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The Truth behind Darwin and the sub-races
Everybody knows that Darwin was on a cruise in the Galapogus Islands when he invented evolution.
Everybody also knows that a long enough time at sea will result in even the staunchest Christian men experimenting with sodomy. Add to this a stop in some steamy exotic port filled with strangely-colored prostitutes and you can understand how Darwin's cruise on the Beagle was actually an odyssey into debauchery and depraved sin.
While in a Brazillian house of ill repute, Darwin aquired a taste for "dark meat". While there is nothing inherently sinful in this (half of the Song of Solomon consists of a Godly man praising the sexual functionality of the negress body*) it is obvious that Darwin's fetish soon became a love affair.
Darwin, now a negro-lover, had to find some way to claim that there was a hope that someday the negro species might someday be as good as humans. The Victorian notion of "civilizing the savage" was at this point in the process of disproving itself, so a new theory had to be made. So Darwin invented evolution: "rats transformed into monkeys, monkeys transformed into negros, and then negros transformed into jews which transformed into humans!"
The result has been all sorts of madness: vegetarians refuse to eat cows for fear their hamburger might evolve into a person, devil-rockers raise money for Africa, thinking that by the time the money arrives the negros will have evolved into people, and most absurd of all, pet owners replace children with pets, thinking that their animal will evolve and spare them the Biblically commanded pain of Childbirth! (Genesis 3:16)
In short, Darwin invented evolution to exploit humanity's age-old question: where did all these disgusting brown people come from and what the heck are they for, anyway? The best way to eliminate evolution is to answer this question once and for all.
In the beginning, God created Adam, in his own likeness. In short, Adam was like God's twin brother - in modern terms, he was God's "clone". The God took Adam's rib, and used to to create a female twin, or "clone" in the form of Eve.
So Adam, Eve and God would have looked identical, with the exception of gender differences for Eve. What did they look like? Well, seeing as they speak English, they would have been Caucasian, most likely blonde and blue-eyed. From Adam and Eve decended all of humanity.
But wait, if we're all decended from a pair of identical twins, we should all be indentical to Adam and Eve in every way. Anything else would mean evolution would have to be happening. So where did all these unGodly "genes" come from?
There are two sources. The other races could have been animals from the Garden of Eden, those same animals Adam gave names to in Genesis 2:19. Just look at the names of the sub-races: "wetbacks", "negros" (knee-grows, refering to the length of the sin-stick), "camel-humpers" these were the names Adam gave to these particular animals, after a long day of animal-naming, when he was tired and running out of ideas.
But where do intelligent, scheming, devious sub-races come from? Surely God would not have created something as dangerous as the Semites (Jews and Arabs). Well, everything has to be created by something, and if it's not created by God, it's created by Satan.
(Of course, many of us are only part-animal or part-satanic, for example blond people with green eyes.)
Some people who have heard my theory have gotten angry, and disagreed with me, but nobody has ever given a reasonale, Bible-based refutation. The logic is flawless:
1. God Created Adam in the image of God
2. God created Eve in the image of Adam, meaning, also in the image of God
3. Since evolution does not exist, all 6.5 billion people on Earth should be exactly like Adam and Eve
4. Yet they aren't
5. Therefore anyone who doesn't look exactly like Adam or Eve, is either an animal or a creation of Satan
Don't give me any "God created races after the tower of Babel" this is not in the Bible, and if God suddenly created the ancestors of 99.9999% of humanity in a miracle, would be written in the Bible. Arguments without Biblical citations will automatically lose the debate!
Notes:
Song Of Solomon:
1:5 I am black, but comely, O ye daughters of Jerusalem, as the tents of Kedar, as the curtains of Solomon.
1:6 Look not upon me, because I am black...
Everybody knows that Darwin was on a cruise in the Galapogus Islands when he invented evolution.
Everybody also knows that a long enough time at sea will result in even the staunchest Christian men experimenting with sodomy. Add to this a stop in some steamy exotic port filled with strangely-colored prostitutes and you can understand how Darwin's cruise on the Beagle was actually an odyssey into debauchery and depraved sin.
While in a Brazillian house of ill repute, Darwin aquired a taste for "dark meat". While there is nothing inherently sinful in this (half of the Song of Solomon consists of a Godly man praising the sexual functionality of the negress body*) it is obvious that Darwin's fetish soon became a love affair.
Darwin, now a negro-lover, had to find some way to claim that there was a hope that someday the negro species might someday be as good as humans. The Victorian notion of "civilizing the savage" was at this point in the process of disproving itself, so a new theory had to be made. So Darwin invented evolution: "rats transformed into monkeys, monkeys transformed into negros, and then negros transformed into jews which transformed into humans!"
The result has been all sorts of madness: vegetarians refuse to eat cows for fear their hamburger might evolve into a person, devil-rockers raise money for Africa, thinking that by the time the money arrives the negros will have evolved into people, and most absurd of all, pet owners replace children with pets, thinking that their animal will evolve and spare them the Biblically commanded pain of Childbirth! (Genesis 3:16)
In short, Darwin invented evolution to exploit humanity's age-old question: where did all these disgusting brown people come from and what the heck are they for, anyway? The best way to eliminate evolution is to answer this question once and for all.
In the beginning, God created Adam, in his own likeness. In short, Adam was like God's twin brother - in modern terms, he was God's "clone". The God took Adam's rib, and used to to create a female twin, or "clone" in the form of Eve.
So Adam, Eve and God would have looked identical, with the exception of gender differences for Eve. What did they look like? Well, seeing as they speak English, they would have been Caucasian, most likely blonde and blue-eyed. From Adam and Eve decended all of humanity.
But wait, if we're all decended from a pair of identical twins, we should all be indentical to Adam and Eve in every way. Anything else would mean evolution would have to be happening. So where did all these unGodly "genes" come from?
There are two sources. The other races could have been animals from the Garden of Eden, those same animals Adam gave names to in Genesis 2:19. Just look at the names of the sub-races: "wetbacks", "negros" (knee-grows, refering to the length of the sin-stick), "camel-humpers" these were the names Adam gave to these particular animals, after a long day of animal-naming, when he was tired and running out of ideas.
But where do intelligent, scheming, devious sub-races come from? Surely God would not have created something as dangerous as the Semites (Jews and Arabs). Well, everything has to be created by something, and if it's not created by God, it's created by Satan.
(Of course, many of us are only part-animal or part-satanic, for example blond people with green eyes.)
Some people who have heard my theory have gotten angry, and disagreed with me, but nobody has ever given a reasonale, Bible-based refutation. The logic is flawless:
1. God Created Adam in the image of God
2. God created Eve in the image of Adam, meaning, also in the image of God
3. Since evolution does not exist, all 6.5 billion people on Earth should be exactly like Adam and Eve
4. Yet they aren't
5. Therefore anyone who doesn't look exactly like Adam or Eve, is either an animal or a creation of Satan
Don't give me any "God created races after the tower of Babel" this is not in the Bible, and if God suddenly created the ancestors of 99.9999% of humanity in a miracle, would be written in the Bible. Arguments without Biblical citations will automatically lose the debate!
Notes:
Song Of Solomon:
1:5 I am black, but comely, O ye daughters of Jerusalem, as the tents of Kedar, as the curtains of Solomon.
1:6 Look not upon me, because I am black...
The manuscripts that later became On The Origin of Species are going online for the first time. The good guys at the Cambridge University library, who were the only people with access beforehand, have put Charles Darwin's notes on his book and another 20,000 archive items online, turning it into one vast educational/scientific resource. Apparently it's actually so vast that if you downloaded one image a minute, it'd take you two months to view it all. 
Darwin's theory on evolution influenced many science disciplines
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