Jerking for Jesus

[Joe Rolandowsky]

I am looking to initiate a new Church program here at Landover, I call the program 'Jerking for Jesus". The plan is simple, most of us live within a reasonable distance of an Interstate rest area or truck stop. What better opportunity to spread the word than to convert these American "warriors of the highway" into "Warriors for Jesus"!

I believe, that in a coordinated effort, we can blanket these rest areas and truck stops and JERK the unclean thoughts and beliefs right out of those trucking heathens. Once converted, they can continue to JERK the impure thoughts out of the other unclean ones, thus spreading the good word.


So who is with me? Who wants to join Jerking for Jesus

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Jerking for Jesus

This sounds like something the men's Prayer Circle might be interested in. Please contact Bobby-Joe or Pastor Zeke.

[Wash O'Hanley]

Re: Jerking for Jesus

I believe brother Rex 'Switch' Blade started doing something like this about two years ago. It was called the Glory Hole Project and he and his gang went to truckstops around the US and drilled holes in the bathroom stalls so that truckers that were having impure thoughts would look at them and rather than giving into temptation would get on their knees and praise Jesus before the hole.

[Spears Britney]

Re: Jerking for Jesus

Colour me interested.

[MohammedSalami]

Re: Jerking for Jesus

I think that Jerking for Jesus is a great idea.

[lord warrior]

Re: Jerking for Jesus

We have a similar program for the women who frequent the trucks stops as well. We witness to them and soon they repent. I can't tell you the joy of seeing them, on there knee's, taking in the "full glory" of Jesus. I had several repent last weekend.

[The baptist]

Re: Jerking for Jesus

I have been there brother, praise be;

Dan 10.. 5
Then I lifted up mine eyes, and looked, and behold a certain man clothed in linen, whose loins were girded with fine gold of Uphaz

Dan 10.. 10

And, behold, an hand touched me, which set me upon my knees and upon the palms of my hands

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Jerking for Jesus

I believe brother Rex 'Switch' Blade started doing something like this about two years ago. It was called the Glory Hole Project and he and his gang went to truckstops around the US and drilled holes in the bathroom stalls so that truckers that were having impure thoughts would look at them and rather than giving into temptation would get on their knees and praise Jesus before the hole.

If I recall, Brother Rex came up with the term "Glory Hole" because the holes were meant to spread the Glory of Jesus Christ, right?

[Glorious Whole]

Re: Jerking for Jesus

Absolutely

[John Rork]

Re: Jerking for Jesus

Praise be I have, (I mean am) a member.

I had no idea that I could become one, so I sent our Senior Pastor the following message about "Jerking for Jesus"

I have been jerking for Jesus since the age of 12, and I have to admit that thinking of the Lord while jerking keeps my mind focused on the glories that soon follow. Such faithful surrender as occurs in the midst of jerking for Jesus results in tremors of awe and wonder followed by the deepest state of bliss and peace.

Oh that all the evil heathens would discover the truth that comes from jerking for Jesus. I have begun a mission to jerk for Jesus in public spaces where by example I show how being faithful to the calling results in an overflow of blessings. To date, the state police have persecuted me for my mission in public spaces, (but that is expected in these End Times where the degree of our persecution is a measure of our faithfulness.) My only hope is that in expressing my love of God, (as I am constantly saying, "Oh God, Oh God" when in the midst of jerking for Jesus), that others will know in their hearts that Jesus is Lord, and will also, with great zeal, jerk for Jesus.

[Brother Mark Loman]

Re: Jerking for Jesus

Wow, I just booted the wife out 8 hours ago leaving me a bit lonely with only the pussy cats around. Seemed a tad "inappropriate" engaging in said activity with the spouse not lying beside me like we have always frequently done before- well, I was the only one but hey, God created me with innate needs. My thoughts immediately shifted to Jesus and I prayed for him to somehow solve my needs, allowing me to focus on Him the whole time to keep my mind pure and from wandering. That's when He led me to this posting, Amen!
I will discuss this at the next "mens breakfast" with the guys and see what they think about it, may make for good fellowship if used to Glorify God. Great idea

[Drag QueenTwink]

Re: Jerking for Jesus

I want to get down on my knees and start pleasing Jesus, I want to feel his salvation all over my face

[Thomas Taylor]

Re: Jerking for Jesus

I want to get down on my knees and start pleasing Jesus, I want to feel his salvation all over my face

You, monkey boy, are one sick puppy. Stop making filthy innuendoes. Our Lord Jesus Christ is not one of your sick sex toys.

I find your post totally inappropriate and insulting to my fellow saved brethren.