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Promise Enforcers - Men Only! We make Promise Keepers look like homers! No homosexuals or women allowed!

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  #1  
Old 08-19-2010, 12:44 AM
Brother Harold Porter Brother Harold Porter is offline
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Default Marijuana Makes You Gay

Brothers,

Praise Christ that True Christians™ are never tempted by the Devil's weed!

The results are in from Landover University. A carefully controlled double blind study in which half of the 20 male participants smoked oregano and the other half cannibis, a Schedule I narcotic.

The prinicpal finding of the study is that ingestion of THC, in any amount, lowers your inhibitions and self control. Men normally adverse to immoral conduct threw their conscience out the window after a bong hit.

In short, 100 percent of the uninhibited men that were stoned engaged in either autofellatio or sodomy. All ten men regretted the experience the next day. Most are in counseling and being tested for AIDS and rectumosis. They universally agree that it was marijuana that lead to the depravity and would not have engaged in such filth if not under the influence.

Praise Jesus Christ for the War on Drugs!
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  #2  
Old 08-19-2010, 05:56 AM
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Default Re: Marijuana Makes You Gay

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Harold Porter View Post
In short, 100 percent of the uninhibited men that were stoned engaged in either autofellatio or sodomy.
AUTOfellatio, Brother?

Does the marijuana also enhance flexibility? Or something else . . .
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Old 08-19-2010, 07:23 PM
Brother Harold Porter Brother Harold Porter is offline
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Default Re: Marijuana Makes You Gay

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
AUTOfellatio, Brother?

Does the marijuana also enhance flexibility? Or something else . . .
Reverend,

This nasty substance doesn't actually increase flexibility. But one thing our study found is that, as proponents of its legalization suggest, it is a powerful anesthetic. Combined with the psychotic effect of suspending all morality, the over-articulation of the spine (that would normally be quite painful) is not an issue.

To be clear though, self-service was only observed in the subjects that were alone. All subjects indicated that wicked sodomy was the overwhelming preference while under the influence of the Devil.

Pray that this dangerous drug is completely eradicated!
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Old 08-19-2010, 11:53 PM
Brother Harold Porter Brother Harold Porter is offline
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Default Re: Marijuana Makes You Gay

Brothers in Christ,

It is with a heavy heart that I disclose the clinical reports on the aftermath of the experiment.

Sadly, all ten men that participated in wicked self-fornication or savaged the colons of other men have been infected with the AIDS and acute rectumosis. I was at first skeptical of the reports. How could self-copulation or being a power top put one at risk of the disease?

As I gathered with the Sodomites in my office, they were in tears asking "why, why, why"? Of course, I turned to Scripture and quickly found the answer:

Quote:
"Wherefore doth a living man complain, a man for the punishment of his sins?" Lamentations 3:39 - KJV
It is clear that God will righteously punish the gays with what they deserve.

So Brothers, the next time a heathen friend suggests that marijuana is a "harmless" narcotic, point them to my study before they suffer the same fate as these once healthy young men. An hour of being under the influence of Satan's weed lead to ruined rectums, disease and a lifetime of despair. I asked them if it was worth it?

I need to study the psychologists' reports before I can address the long term effects of cannibis-induced homosexuality.

In Christ!
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  #5  
Old 08-21-2010, 04:22 PM
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Default Re: Marijuana Makes You Gay

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Harold Porter View Post
Brothers in Christ,

It is with a heavy heart that I disclose the clinical reports on the aftermath of the experiment.

Sadly, all ten men that participated in wicked self-fornication or savaged the colons of other men have been infected with the AIDS and acute rectumosis. I was at first skeptical of the reports. How could self-copulation or being a power top put one at risk of the disease?

As I gathered with the Sodomites in my office, they were in tears asking "why, why, why"? Of course, I turned to Scripture and quickly found the answer:
It is clear that God will righteously punish the gays with what they deserve.

So Brothers, the next time a heathen friend suggests that marijuana is a "harmless" narcotic, point them to my study before they suffer the same fate as these once healthy young men. An hour of being under the influence of Satan's weed lead to ruined rectums, disease and a lifetime of despair. I asked them if it was worth it?

I need to study the psychologists' reports before I can address the long term effects of cannibis-induced homosexuality.

In Christ!
You are a funny man ,Brother Harold Porter. The quote is not an answer. Its just a quote.

I do not say cannabis and marihuana is without concern for your health, but it does not make you gay - just stoned.
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Old 08-21-2010, 04:45 PM
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Default Re: Marijuana Makes You Gay

That's how they soften you up. (That's a euphemism).
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Old 08-21-2010, 05:03 PM
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Default Re: Marijuana Makes You Gay

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Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
That's how they soften you up. (That's a euphemism).
I have never been approached by a gay guy for sex, while stoned - what about you?
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Old 08-21-2010, 05:22 PM
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Default Re: Marijuana Makes You Gay

Quote:
Originally Posted by Grapes View Post
I have never been approached by a gay guy for sex, while stoned - what about you?
You're not the only sample in the set. Lots of times you don't realize your friend is a homo and then they use the weed to make it easy to take advantage of you and turn you gay.

What is good about that?

Edit-- you must be a pretty ugly dude. Myself, I do my best to identify fags and stay away from them; I don't need that kind of attention.
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Old 08-21-2010, 05:29 PM
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Default Re: Marijuana Makes You Gay

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
You're not the only sample in the set. Lots of times you don't realize your friend is a homo and then they use the weed to make it easy to take advantage of you and turn you gay.

What is good about that?

Edit-- you must be a pretty ugly dude. Myself, I do my best to identify fags and stay away from them; I don't need that kind of attention.
You are not seroius Nobar. You just make things up, but its funny though.
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Old 08-21-2010, 05:44 PM
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Default Re: Marijuana Makes You Gay

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
Edit-- you must be a pretty ugly dude. Myself, I do my best to identify fags and stay away from them; I don't need that kind of attention.
Well you would most likely turn gay if you met me Its not that hard to identify gays, but keep away frome them is your own choice. Gay may appreciate you kept away frome them.
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Old 08-21-2010, 09:59 PM
Brother Harold Porter Brother Harold Porter is offline
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Default Re: Marijuana Makes You Gay

Quote:
Originally Posted by Grapes View Post
I do not say cannabis and marihuana is without concern for your health, but it does not make you gay - just stoned.
In your case, marijuana would not make you gay because you are already a flaming bottom queen accustomed to foul sin with strange men every day, sober or under the influence. But our study has proven conclusively that men not already afflicted with gayness will certainly become rectum-ravaging Sodomites under the influence of this foul weed.

With God's grace, they will repent and their colons will heal. But the AIDS is their punishment from God and they must live the rest of their lives as the walking biohazard that they are.

You can be saved too if you come to Jesus. You'll always have the AIDS and likely need a permanent colostomy when your rectumosis becomes acute due to the constant abuse, but Jesus will love you anyway.

In Christ
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Old 08-21-2010, 11:41 PM
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Default Re: Marijuana Makes You Gay

Here is the other side effect of marijuana.


As bad as this it is gets WORSE!



Hellywood Liebrul and pot smoker Jack Nicholson looking for a few "good" men to sodomize!!


Here is what years of pot use can do!
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Old 08-26-2010, 01:45 AM
Brother Harold Porter Brother Harold Porter is offline
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Default Re: Marijuana Makes You Gay

Quote:
Originally Posted by TC Patriot View Post
Here is the other side effect of marijuana.

Bless you Brother Patriot!

I see the photos from the clinical study have already been leaked. I needed to get consent from our subject Juan Camacho (pictured) before I could comment.

As you know, we did exhaustive psychological workups on all subjects before and after the case study. Juan was one of our most complex personalities. He confided before the test that he was an atheist and had sinned when thinking of homosexual encounters in the past. But as with most sane men bound by law, he knew not to cross the line and actually live out his wicked fantasy.

Marijuana changed this and we are struggling to save his soul before it is too late.

But before we get to his depravity, it's important to address a few criticisms recently printed in the press.

First, of course no Christian men were involved in the study as there would be no point. No Christian man entertains homosexual thoughts and would never inhale marijuana, no matter what. Praise Jesus Christ!. To attempt to get a Christian man to participate in such a study would be as futile as attempting to herd cats; won't happen.

Second, the marijuana was obtained from the Freehold Police Department evidence locker, but only after the potheads arrested within our jurisdiction were convicted. No, we did not "sin" by purchasing "skunk" on the streets. But we were assured by detectives that this was some of the most potent marijuana available.

Third, yes "Jesus would agree" with our study. If we can save hundreds of thousands of foul sinners before they give their life over to Satan and Sodomy with our proof of "the first step to Hell", He would indeed approve. The alternative is much worse. Millions of drug addicted gays with AIDS that will never bother with His Word.

Back to Juan. Already entertaining wicked fantasies, he was eager to be the first to ingest THC. After the first "hit", he began gyrating his hips in his chair. After the second, he removed his pants. To make a long story short, it took just three applications of marijuana before he was on the carpet being willfully and repeatedly sodomized by the other subjects, with a smile on his face.

Juan is one of the few patients that we might lose. While most were remorseful for the daisy chain of sin, Juan insisted on Estrogen therapy and the result is what you see in the photograph. Pray that we can save him with Jesus Christ!

This is a very dangerous substance, Brothers. We plan phase two of the study next week to prove that unsaved women are just as susceptible to lesbanianism from marijuana as heathen men are to gayness.

In Christ
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Old 08-26-2010, 01:49 AM
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Default Re: Marijuana Makes You Gay

I know marijuana can cause gayness because I once met a gay and he was an avid pot smoker. So I'm a first-hand witness to this.
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Old 08-26-2010, 02:28 AM
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Default Re: Marijuana Makes You Gay

FYI, the Playtex Cross Your Heart bras are on sale at Wallyworld.
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  #16  
Old 08-26-2010, 02:43 AM
Choir Girl Choir Girl is offline
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Default Re: Marijuana Makes You Gay

Brother Harold, I'm sure if you make tracks down to Wallyworld while the Playtex bras are on sale you'll have your pick of subjects for your next trial.
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  #17  
Old 08-26-2010, 02:44 AM
Brother Harold Porter Brother Harold Porter is offline
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Default Re: Marijuana Makes You Gay

Quote:
Originally Posted by Choir Girl View Post
FYI, the Playtex Cross Your Heart bras are on sale at Wallyworld.
Sister,

This forum is for "Men Only". Do you see any True Christian™ men offering you advice on how to scrub toilets or boil water?

Please remember your place
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  #18  
Old 08-26-2010, 02:57 AM
Choir Girl Choir Girl is offline
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Default Re: Marijuana Makes You Gay

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Harold Porter View Post
Sister,

This forum is for "Men Only". Do you see any True Christian™ men offering you advice on how to scrub toilets or boil water?

Please remember your place
No sir, but if you have a better way to do so please share your enginewity with us less fortunate.
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  #19  
Old 08-26-2010, 03:26 AM
Brother Harold Porter Brother Harold Porter is offline
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Brother Harold Porter will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Harold Porter will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Harold Porter will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Harold Porter will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Harold Porter will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Harold Porter will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Harold Porter will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Harold Porter will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Harold Porter will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Harold Porter will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Harold Porter will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Marijuana Makes You Gay

Quote:
Originally Posted by Choir Girl View Post
No sir, but if you have a better way to do so please share your enginewity with us less fortunate.
I see I am going to have trouble with you Sister. Opening your yap in the Church (and this IS Landover Baptist Church) is strictly prohibited. Further, it is a "Men Only" forum, as decided upon by True Christian™ Men. This isn't "Dr. Phil" or the "Oprah Winfrey Show" where you can blab on and on about nothingness.

Do you love Jesus or not?

Quote:
"Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law." 1 Corinthians 14:34 - KJV
Walk with Jesus
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  #20  
Old 08-26-2010, 04:55 AM
BelieverInGod BelieverInGod is offline
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Default Re: Marijuana Makes You Gay

Well I just came across this, the original is from the secular Ad Council, so even they know the truth.

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