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Promise Enforcers - Men Only! We make Promise Keepers look like homers! No homosexuals or women allowed!

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  #1  
Old 06-09-2007, 02:28 AM
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Default Why Women Need Spanking!

Folks, my heart really goes out to pro golfer John Daly. His spoiled wife attacked him with a knife right before a golf tournament. Imagine the shame of showing up at the green with red marks on your face.

No doubt, Daly's wife is to blame for his poor performance (on and off the green). But Daly is to blame for not disciplining his wife according to Biblical standards.

Daly's autobiography, "My Life In & Out of the Rough" details his lack of discipline in a chapter devoted to his three former wives that was titled, "All My Exes Wear Rolexes."

Let this tragedy remind all that our Lord Jesus Christ weeps when we don't properly discipline our wives. Next time you're over par at the course, try giving HER a few swats . . . it'll improve your swing.
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Old 06-09-2007, 09:15 AM
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Default Re: Why Women Need Spanking!

Amen Brother Elmer. The divorce rate in God's country has been an embarrassment for many decades now. Landover University has devoted some advanced study to the subject of Domestic Discipline. Spankings are necessary to punish or discourage nascent feminine misbehavior, provide a reminder of the woman's responsibilities, and enhance feminine submission. Where serious infraction occur, a full-fledged punishment spanking, where she is scolded, stripped and spanked to tears, is necessary for correction. Often times only a minor disciplinary session is required to correct minor examples of feminine misbehavior without having to go through the entire, lengthy process of a punishment spanking. Husbands should also establish a regular Maintenance Discipline schedule where she is given reminder spankings at set intervals to remind her of her obedience duties, the corrective authority of her husband, and other responsibilities as a female. And lastly there is Preemptive Discipline, which is to be given when there are early warning signs of incipient feminine misbehavior. These ultimately spare women from the pain of undergoing the more extensive punishment spanking and contribute to her personal development.
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Old 06-09-2007, 12:13 PM
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Default Re: Why Women Need Spanking!

You know, golf clubs aren't just for whacking that little dimpled white ball home. I've found that a 7 iron works well in dealing out a Godly reminder that a truly RARE steak is still bloody, not just pink.

Obviously Brother Daley didn't know that.
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Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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  #4  
Old 06-09-2007, 12:32 PM
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Default Re: Why Women Need Spanking!

It's a wonder that every woman in Freehold hasn't left. Or do you keep them chained to the stove so they can't?
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  #5  
Old 06-09-2007, 01:15 PM
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Default Re: Why Women Need Spanking!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy View Post
It's a wonder that every woman in Freehold hasn't left. Or do you keep them chained to the stove so they can't?
See, this just shows how uppity and lost you are. Our True Christian girls are perfectly happy to serve their Menfolk, following God's expectations. According to you they should all be hiding out at some lezbean secret safehouse hidden on the outskirts of Des Moines, but that place burned to the ground and not even the mexican contractors will rebuild it, Praise Jesus!

My girlfriend sister Thumper will tell you all about it once the swelling goes down.
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Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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  #6  
Old 06-09-2007, 01:26 PM
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Default Re: Why Women Need Spanking!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy View Post
It's a wonder that every woman in Freehold hasn't left. Or do you keep them chained to the stove so they can't?
Sometimes being chained to the stove is too good for her (like that dreaded week that comes every month). For "that time" I like to follow Brother Zeke's advice. And the dogloo is easy to keep clean with a garden hose.
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Old 06-09-2007, 02:30 PM
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Default Re: Why Women Need Spanking!

*scoff* If my boyfriend ever tries to spank me, I better be chained to the bed, and in leather. Other than that, he's getting a swift kick in the balls. That goes for anyone who tries that. Just so you know, If you spank your wife without her permission she can call 911, and you'll most likely be put in jail, for assault.
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Old 06-09-2007, 02:37 PM
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Default Re: Why Women Need Spanking!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Hikari View Post
*scoff* If my boyfriend ever tries to spank me, I better be chained to the bed, and in leather. Other than that, he's getting a swift kick in the balls. That goes for anyone who tries that. Just so you know, If you spank your wife without her permission she can call 911, and you'll most likely be put in jail, for assault
First of all, forgive me Jesus for being a woman and forgive me for violating the sanctity of the men's forum. But I find this Hellkari woman unbearable! First, she's advertising her Satanic perversions, then she says a man can be jailed for spanking HIS wife??? Where do these demon-spawn live? Certainly not in the Godly Mid-Western USA!
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  #9  
Old 06-09-2007, 02:41 PM
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

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Default Re: Why Women Need Spanking!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Hikari View Post
*scoff* If my boyfriend ever tries to spank me, I better be chained to the bed, and in leather. Other than that, he's getting a swift kick in the balls. That goes for anyone who tries that. Just so you know, If you spank your wife without her permission she can call 911, and you'll most likely be put in jail, for assault.
Not in Freehold, you inbred chink. The True Christian™ girls around here submit willingly to the natural and Christ-ordered way. They bend over and grab ankle whenever commanded to do so. And that's when they get a warning...

Anyway, Brother BJ and his boys in security have the phones wired so that all 911 calls get routed to him. So no worries there, hop-sing.
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Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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  #10  
Old 06-09-2007, 02:52 PM
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Miss Hikari Miss Hikari is offline
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Default Re: Why Women Need Spanking!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Glendora Christianson View Post
First of all, forgive me Jesus for being a woman and forgive me for violating the sanctity of the men's forum. But I find this Hellkari woman unbearable! First, she's advertising her Satanic perversions, then she says a man can be jailed for spanking HIS wife??? Where do these demon-spawn live? Certainly not in the Godly Mid-Western USA!
I live in California, thank you very much. My boyfriend's from Illinois though. And I was just making a point. I've never done that. And I've barely even seen you around here, let alone talked to you, so I don't get how I can be so unbearable.
And yeah, your husband can be jailed. Unless the spanking is consensual, it's assault. Possibly Assault with a deadly weapon. It's called Domestic Violence. Heard of it?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Not in Freehold, you inbred chink. The True Christian™ girls around here submit willingly to the natural and Christ-ordered way. They bend over and grab ankle whenever commanded to do so. And that's when they get a warning...

Anyway, Brother BJ and his boys in security have the phones wired so that all 911 calls get routed to him. So no worries there, hop-sing.
I feel truly sorry for the women in your community. I'll never submit to my boyfriend, unless I want to. And even then, he knows when he's going to far. An the 911 routing? Illegal. 100% Illegal. And I'll just choose to ignore the insults...

-Hii *disgusted and disappointed*
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  #11  
Old 06-23-2007, 05:43 PM
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Shallow-izer (On Moderation) Shallow-izer is offline
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Default Re: Why Women Need Spanking!



Why women need spanking?

Cause the guys at thich church haver "urges."
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Old 06-24-2007, 12:20 AM
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Default Re: Why Women Need Spanking!

Its never OK to hit someone period. Even though self defense can justify it to an extent, you still shouldn't be proud of nor happy about of what you did.

Even worse are those whom beat their wifes, it's utterly disgusting and just plain not cool. I'm serious here, I don't care what other things you've done, that's just low.
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Old 06-24-2007, 12:22 AM
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Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Why Women Need Spanking!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shallow-izer View Post


Why women need spanking?

Cause the guys at thich church haver "urges."

In case you haven't noticed, Landovites are obsessed with spanking (wives and monkeys) and anal sex.
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  #14  
Old 06-24-2007, 12:26 AM
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Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

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Default Re: Why Women Need Spanking!

Women are naturally empty-headed. They wake up in a new world about every 20 minutes. Sometimes getting the back of their Godly husband's hand is just what they need. The Bible commands us men to "subjugate" them, so there you go. God knows what's best.
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Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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  #15  
Old 06-24-2007, 12:27 AM
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Default Re: Why Women Need Spanking!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Women are naturally empty-headed. They wake up in a new world about every 20 minutes. Sometimes getting the back of their Godly husband's hand is just what they need. The Bible commands us men to "subjugate" them, so there you go. God knows what's best.
I don't care what some old book tells me to do, I'm not going to hit women.
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  #16  
Old 06-24-2007, 04:17 AM
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Betty Lambskin Betty Lambskin is offline
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Default Re: Why Women Need Spanking!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
You know, golf clubs aren't just for whacking that little dimpled white ball home. I've found that a 7 iron works well in dealing out a Godly reminder that a truly RARE steak is still bloody, not just pink.

Obviously Brother Daley didn't know that.
Just have to say that I LOVE this thread! Spanking is one of the tools I believe God has truly blessed men with, they do it so well, they really know how to get a gal to wake up and bake the pie already! Only I've never felt the sting of a 7 iron, I think this would enliven our evening devotional time and I do wish to bring it up with my better half tomorrow.
Great thoughts!
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  #17  
Old 06-24-2007, 04:36 AM
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Thumbs down Re: Why Women Need Spanking!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Women are naturally empty-headed. They wake up in a new world about every 20 minutes. Sometimes getting the back of their Godly husband's hand is just what they need. The Bible commands us men to "subjugate" them, so there you go. God knows what's best.
Isn't ego a sin?

Seriously. Woman beaters do have fun and all, oh yes.



In the Prison Shower Room!
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  #18  
Old 06-24-2007, 12:32 PM
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Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

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Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Why Women Need Spanking!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unsaved and Loving It View Post
Isn't ego a sin?

Yes, one of many common in uppity feminazi females. Right you are!

Seriously. Woman beaters do have fun and all, oh yes.
I wouldn't call it fun exactly. It can be hard work. Really hard.
__________________
Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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  #19  
Old 06-24-2007, 10:10 PM
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Shallow-izer (On Moderation) Shallow-izer is offline
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Default Re: Why Women Need Spanking!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
I wouldn't call it fun exactly. It can be hard work. Really hard.
You should know, you're always on the recieving end of God's love.

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  #20  
Old 06-25-2007, 01:12 AM
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Posts: 76,877
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Why Women Need Spanking!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shallow-izer View Post
You should know, you're always on the recieving end of God's love.

Why thank you, I think. That's the first time you've had a civil tongue in your head. Maybe Jesus is working on you even now....
__________________
Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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