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Old 04-16-2010, 10:37 PM
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Thumbs up Series of the greatest smitings in the Bible.

Of course not you fine True Christians™ as you're bound to know them all. This series is more for the neophyte Christians and hippy dippy cafeteria Christians who go around teaching that God is all love.

First on my list is the story of someone who refused to follow God's law.

The man who gathered sticks on the Sabbath. Only one dead.

33And while the children of Israel were in the wilderness, they found a man that gathered sticks upon the sabbath day.
34And they that found him gathering sticks brought him unto Moses and Aaron, and unto all the congregation.
35And they put him in ward, because it was not declared what should be done to him.
36And the LORD said unto Moses, The man shall be surely put to death: all the congregation shall stone him with stones without the camp.
And all the congregation brought him without the camp, and stoned him with stones, and he died; as the LORD commanded Moses.
Num. 15

How much more strongly can God put it? He does not want you working on Sunday. This is why we need to bring back the blue laws nationwide. Sunday is the day of rest and people don't have any business not getting their lazy behinds to Church!
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Last edited by Levi Jones; 04-19-2010 at 04:59 AM. Reason: parsing
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Old 04-17-2010, 02:45 AM
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Default Re: A series some of the greatest smitings in the Bible.

She bears 42 children dead

This is the story of a great and powerful man of God named Elisha. Elisha has had a hard day. He has just gotten back from healing the land by putting salt in the water when he runs across some punk kids. These little bastards have the nerve to start chanting rude things at him.


2 Kings 2
23And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.
24And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.
I think he did what we all would do in a similar situation. This story also goes to show that the LORD looks out for his own.



I don't know how many times I have walked around our once Godly mall here in Abilene and seen groups of vagrant kids. I'm always prayin'. I hope He will show His favor on this lowly servant in some such way.
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Last edited by Levi Jones; 04-19-2010 at 04:53 AM.
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Old 04-17-2010, 04:31 AM
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Default Re: A series some of the greatest smitings in the Bible.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Black View Post
She bears


This is the story of a great and powerful man of God named Elisha. Elisha has had a hard day. He has just gotten back from healing the land by putting salt in the water when he runs across some punk kids. These little bastards have the nerve to start chanting rude things at him.


2 Kings 2
23And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.
24And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.
I think he did what we all would do in a similar situation. This story also goes to show that the LORD looks out for his own.



I don't know how many times I have walked around our once Godly mall here in Abilene and seen groups of vagrant kids. I'm always prayin'. I hope He will show His favor on this lowly servant in some such way.
Oh I just LOVE that one!
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Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Old 04-17-2010, 11:26 AM
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Thumbs up Re: Series of the greatest smitings in the Bible.

Yeah, I love that one too.
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Old 04-17-2010, 05:50 PM
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Default Re: Series of the greatest smitings in the Bible.

The golden calf incident. 3,000 smote.


In Exodus 24, Moses tells everyone that the LORD has a message for only him to hear and He specifically bade everyone else to stay away except Moses. Being the holy man he was, Moses dutifully obeyed the LORD and went to the top of mount Sinai for 40 days and 40 nights.


While he was up the people got nervous and told Aaron so. Being the holy man of faith Aaron was, he abandons God after a little over a month and tells the people to gather up all their gold to make an idol.


1And when the people saw that Moses delayed to come down out of the mount, the people gathered themselves together unto Aaron, and said unto him, Up, make us gods, which shall go before us; for as for this Moses, the man that brought us up out of the land of Egypt, we wot not what is become of him.
2And Aaron said unto them, Break off the golden earrings, which are in the ears of your wives, of your sons, and of your daughters, and bring them unto me.
3And all the people brake off the golden earrings which were in their ears, and brought them unto Aaron.
4And he received them at their hand, and fashioned it with a graving tool, after he had made it a molten calf: and they said, These be thy gods, O Israel, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt.
5And when Aaron saw it, he built an altar before it; and Aaron made proclamation, and said, To morrow is a feast to the LORD.

Well, God gets wind of this and, I tell you what, He ain't none too happy about it.


7And the LORD said unto Moses, Go, get thee down; for thy people, which thou broughtest out of the land of Egypt, have corrupted themselves:
8They have turned aside quickly out of the way which I commanded them: they have made them a molten calf, and have worshipped it, and have sacrificed thereunto, and said, These be thy gods, O Israel, which have brought thee up out of the land of Egypt.

God decides He is going to smite them all.

10Now therefore let me alone, that my wrath may wax hot against them, and that I may consume them: and I will make of thee a great nation.

Moses doesn't like that idea, so he tells God to take it back.

12Turn from thy fierce wrath, and repent of this evil against thy people.


God did what Moses told him to.

14And the LORD repented of the evil which he thought to do unto his people.

Now Moses is mad as a wet hornet! He comes down the mountain and He wants some answers right then and right there.

19And it came to pass, as soon as he came nigh unto the camp, that he saw the calf, and the dancing: and Moses' anger waxed hot, and he cast the tables out of his hands, and brake them beneath the mount.
20And he took the calf which they had made, and burnt it in the fire, and ground it to powder, and strawed it upon the water, and made the children of Israel drink of it.
21And Moses said unto Aaron, What did this people unto thee, that thou hast brought so great a sin upon them?

Aaron takes full responsibility by telling Moses the people made him do it.

22And Aaron said, Let not the anger of my lord wax hot: thou knowest the people, that they are set on mischief.

23For they said unto me, Make us gods, which shall go before us: for as for this Moses, the man that brought us up out of the land of Egypt, we wot not what is become of him.

It turns out Aaron didn't even form the thing. The fire did it all by itself.

24And I said unto them, Whosoever hath any gold, let them break it off. So they gave it me: then I cast it into the fire, and there came out this calf.


Aaron was such a standup guy and he already was handling the matter by stripping everyone worshiping the calf naked as a jay bird. Honest Moses, it wasn't anything dirty like an orgy.

25And when Moses saw that the people were naked; (for Aaron had made them naked unto their shame among their enemies.

Moses gathers the Levites for some True Christian smiting.


26Then Moses stood in the gate of the camp, and said, Who is on the LORD's side? let him come unto me. And all the sons of Levi gathered themselves together unto him.

27And he said unto them, Thus saith the LORD God of Israel, Put every man his sword by his side, and go in and out from gate to gate throughout the camp, and slay every man his brother, and every man his companion, and every man his neighbour.
28And the children of Levi did according to the word of Moses:

and there fell of the people that day about three thousand men.


As a followup God decides to send a plague.

35And the LORD plagued the people, because they made the calf, which Aaron made.

Oddly enough Aaron didn't die for that. I guess being Moses' brother has its privileges.
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Last edited by Levi Jones; 04-19-2010 at 04:52 AM.
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Old 04-18-2010, 09:55 PM
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Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson is offline
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Default Re: Series of the greatest smitings in the Bible.

This is a long one. I apologize about the length of this, but it's one hell of a smiting!

Numbers 16 Approximately 15,000 Israelites dead by the hand of the LORD for opposing Moses.

Rebellion is in the air. The children of Israel aren't happy with Moses leadership. Korah, Levi's great grandson of the Levite tribe. Dathan, Abiram and On of the Reubenite tribe have grown insolent and they have taken 250 well-known men who had been appointed members of the council with them. Their complaint revolves around the fact that Moses and Aaron have set themselves above everyone else, when they believe themselves to be just as holy.


Ye take too much upon you, seeing all the congregation are holy, every one of them, and the LORD is among them: wherefore then lift ye up yourselves above the congregation of the LORD?

Moses upon hearing this proposes a wager of sorts.

5 Then he said to Korah and all his followers: "In the morning the LORD will show who belongs to him and who is holy, and he will have that person come near him. The man he chooses he will cause to come near him.

Basically, they are going to burn incense and wait for a sign.

7And put fire therein, and put incense in them before the LORD to morrow: and it shall be that the man whom the LORD doth choose, he shall be holy: ye take too much upon you, ye sons of Levi (This time you've gone too far by opposing me and my brother.)

It's not enough that the Levites get to be the priest class and work directly in the tabernacle, but they have the nerve to grumble about Aaron. (verses 9-11)

Moses calls out Dathan and Abiram to tell them of the wager. They flatly refuse telling him more or less, that it's not bad enough that this land doesn't flow with milk and honey like you promised and you have set yourself up as our king, but now you plan on gouging out the opposition's eyeballs if they show up. (verses 12-14.)

Well, that was the wrong thing to say to Moses because he and God are BFF's. Moses tells God..

15Respect not thou their offering: I have not taken one ass from them, neither have I hurt one of them.

To Korah and the 250 respected men of the council Moses tells them to be ready in the morning with their vessel full of incense ready to burn. It's on now!

19And Korah gathered all the congregation against them unto the door of the tabernacle of the congregation: and the glory of the LORD appeared unto all the congregation.
20And the LORD spake unto Moses and unto Aaron, saying,
21Separate yourselves from among this congregation, that I may consume them in a moment.
22And they fell upon their faces, and said, O God, the God of the spirits of all flesh, shall one man sin, and wilt thou be wroth with all the congregation?

God reconsiders, as He so often does for Moses. He tells Moses to warn the people to get away from the encampment of Dathan, and Abiram. IT's smiting time!

26And he spake unto the congregation, saying, Depart, I pray you, from the tents of these wicked men, and touch nothing of their's, lest ye be consumed in all their sins.
27So they gat up from the tabernacle of Korah, Dathan, and Abiram, on every side: and Dathan and Abiram came out, and stood in the door of their tents, and their wives, and their sons, and their little children.
28And Moses said, Hereby ye shall know that the LORD hath sent me to do all these works; for I have not done them of mine own mind.
29If these men die the common death of all men, or if they be visited after the visitation of all men; then the LORD hath not sent me.

Another wager. Moses never loses with God on his side!

30But if the LORD make a new thing, and the earth open her mouth, and swallow them up, with all that appertain unto them, and they go down quick into the pit; then ye shall understand that these men have provoked the LORD.

The earth opens up and swallows men, women and children for upsetting the LORD


31And it came to pass, as he had made an end of speaking all these words, that the ground clave asunder that was under them:
32And the earth opened her mouth, and swallowed them up, and their houses, and all the men that appertained unto Korah, and all their goods.
33They, and all that appertained to them, went down alive into the pit, and the earth closed upon them: and they perished from among the congregation.

The children of Israel are afraid as they should be.

34And all Israel that were round about them fled at the cry of them: for they said, Lest the earth swallow us up also.

And that wasn't enough. Remember the 250 men of respect who were burning incense? God deals with them too.

That fire in the sky

35And there came out a fire from the LORD, and consumed the two hundred and fifty men that offered incense.

The followup smiting

You would think that the earth opening up a swallowing some of the dissidents and a fire from the sky consuming the others would be good enough to shut the rest of them up. Not quite.

41But on the morrow all the congregation of the children of Israel murmured against Moses and against Aaron, saying, Ye have killed the people of the LORD.

Uh oh. Now God is super pissed and he ain't gonna listen to Moses this time.

45Get you up from among this congregation, that I may consume them as in a moment.

Moses and Aaron have to work quickly to calm God down. (Too late)


46And Moses said unto Aaron, Take a censer (a vessel for burning incense), and put fire therein from off the altar, and put on incense, and go quickly unto the congregation, and make an atonement for them: for there is wrath gone out from the LORD; the plague is begun.
47And Aaron took as Moses commanded, and ran into the midst of the congregation; and, behold, the plague was begun among the people: and he put on incense, and made an atonement for the people.
48And he stood between the dead and the living; and the plague was stayed.

Aaron was able to contain the plague, but not before it consumed 14,700.

49Now they that died in the plague were fourteen thousand and seven hundred, beside them that died about the matter of Korah.

The moral of the story, God is going to seriously mess you up if you don't listen to Him.
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Last edited by Levi Jones; 04-19-2010 at 04:53 AM.
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Old 04-19-2010, 11:10 PM
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Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson is offline
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Default Re: Series of the greatest smitings in the Bible.

The smiting for looking in the Ark

The Israelites are at war with the Philistines. In 1 Samuel 4, they battle and the Children of Israel lose about 4,000 men and the battle. (v 1-2)
A change of strategy was needed. They bring the Ark of the Covenant to the battlefield. The mere sight of it sends the Hebrew camp into a joyous uproar!
Hearing the Israelites hooting and cheering, the Philistines want to know what the heck is going on. Somehow they hear that the Ark is in Hebrew camp and they are afraid.

7And the Philistines were afraid, for they said, God is come into the camp. And they said, Woe unto us! for there hath not been such a thing heretofore.

Now that the Ark is in the Hebrew camp, they are ready to rumble with the heathen Philistines. They can't lose, right?

10And the Philistines fought, and Israel was smitten, and they fled every man into his tent: and there was a very great slaughter; for there fell of Israel thirty thousand footmen.
11And the ark of God was taken; and the two sons of Eli, Hophni and Phinehas, were slain.

At least God gets back at them for stealing from Him. As the Ark comes into Palestina, God smites their rectums. People start dropping dead from a plague that causes rats to overrun the place and emerods (hemorrhoids). 1 Sam 5:6.

After seeing all the destruction the ark caused, the Philistines decide they had best to give it back with a sorry note and offering about stealing your god. They decide to craft five golden mice and five golden hemorrhoids one for each of the Lords of Palestina with a nice new cart and succulent young cows to pull it.

50,070 dead!

The Israelites took back the Ark, but they looked into it. God doesn't allow anyone to look upon the Holy of Holies except the priests. In a well measured burst of rage God killed 50,070 men for that.

19And he smote the men of Bethshemesh, because they had looked into the ark of the LORD, even he smote of the people fifty thousand and threescore and ten men: and the people lamented, because the LORD had smitten many of the people with a great slaughter.
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Old 04-27-2010, 03:57 AM
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Default Re: Series of the greatest smitings in the Bible.

Sodom and Gomorrah unknown number of dead.

This is a multi-part smiting.

Our LORD is angry and His righteous anger is turned toward evil incarnate. The gays! The homosexual cities of San Fran Sodom and Los Gomorrah's.

The LORD has appeared with three men or He is taking the form of a man. I always get confused on that one.

Gen 18
1And the LORD appeared unto him in the plains of Mamre: and he sat in the tent door in the heat of the day;
2And he lift up his eyes and looked, and, lo, three men stood by him: and when he saw them, he ran to meet them from the tent door, and bowed himself toward the ground,
3And said, My LORD, if now I have found favour in thy sight, pass not away, I pray thee, from thy servant:


They have a little feast and get to chatting. As God rises to leave, He asks the men if He should tell Abraham about His divine plan for smiting the queers.

17And the LORD said, Shall I hide from Abraham that thing which I do?

God is going to take a look for himself to see whether things are as bad as He has been hearing. This verse asks an interesting theological question, does God see all and know all?

20And the LORD said, Because the cry of Sodom and Gomorrah is great, and because their sin is very grievous;
21I will go down now, and see whether they have done altogether according to the cry of it, which is come unto me; and if not, I will know.
Abraham starts negotiating with God. Leave it to the Joos to try to get a better deal from an all powerful deity.

They finally settle on that if God can find 10 righteous men, He will not destroy the cities.
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Old 05-01-2010, 05:47 AM
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Default Re: Series of the greatest smitings in the Bible.

Part 2 of this epic smiting.

Apparently, the LORD's mission to Sodom and Gomorrah didn't go well because the Angels of the LORD have shown up to rescue Lot. Were these the two men God showed up with in Chapter 18?

Gen. 19 Lot encounters them at the gate of Sodom. Was it maybe called the the glory gate? Lot sees them and somehow recognizes them as angels even though they appear as men. I'm not sure how that worked, but upon seeing them, Lot prostrates himself in front of them and whisks them away to his home.






We all know this story very well, so I'm not going to tarry on it too long. They are sitting down for a feast and suddenly all the men from the city surround them. They want some forced sex with angels. Kinky.

Lot offers up his virgin daughters instead. These people are such raging fairies that they pass up some virgins and are planning to break down the door with Lot in front of it to get to their angel quarry.




The angels snatch Lot back in to the house and strike all the men blind. It seems like if they could strike them all blind, they could strike them all dead, but our LORD is truly the artist. He struck them blind before raining fire down. Can you imagine how satisfactory it would be to strike your enemies blind and then slowly pick them off one by one with fire and brimstone within a walled city?

It would be the human equivalent of burning ants with a magnifying glass.
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Old 05-01-2010, 06:16 AM
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Default Re: Series of the greatest smitings in the Bible.

Part 3: The escape.


Lot attempts to gather his sons-in-law, but they mock him.

Still in Genesis 19 14And Lot went out, and spake unto his sons in law, which married his daughters, and said, Up, get you out of this place; for the LORD will destroy this city. But he seemed as one that mocked unto his sons in law.

I thought his daughters were virgins. Maybe it was other daughters.

It's time to go. Your Sunday school teacher might have made is sound like they made a run for it once the angels blinded the men of the city, but that's not the case. Those whom were blinded have had all night to run around screaming in darkness. Lot doesn't leave until the next morning.

15And when the morning arose, then the angels hastened Lot, saying, Arise, take thy wife, and thy two daughters, which are here; lest thou be consumed in the iniquity of the city.
17And it came to pass, when they had brought them forth abroad, that he said, Escape for thy life; look not behind thee, neither stay thou in all the plain; escape to the mountain, lest thou be consumed.

The plan is to go to a small city called Zoar.

20Behold now, this city is near to flee unto, and it is a little one: Oh, let me escape thither, (is it not a little one?) and my soul shall live.
22Haste thee, escape thither; for I cannot do anything till thou be come thither. Therefore the name of the city was called Zoar.
23The sun was risen upon the earth when Lot entered into Zoar.

Now that Lot has finally entered the city of Zoar, God can begin His work.

24Then the LORD rained upon Sodom and upon Gomorrah brimstone and fire from the LORD out of heaven;

As we all know Lot's wife looked back and was made a pillar of salt, which must have been the original will of the LORD. He was paving the way for the final chapter of this epic smiting.
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Old 05-01-2010, 07:08 AM
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Default Re: Series of the greatest smitings in the Bible.

Part 4.

Two cities destroyed. Thousands blinded. Someone turned into a pillar of salt. Praise!

When I read this as a boy, I asked my Sunday school teacher about it. She told me that these girls thought they were the only people left in the world. The Scriptures not only contradict this, they prove the opposite.

Remember when Lot entered Zoar? He had go there before God would destroy Sodom and Gomorrah. They clearly knew there were other people alive. They left because Lot was afraid to live there. Probably too many darkies.

30And Lot went up out of Zoar, and dwelt in the mountain, and his two daughters with him; for he feared to dwell in Zoar: and he dwelt in a cave, he and his two daughters.

We all know what happened next. I always wondered how they got this much wine. Did they bring it with them? Was Lot grabbing as many wine kegs as he could the night of the blind people running around?

I have read somewhere else that perhaps Lot planted a vineyard and waited a couple of years. Sure they could grow grapes on a rocky mountainside, but what else could they grow? How did they sustain themselves otherwise?

It's one of those mysteries that I can't answer.

Enough waxing Biblical. I give you Lot and his daughters.

31And the firstborn said unto the younger, Our father is old, and there is not a man in the earth to come in unto us after the manner of all the earth:
32Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father.
33And they made their father drink wine that night: and the firstborn went in, and lay with her father; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose.
34And it came to pass on the morrow, that the firstborn said unto the younger, Behold, I lay yesternight with my father: let us make him drink wine this night also; and go thou in, and lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father.
35And they made their father drink wine that night also: and the younger arose, and lay with him; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose.
36Thus were both the daughters of Lot with child by their father.

The children they bare will at first be allies God protects. Later they will be destroyed by the house of Israel.

37And the first born bare a son, and called his name Moab: the same is the father of the Moabites unto this day.
38And the younger, she also bare a son, and called his name Benammi: the same is the father of the children of Ammon unto this day.
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Last edited by Levi Jones; 05-01-2010 at 08:17 AM.
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Old 09-17-2010, 11:13 PM
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Default Re: Series of the greatest smitings in the Bible.

I was doing a little reading in Ezekiel today when I ran across a gem of a smiting. This one takes place in the future, but boy howdy is it going to be glorious!!

Turn with me to chapter 9. God is going to call up six super soldier men and a guy with a pen.

The man with the pen is going to put a mark on those who are worthy to be saved foreheads. The six super soldiers are going to set things right with God. The way our Awesome LORD who reigns prefers to.

Quote:
2And, behold, six men came from the way of the higher gate, which lieth toward the north, and every man a slaughter weapon in his hand; and one man among them was clothed with linen, with a writer's inkhorn by his side: and they went in, and stood beside the brasen altar.


3And he called to the man clothed with linen, which had the writer's inkhorn by his side;
4And the LORD said unto him, Go through the midst of the city, through the midst of Jerusalem, and set a mark upon the foreheads of the men that sigh and that cry for all the abominations that be done in the midst thereof.


Now, I would ask you to flip to the back of your Bible to Revelation 7, but keep Ezekiel 9 bookmarked.

Lo and behold John is saying almost the exact same thing. We have two sources for this coming smiting, so you know it must be true.

Quote:
3Saying, Hurt not the earth, neither the sea, nor the trees, till we have sealed the servants of our God in their foreheads.
4And I heard the number of them which were sealed: and there were sealed an hundred and forty and four thousand of all the tribes of the children of Israel.
Back to Ezekiel,

Everyone who doesn't get this mark on their forehead is going to die. It's smitin' time!

Quote:
5And to the others he said in mine hearing, Go ye after him through the city, and smite: let not your eye spare, neither have ye pity:
6Slay utterly old and young, both maids, and little children, and women: but come not near any man upon whom is the mark; and begin at my sanctuary. Then they began at the ancient men which were before the house. 7And he said unto them, Defile the house (alternately temple), and fill the courts with the slain: go ye forth. And they went forth, and slew in the city.



Ezekiel asks God why this is necessary, to which God responds.

Quote:
9Then said he unto me, The iniquity of the house of Israel and Judah is exceeding great, and the land is full of blood, and the city full of perverseness: for they say, The LORD hath forsaken the earth, and the LORD seeth not.
10And as for me also, mine eye shall not spare, neither will I have pity, but I will recompense their way upon their head.
That's our LORD! Tough but fair.
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Old 11-24-2010, 05:21 AM
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Default Re: Series of the greatest smitings in the Bible.

David's choice 70,000 smitten

Our story today comes from 1 Chronicles 21. David, like Barak Hussein Osama, has been possessed by Satan. He has decided to take a census for liberal taxation purposes.

1And Satan stood up against Israel, and provoked David to number Israel.
2And David said to Joab and to the rulers of the people, Go, number Israel from Beersheba even to Dan; and bring the number of them to me, that I may know it.


If we ever needed further proof that God is a Republican, here it is. In an act of True Patriotism, the loyal tea party members of Israel all draw their swords at once.

5And Joab gave the sum of the number of the people unto David. And all they of Israel were a thousand thousand and an hundred thousand men that drew sword: and Judah was four hundred threescore and ten thousand men that drew sword.

Now, it is unclear what happened here as God smote Israel. I'm not sure what that means. I do know that God is pissed about taxation..

7And God was displeased with this thing; therefore he smote Israel.

David apologizes to God.

8And David said unto God, I have sinned greatly, because I have done this thing: but now, I beseech thee, do away the iniquity of thy servant; for I have done very foolishly.

David's seer... Yes David had a seer for God, but any other diviner should be put to death. Shout glory!

9And the LORD spake unto Gad, David's seer, saying,
10Go and tell David, saying, Thus saith the LORD, I offer thee three things: choose thee one of them, that I may do it unto thee.

Gad tells David that God has a message for him. God being the all loving creator He is, has allowed David to chose his own punishment. It's either three years of famine throughout the land or three months until David is taken prisoner.

David does the right thing and decides to screw the people.






11So Gad came to David, and said unto him, Thus saith the LORD, Choose thee
12Either three years' famine; or three months to be destroyed before thy foes, while that the sword of thine enemies overtaketh thee; or else three days the sword of the LORD, even the pestilence, in the land, and the angel of the LORD destroying throughout all the coasts of Israel. Now therefore advise thyself what word I shall bring again to him that sent me.

God changes His mind and decides the Israelites have had enough after He has killed 70,000 people.

14So the LORD sent pestilence upon Israel: and there fell of Israel seventy thousand men.

Right before the angel of death is to come to Jerusalem God relents.

15And God sent an angel unto Jerusalem to destroy it: and as he was destroying, the LORD beheld, and he repented him of the evil, and said to the angel that destroyed, It is enough, stay now thine hand. And the angel of the LORD stood by the threshingfloor of Ornan the Jebusite.

Still 70,000 dead is quite the smiting!
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Old 03-19-2011, 09:10 PM
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Default Re: Series of the greatest smitings in the Bible.

Fooling around with Moabites 24,002 dead.

Today's smiting comes from Numbers 25 verses 1-13.

Background

You may recall that Lot, the only righteous man saved from the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, had a couple of virgin daughters. After their escape these virginal daughters get Lot rip roaring drunk two nights in a row and then raped him during this bender. The offspring of Lot and his oldest daughter was Moab. As Gen 19 tells us.

37And the first born bare a son, and called his name Moab: the same is the father of the Moabites unto this day.

God tells the children of Israel to not disturb the land of the Moabites.

Deuteronomy 2:9 And the LORD said unto me, Distress not the Moabites, neither contend with them in battle: for I will not give thee of their land for a possession; because I have given Ar unto the children of Lot for a possession.

God has blessed the Moabites by delivering their land up to them from giants.

12The Horims also dwelt in Seir beforetime; but the children of Esau succeeded them, when they had destroyed them from before them, and dwelt in their stead; as Israel did unto the land of his possession, which the LORD gave unto them.

Moses and company, of course, comply with God's orders and only ask for passage through their cousins' territory to which the Moabites say no forcing the Israelis to march around. This act combined with the hiring of Balaam (the only known man to have a conversation with a donkey) to attempt to curse the Israelites, caused God to exclude them from entering the congregation forever.

Deuteronomy 23:3-4 An Ammonite or Moabite shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD; even to their tenth generation shall they not enter into the congregation of the LORD for ever:
Because they met you not with bread and with water in the way, when ye came forth out of Egypt; and because they hired against thee Balaam the son of Beor of Pethor of Mesopotamia, to curse thee.

The story

I guess the Moabites learned that they could turn the people of Israel away from God by sending their women to seduce them because after the incident with Balaam (Numbers 22-24), the Word tells us.

Numbers 25
1 And Israel abode in Shittim, and the people began to commit whoredom with the daughters of Moab.

Race mixing never ends well because it leads to following other gods.

2 And they called the people unto the sacrifices of their gods: and the people did eat, and bowed down to their gods.
3 And Israel joined himself unto Baalpeor (a baal associated with Mount Pe‘or.): and the anger of the LORD was kindled against Israel.

God demands an act of contrition.

4 And the LORD said unto Moses, Take all the heads of the people, and hang them up before the LORD against the sun, that the fierce anger of the LORD may be turned away from Israel.

Moses is going to slaughter anyone who was involved in the worship of Baal.

And Moses said unto the judges of Israel, Slay ye every one his men that were joined unto Baalpeor.

Talk about being stupid and arrogant. Zimri walks right in front of Moses and the assembled Israelites who are prostrate bowing and begging for forgiveness with some Midianite whore named Cozbi.





Not this Cozbi!

6And, behold, one of the children of Israel came and brought unto his brethren a Midianitish woman in the sight of Moses, and in the sight of all the congregation of the children of Israel, who were weeping before the door of the tabernacle of the congregation.

Two dead by spear.

7 And when Phinehas, the son of Eleazar, the son of Aaron the priest, saw it, he rose up from among the congregation, and took a javelin in his hand;

8 And he went after the man of Israel into the tent, and thrust both of them through, the man of Israel, and the woman through her belly. So the plague was stayed from the children of Israel.

Wait, what plague? The one that the author forgot to tell us that was raging through the Israelites as punishment for whoring with the daughters of Moab.

God only smites 24,000 for the transgression.

9 And those that died in the plague were twenty and four thousand.

Thank God Phinehas killed Zimri and Cozbi or God was going to kill everyone.

10 And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,

11 Phinehas, the son of Eleazar, the son of Aaron the priest, hath turned my wrath away from the children of Israel, while he was zealous for my sake among them, that I consumed not the children of Israel in my jealousy.

Did God see Phinehas' act as murder? Of course not. God rewards him for stabbing the two God mockers.

12Wherefore say, Behold, I give unto him my covenant of peace:
13And he shall have it, and his seed after him, even the covenant of an everlasting priesthood; because he was zealous for his God, and made an atonement for the children of Israel.

Thus ends today's lesson. God hates race mixing and worshipers of other gods. God also rewards those willing to smite in his name, according to the Bible.
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Old 04-09-2011, 01:02 AM
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Default Re: Series of the greatest smitings in the Bible.

Today's story comes from Judges 19-21. It's not really the smiting that is so important, but the cause and after effects. I'm going to do this one in three parts.

You might want to put the kids to bed for this one. It is truly a story of epic betrayal and smiting on so many levels.

The Background

It all begins with our anti-hero a Levite priest. He is unnamed in this story. We only know him as the Levite.

Our main character has taken a concubine of Bethlehemjudah. A nice Jewish girl.

Judges 19:1 And it came to pass in those days, when there was no king in Israel, that there was a certain Levite sojourning on the side of mount Ephraim, who took to him a concubine out of Bethlehemjudah.

This woman cheats on him and then runs off to her father's house. Whore!

2And his concubine played the whore against him, and went away from him unto her father's house to Bethlehemjudah, and was there four whole months.

Being the gutless fellow he is, he runs after her to her father's to try to talk some sense into her instead of kicking her to the curb.

And her husband arose, and went after her, to speak friendly unto her

Total beta move. The father of the unnamed woman comes to greet him. They go through this ritual every day of the Levite trying to leave with his woman and the father asking him to stay to eat and drink another night. Finally after the sixth day the Levite would tarry no longer. He has to split. I think this may have angered God. The man sitting idly around eating and drinking for 6 days.

No thanks. I would rather stay among my own

The man, his servant and his concubine come to a Jebusite town. The servant wants them to stay there for the night, but the Levite says no.
He wants to travel on further to a town that the Benjamites, his fellow Jewish cousins own.

12 We will not turn aside hither into the city of a stranger, that is not of the children of Israel; we will pass over to Gibeah.
14And they passed on and went their way; and the sun went down upon them when they were by Gibeah, which belongeth to Benjamin.

The Levite comes to Gibeah that his fellow Jewish cousins own and there he meets an old man. The two get to talking and it is decided that the Levite and his family will stay there. Everything is working out splendidly.

18 there is no man that receiveth me to house.
19Yet there is both straw and provender for our asses; and there is bread and wine also for me, and for thy handmaid, and for the young man which is with thy servants: there is no want of any thing.
20And the old man said, Peace be with thee; howsoever let all thy wants lie upon me; only lodge not in the street.
21So he brought him into his house, and gave provender unto the asses: and they washed their feet, and did eat and drink.

Sodomites at the dooragain? I thought we went over this already.

Then suddenly there comes a knock at the door. A mob has formed at the old man's house wanting to rape the Levite.

Judges 19:22 Bring forth the man that came into thine house, that we may know him.

Hmmm, sounds familiar to some other story I might have read. In the other story, God punishes the offenders more quickly. This event must be completely unrelated.

The old man the master of the house walks outside and talks to them offering his virgin daughter (Only one this time) and the Levite's concubine.

24Behold, here is my daughter a maiden, and his concubine; them I will bring out now, and humble ye them, and do with them what seemeth good unto you: but unto this man do not so vile a thing.

The Rape

The men would not listen, so the Levite took his concubine and threw her out to the crowd where they commenced to rape her all night long.

25But the men would not hearken to him: so the man took his concubine, and brought her forth unto them; and they knew her, and abused her all the night until the morning: and when the day began to spring, they let her go.

After the mob had raped her all night long, the Levite found his concubine dead on the steps of his host's house.

27And her lord rose up in the morning, and opened the doors of the house, and went out to go his way: and, behold, the woman his concubine was fallen down at the door of the house, and her hands were upon the threshold.

Chopping her up after she was raped to death.


The Levite proceeds to cut his concubine to into 12 pieces to send a piece to each of the tribes of Israel.

And when he was come into his house, he took a knife, and laid hold on his concubine, and divided her, together with her bones, into twelve pieces, and sent her into all the coasts of Israel.

The smiting can proceed against the Benjamites now.



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Old 04-09-2011, 02:25 AM
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Default Re: Series of the greatest smitings in the Bible.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson View Post
Today's story comes from Judges 19-21. It's not really the smiting that is so important, but the cause and after effects. I'm going to do this one in three parts.

You might want to put the kids to bed for this one. It is truly a story of epic betrayal and smiting on so many levels.

The Background

It all begins with our anti-hero a Levite priest. He is unnamed in this story. We only know him as the Levite.

Our main character has taken a concubine of Bethlehemjudah. A nice Jewish girl.

Judges 19:1 And it came to pass in those days, when there was no king in Israel, that there was a certain Levite sojourning on the side of mount Ephraim, who took to him a concubine out of Bethlehemjudah.

This woman cheats on him and then runs off to her father's house.

2And his concubine played the whore against him, and went away from him unto her father's house to Bethlehemjudah, and was there four whole months.

Being the gutless fellow he is, he runs after her to her father's to try to talk some sense into her instead of kicking her to the curb.

And her husband arose, and went after her, to speak friendly unto her

Total beta move. The father of the unnamed woman comes to greet him. They go through this ritual every day of the Levite trying to leave with his woman and the father asking him to stay to eat and drink another night. Finally after the sixth day the Levite would tarry no longer. He has to split. I think this may have angered God. The man sitting idly around eating and drinking for 6 days.

The man, his servant and his concubine come to a Jebusite town. The servant wants them to stay there for the night, but the Levite says no.
He wants to travel on further to a town that the Benjamites that his fellow Jewish cousins own.

12 We will not turn aside hither into the city of a stranger, that is not of the children of Israel; we will pass over to Gibeah.
14And they passed on and went their way; and the sun went down upon them when they were by Gibeah, which belongeth to Benjamin.

The Levite comes to Gibeah that his fellow Jewish cousins own and there he meets an old man. The two get to talking and it is decided that the Levite and his family will stay there. Everything is working out splendidly.

18 there is no man that receiveth me to house.
19Yet there is both straw and provender for our asses; and there is bread and wine also for me, and for thy handmaid, and for the young man which is with thy servants: there is no want of any thing.
20And the old man said, Peace be with thee; howsoever let all thy wants lie upon me; only lodge not in the street.
21So he brought him into his house, and gave provender unto the asses: and they washed their feet, and did eat and drink.

Then suddenly there comes a knock at the door. A mob has formed at the old man's house wanting to rape the Levite.

Judges 19:22 Bring forth the man that came into thine house, that we may know him.

Hmmm, sounds familiar to some other story I might have read. In the other story, God punishes the offenders more quickly. This event must be completely unrelated.

The old man the master of the house walks outside and talks to them offering his virgin daughter (Only one this time) and the Levite's concubine.

24Behold, here is my daughter a maiden, and his concubine; them I will bring out now, and humble ye them, and do with them what seemeth good unto you: but unto this man do not so vile a thing.

The men would not listen, so the Levite took his concubine and threw her out to the crowd where they commenced to rape her all night long.

25But the men would not hearken to him: so the man took his concubine, and brought her forth unto them; and they knew her, and abused her all the night until the morning: and when the day began to spring, they let her go.

After the mob had raped her all night long, the Levite found his concubine dead on the steps of his host's house.

27And her lord rose up in the morning, and opened the doors of the house, and went out to go his way: and, behold, the woman his concubine was fallen down at the door of the house, and her hands were upon the threshold.

The man proceeds to cut his concubine to into 12 pieces to send a piece to each of the tribes of Israel.

The smiting can proceed against the Benjamites now.



Hmm... Dont get me wrong, I love all of the word of God, but this smiting tends to just make me shrug and grin... I like the ones that make me rub my hands together in amusment
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Old 04-09-2011, 02:32 AM
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Default Re: Series of the greatest smitings in the Bible.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Heather95 View Post
Hmm... Dont get me wrong, I love all of the word of God, but this smiting tends to just make me shrug and grin... I like the ones that make me rub my hands together in amusment
Opening part, grasshopper. It's a three parter. You could always read ahead in the source material if you are so excited to see what happens.
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Old 04-09-2011, 07:03 PM
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Default Re: Series of the greatest smitings in the Bible.

Part 2 The council and the civil war.

This section comes from Judges 20. The tribes, having received their piece of concubine flesh, call a council at Gilead at a place specifically called the Mizpah loosely translated as watchtower.

At this council 400,000 armed men have gathered to hear the tale of the chopped up concubine. The Levite recounts the story and the tribes of Israel agree that their cousins the Benjamites are responsible for the act.

The tribes march to Gibeah the place where the rape had occurred and demand the lives of the men responsible for this. The Benjamites refuse their kinsman's request for justice.

Not only do they refuse the request, but they had heard back in verse 3 that the children of Israel were gathering this council. I suppose they took the time to prepare for war, because as soon as the tribes of Israel ask for the murderous sodomite rapists, the people of the tribes of Benjamin go on the offensive.

The order of Battle

On the Benjamite side Judges 20 tells us that they had 26,000 men. The city where the rape took place, Gibeah also sent 700 men to the battle. Among the Benjamites were 700 specialized left handers that could throw a stone at something no larger than a hair and not miss.

I'm sure that if Major League Baseball had existed at the time, they would have been salivating at the prospect.



On the Israeli side they have 400,000 men with sword.

It should be no contest. The Benjamites are in the wrong. God Himself has spoken on the matter and tells them that the men of Judah should be the first to attack (verse 18.)

I guess God told them to send Judah first to test the resolve of Israel, because the tribes go for it head on and get their butts kicked.

Day one: 22,000 good guys smitten

21And the children of Benjamin came forth out of Gibeah, and destroyed down to the ground of the Israelites that day twenty and two thousand men.

Discouraged by their route at the hand of 25,000 men of Benjamin vs. 400,000 of Israel. The tribes of Israel try again with the same battle array and same game plan. They charge at Gibeah again, but this time before they do, they ask God again, "Should we do this?" God says, verse 23 "Go up against him."

God said it they do it and the result?

Day two: 18,000 good guys smitten.


Judges 20:25 And Benjamin went forth against them out of Gibeah the second day, and destroyed down to the ground of the children of Israel again eighteen thousand men; all these drew the sword.

Satan must have a tight grip on the Benjamites or the children of God just don't have enough faith because they have lost 40,000 men against the Benjamites 25,000 or so total soldiers.

Day three the Israelites are beside themselves. They go to the house of the LORD, fast and burn offerings.

27And the children of Israel enquired of the LORD, (for the ark of the covenant of God was there in those days,


I mean, I'm sure they didn't really think the ark of the covenant actually contained Yahweh or anything, but they make their contrition just the same.

28And Phinehas, the son of Eleazar, the son of Aaron, stood before it in those days,) saying, Shall I yet again go out to battle against the children of Benjamin my brother, or shall I cease? And the LORD said, Go up; for to morrow I will deliver them into thine hand.

Do you remember Phinehas? He was the righteous priest who killed the Israelite and Moabite woman for miscegenation staving off Yahweh's righteous anger from destroying all of Israel.

Day three: This time God guarantees victory!

This time the Israelites send out men into the field to set an ambush.
On the third day the Israelites line up and march into the field of battle looking exactly like the same army that had been routed the previous two days. The battle begins in the same way looking like another clear victory for the Benjamites. Then the Israeli army does a feigned retreat to draw the men of Benjamin from the city.

The Benjamites are confident that they can finish it and have a clear victory over the Israelis.

32And the children of Benjamin said, They are smitten down before us, as at the first. But the children of Israel said, Let us flee, and draw them from the city unto the highways.

Now, it's time to spring the trap. The men that were in ambush are behind the enemies lines. They make a run for the supplies and sleeping places in Gibeah while the Benjamite army is away pursuing the Israelites.

The men in ambush destroy the enemy camp at Gibeah and then the Benjamite army is stuck between 10,000 soldiers at their rear and a few hundred thousand at their front.

46So that all which fell that day of Benjamin were twenty and five thousand men that drew the sword; all these were men of valour.



So evil was finally punished that day at a very high cost in life.

65,000 dead

Up next: the aftermath of the civil war. The oath against the Benjamites and the Jews sympathy for their cousins in the face of their oath.
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Old 05-18-2011, 10:10 PM
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Thumbs up Re: Series of the greatest smitings in the Bible.

Alright. I'm finally getting around to this. Sorry for the delay.

I finally present to you...

Part 3 The aftermath of the civil war.


This section comes from Judges 21. Before the Benjamite vs. Israel civil war the rest of Israel swore that they would never allow the Benjamites to marry their daughters.

Judges 21:1 Now the men of Israel had sworn in Mizpeh, saying, There shall not any of us give his daughter unto Benjamin to wife.

This causes God to feel sorry by the lack of one of His tribes marital prospects.

Judges 21:3 And said, O LORD God of Israel, why is this come to pass in Israel, that there should be to day one tribe lacking in Israel?

Surprisingly enough, the people of Israel agree with God. They hold a council to decide what should be done. Is is decided that anyone who didn't show up to kill the Benjamites will have to give wives to them. So that's exactly what they do.

Judges 21:8 And, behold, there came none to the camp from Jabeshgilead to the assembly.

So they are going to send people to purchase and negotiate for wives for their cousins the Benjamites, right?

Um, not quite. They have a completely different idea.

Judges 21:10-11
And the congregation sent thither twelve thousand men of the valiantest, and commanded them, saying, Go and smite the inhabitants of Jabeshgilead with the edge of the sword, with the women and the children.
And this is the thing that ye shall do, Ye shall utterly destroy every male, and every woman that hath lain by man.

This sounds rather familiar. I think I may have read something similar in Numbers 31. Of course this is an equally good cause, like hiring Balaam to curse Israel. This is a punishment for not helping kill the Benjamites, by giving all their virginal women to the the tribe of Benjamin. Makes sense..

Judges 21:12 And they found among the inhabitants of Jabeshgilead four hundred young virgins, that had known no man by lying with any male: and they brought them unto the camp to Shiloh, which is in the land of Canaan.


The Benjamites carry off their captives.

400 virgins. That's quite a score! The matter is closed, right?

Er, not quite.

Judges 21:14
And Benjamin came again at that time; and they gave them wives which they had saved alive of the women of Jabeshgilead: and yet so they sufficed them not.

We need more virgins!


The elders of Israel speak again lamenting that God has caused a breech in one of the tribes and without more wives the tribe of Benjamin will die out.
They still can't marry their daughters to them, so they come up with another elegant solution.

They tell the Benjamites about a festival held at Shiloh.

19Then they said, Behold, there is a feast of the LORD in Shiloh yearly in a place which is on the north side of Bethel, on the east side of the highway that goeth up from Bethel to Shechem, and on the south of Lebonah.
20Therefore they commanded the children of Benjamin, saying, Go and lie in wait in the vineyards;
21And see, and, behold, if the daughters of Shiloh come out to dance in dances, then come ye out of the vineyards, and catch you every man his wife of the daughters of Shiloh, and go to the land of Benjamin.

They are going to wait in the bushes until the women come and dance. I'm sure they just want to talk to them and ask them on dates, right? Right?


23And the children of Benjamin did so, and took them wives, according to their number, of them that danced, whom they caught: and they went and returned unto their inheritance, and repaired the cities, and dwelt in them.

Praise God. Another great smiting. He is great!
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Old 06-03-2011, 06:33 PM
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Default Re: Series of the greatest smitings in the Bible.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson View Post
Part 3: The escape.


Lot attempts to gather his sons-in-law, but they mock him.

Still in Genesis 19 14And Lot went out, and spake unto his sons in law, which married his daughters, and said, Up, get you out of this place; for the LORD will destroy this city. But he seemed as one that mocked unto his sons in law.

I thought his daughters were virgins. Maybe it was other daughters.

It's time to go. Your Sunday school teacher might have made is sound like they made a run for it once the angels blinded the men of the city, but that's not the case. Those whom were blinded have had all night to run around screaming in darkness. Lot doesn't leave until the next morning.

15And when the morning arose, then the angels hastened Lot, saying, Arise, take thy wife, and thy two daughters, which are here; lest thou be consumed in the iniquity of the city.
17And it came to pass, when they had brought them forth abroad, that he said, Escape for thy life; look not behind thee, neither stay thou in all the plain; escape to the mountain, lest thou be consumed.

The plan is to go to a small city called Zoar.

20Behold now, this city is near to flee unto, and it is a little one: Oh, let me escape thither, (is it not a little one?) and my soul shall live.
22Haste thee, escape thither; for I cannot do anything till thou be come thither. Therefore the name of the city was called Zoar.
23The sun was risen upon the earth when Lot entered into Zoar.

Now that Lot has finally entered the city of Zoar, God can begin His work.

24Then the LORD rained upon Sodom and upon Gomorrah brimstone and fire from the LORD out of heaven;

As we all know Lot's wife looked back and was made a pillar of salt, which must have been the original will of the LORD. He was paving the way for the final chapter of this epic smiting.
You know what one of my favourites is? The slaughter of the prophets of Ba'al, when Elijah won the contest. He sure taught them to not kill innocent people!
(Of course, the smilies in that image are not innocent; just look at their violent and threatening actions! But, like God smote people who murdered and oppressed others, God could smite those smilies...)

Last edited by DDM1985; 06-03-2011 at 06:35 PM. Reason: Forgot to explain why I added the smilie-picture to the post.
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