonable efforts to include accurate and up to date information on this website, errors or omissions sometimes occur, therefore the information contained on here is provided "as is" and without warranties of any kind either expressed or implied. Viewing, reading, or any other use of the information contained within this web site is purely the voluntary will of the viewer or user. You, 'the viewer' or 'user' shall not hold the publisher, owner, authors or other contributors of The Jesus Experience responsible for any incidents related directly or indirectly to the Experience. Landover Baptist Church, et. al., assumes no liability or responsibility for your actions.


All times are GMT. The time now is 01:12 PM.


Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1999, 2009 all rights reserved