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  • #1

    A Holy Hello from Sunny Florida!

    I'm new to these parts of the interwebs but I make fast friends wherever the good Lord sees fit to land me!

    My hubby and I are the best Christians in the God-foresaken swamp that passes for a state (and I say that without any doubt or condescension) but we're trying to get along as best we can with the natives. That's why we are members of a Calvary Chapel. I thought it best to stick to our Southern Baptist leanings but my dear husband has a plan to bring the message of Jesus to the unwashed masses at the local mega-church (read: Wal-Mart of Christianity) where they do most of their un-saving.

    Of course, his decision for us to maintain our good standing at Calvary might have something to do with our mortgage loan officer's membership there since Dicky's cousin Bernie did some funny number crunching with our investments and now we have only the Winter Home to enjoy.

    Such is the life of a woman who stands by her man!

    I've been criticized for being an outspoken woman on many occasions but always by well-meaning sons of the lord. That's why Dicky set me up with this new macbook and NetNanny access to LandoverBaptist and CBN. This way I can "get it out of my system" as Dicky puts it and get on with the business of being his #1.

    I can't reveal my real and true full name on this board because my husband and I are one of ten couples who recently defeated homosexual civil unions (nothing "civil" about them!) in Florida and boy are their little panties in a twist over it!

    But I look forward to chatting with the ladies and Pastor Ezekiel Flint - whom I met on that facebook site (before it revealed itself to be a front for the Obama Administration's propaganda ministry).

    Yours in Christ,
    Linda aka "Florida Squeezed"
    "The greatest Christian minds in female America are born from beauty pageants; Sarah Palin, Anita Bryant and Carrie Prejean. All of these intellectuals have one thing in common - they have been absolutely terrorized by the homosexuals."
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: A Holy Hello from Sunny Florida!

    Hello Anita and welcome to our Godly Forum™. You were a pioneer in cleansing our country of the homer menace.

    I hope you bake something other than pies made from oranges.


    Leviticus 26:27-29

    27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
    28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
    29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: A Holy Hello from Sunny Florida!

      I did a luncheon with Anita in Miami when I was a lad of about 14. It was right about the time of her persecution by the heathens. Same week that Eastern airlines jet 'landed' in the swamp. I have stories about that crash you'd never beleive. But I digress.


      Welcome Linda, to the Holiest of Forums(c).
      Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
      Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
      Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
      Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
      Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
      Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: A Holy Hello from Sunny Florida!

        Originally posted by SayvedByTheLord View Post
        I hope you bake something other than pies made from oranges.
        As a matter of fact, I got some Freedom Fries comin' right up! It's Super-Bowl Sunday and Florida is the place to be! Nothing gives me more pleasure than seeing all the men in my life (one husband, his best friend and our two sons) looking up at me, their mouths dripping over with runny ketchup, that certain hunger in their eyes and when they pat their full bellies as if to say "Thank you for the great meal... I really appreciate everything you do for me."

        It just warms my heart.

        Ooops! Gotta Go... The 5X7 portrait of Ronald Reagan just fell into the frying vat and now he's looking more like Nancy!
        "The greatest Christian minds in female America are born from beauty pageants; Sarah Palin, Anita Bryant and Carrie Prejean. All of these intellectuals have one thing in common - they have been absolutely terrorized by the homosexuals."

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: A Holy Hello from Sunny Florida!

          Praise Jesus and welcome to God's favorite forum little lady. Now run and fetch your man a cold beer.
          Who Will Jesus Damn?

          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: A Holy Hello from Sunny Florida!

            Welcome to our nice and friendly forum Florida Squeezed!

            Psalm 19:8 "The statutes of the LORD are right, rejoicing the heart: the commandment of the LORD is pure, enlightening the eyes."
            5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
            To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
            James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: A Holy Hello from Sunny Florida!

              Ma'am, thank you kindly for showing that a woman can be a lady with grace and dignity and live a Biblical life.

              This contrasts strongly with the harlots that come to this forum trying to corrupt the Bible to suit their fantasies.
              I take my orders from Jesus H. Christ, supernatural born US citizen

              Be wary of false Kumbaya Christians who use a highlighter and scissors to read the Bible. God wants us to read the lines, not between the lines. False Christians will go to Hell:
              Matthew 7:22               Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
              Matthew 7:23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

              Asking a Christian to prove God exists is like asking him to prove his phone rings because yours doesn't. Make that call yourself! Dial 0800-get-on-your-knees-and-pray.

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: A Holy Hello from Sunny Florida!

                Welcome, Sister! It warms my heart to know there is a good, submissive Christian woman trying to do good for her family and God's Nation down there in New Cuba. I have a feeling you'll fit in here just fine in Landover. Perhaps you could give my wife some pie-baking tips?

                Nice to meet you!
                Matthew 7:15
                Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.

                Comment

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