FINALLY! 15 homo signs every wife should look for in her "man"

**Bobby-Joe** · 08-20-2010, 06:30 PM

Re: FINALLY! 15 homo signs every wife should look for in her "man

Originally posted by Larry Lee View Post

THAT'S RIGHT, ladies, it's all your fault if your husband turns homo.

About time that blame is placed were it belongs Brothers! Who knows how many men have been turned into mincing queers by their she-harpies wives impossible demands for sex with their oozing, bloating bodies? I think female induced homosexuality is a grossly under-reported tragedy in our society today and I am glad to see Christ Wire taking a stand against it.

**Levi Jones** · 08-20-2010, 06:35 PM

Re: FINALLY! 15 homo signs every wife should look for in her "man

Wow, I can't believe how hard of a time Steven is getting from his own readers.

I mean, just look at his zany profile. Antique Soda Bottle Collector! What a cutup. He's a real card that one.

Stephenson Billings is an Investigative Journalist, Motivational Children's Party Entertainer and Antique Soda Bottle Collector all in one special, blessed package!

**Rev. Jim Osborne** · 08-20-2010, 08:31 PM

Re: FINALLY! 15 homo signs every wife should look for in her "man

To be honest, I'm not really to sure if this list is valid or not. In fact, I wonder if it's a very subtle, undermining smear campaign against our own godly Pastor Zeke. See, reading through that list is like reading a biography of Pastor Zeke....and we all know for a fact that the pastor is definitively, absolutely positively not gay.

1) Secretive late night use of cellphones and computers

It's because he has a lot of work to do, plus he has to moderate and run this forum.

2) Looks at other men in a flirtatious way

I wouldn't call it "flirtatious", just very "open" and "affectionate". I can see how this could be misread as being of homosexual intentions.

4) Overly fastidious about his appearance and the home

What's wrong with this? He takes great pride in how he looks and in his domicile. There's nothing wrong with having your own stylist, personal trainer, and interior decorator when you can easily afford them.

5) Gym membership but no interest in sports

Pastor Zeke simply believes that the body is a temple (1 Cor. 6:19) and that he should maintain his wellness. This is why he'll spend hours at the all-male gym here. (The gym is all-male for the simple fact that it is indecent for women to strip down and sweat in front of a bunch of men. All decent True Christian™ men work out at all-male gyms).

6) Clothes that are too tight and too "trendy"

Undoubtedly the man knows how to dress. He is just a young man, hip to the modern age. Nothing gay about that.

7) Strange sexual demands

Well, um, I wouldn't know anything about that. Neither would his fiancee Sister Thumper, because they are a chaste couple and are not given into fornication.

8) More interested in the men than the women in pornographic films

Well no True Christian™ man is turned on by a pornographic film. That is a fact. But sometimes at our G.A.P.E. meetings, Pastor Zeke and a couple other guys seem to take more note of the male actors, but only because men's souls are more valuable then women's souls, and are therefore more in need of Saving®.

9) Travels frequently to big cities or Asia

YES! Everybody knows this about Pastor Zeke. Seems like every other month or so he's on a quick weekend jaunt to do some evangelism and missionary work in sinful dens like Bangkok, Bali, Phuket, Buenos Aires, San Francisco, etc. But, how does that make him gay? It doesn't! It just means he's a committed man to the Lord who has heeded Paul's instructions to go out and spread the Gospel! (2 Tim. 4:2)

10) Too many friendly young male friends

Well, Pastor Zeke does have a ministry aimed at young men age 18-24. But, it's because he can relate to men that age and know how vulnerable they are to being led into sin and away from Jesus.

11) Sassy, sarcastic and ironic around his friends

Most definitely, but it doesn't mean he's gay, he just has a sharp, dry wit to him!

12) Love of pop culture

I don't think he "loves" pop culture at all, since God commands us to hate the world and everything in it (1 John 2:15), but I know he keeps up to date quite heavily on it because he needs to research where the next threat to Christianity is coming from.

13) Extroverted about his bare chest in public

God has blessed Zeke with firm, perfect pects and he is simply praising God by showing the wonderfulness of His creation. Even not in public, but in private. There might be a room full of 3 of us guys and Pastor Zeke will slowly strip off his shirt in front of us because of the hot, oppressing Iowa summers. Nothing wrong with that.

14) Sudden heavy drinking

Now they're describing me! LOL j/k.

I'm not an alcoholic, I'm just a whiskey connoisseur.

**Pastor Ezekiel** · 08-20-2010, 08:34 PM

Re: FINALLY! 15 homo signs every wife should look for in her "man

Thank you Rev. Jim.

**Nobar King** · 08-20-2010, 08:52 PM

Re: FINALLY! 15 homo signs every wife should look for in her "man

Sounds like some kind of party:

Motivational Children's Party Entertainer

Probably another of Obama's Acorn agents.

**Daisy Mae Johnson** · 08-21-2010, 05:13 PM

Re: FINALLY! 15 homo signs every wife should look for in her "man

Haaa haaa! See! Having Nubian houseboys isn't on the list! Take that to all the unsaved trash who say it is gay!

**GOD=life** · 08-21-2010, 05:50 PM

Re: FINALLY! 15 homo signs every wife should look for in her "man

I would like to combine two points: having asian male friends would definitely count as suspicious as well.

**SUV** · 08-21-2010, 06:06 PM

Re: FINALLY! 15 homo signs every wife should look for in her "man

Pastor Kenneth, won't you please come Home from San Francisco?

I am Guilty of sign #16: Wearing pants around the Home like some kind of femiNazi

**Brother Temperance** · 08-21-2010, 06:21 PM

Re: FINALLY! 15 homo signs every wife should look for in her "man

Originally posted by GOD=life View Post

I would like to combine two points: having asian male friends would definitely count as suspicious as well.

I would've thought that having Asian friends would take you out of the "potential queer" category and into the "potential threat to national security" category.

**Nikkiru** · 08-22-2010, 03:40 AM

Re: FINALLY! 15 homo signs every wife should look for in her "man

My guy doesn't really fit any of the items on the list. But he does like show tunes, and he keeps asking me how I think I'd look in short hair and black pantsuits. Lucky for me, he seems to have more of a thing for the younger, thinner Liza Minelli than the way she is today.

Should I be worried?

**Pastor Ezekiel** · 08-22-2010, 04:13 AM

Re: FINALLY! 15 homo signs every wife should look for in her "man

Please make a thread of your own in the "Introductions" section of the forum, so that we can properly greet you. Tell us about yourself, your church, and how you came to find Jesus.

**Mr fool (Quarantined)** · 08-23-2010, 07:18 AM

Re: FINALLY! 15 homo signs every wife should look for in her "man

=Rev. Jim Osborne;584071]To be honest, I'm not really to sure if this list is valid or not. In fact, I wonder if it's a very subtle, undermining smear campaign against our own godly Pastor Zeke. See, reading through that list is like reading a biography of Pastor Zeke....and we all know for a fact that the pastor is definitively, absolutely positively not gay.

pfffffft.

It's because he has a lot of work to do, plus he has to moderate and run this forum.

Right but even your closest friends can lure you to beliving everythin.

I wouldn't call it "flirtatious", just very "open" and "affectionate". I can see how this could be misread as being of homosexual intentions.

Yes and it usually is.

What's wrong with this? He takes great pride in how he looks and in his domicile. There's nothing wrong with having your own stylist, personal trainer, and interior decorator when you can easily afford them.

Having your own stylist? gay. wait...only if the stylist is a man...then it's gay. Man decorators are also gay

Pastor Zeke simply believes that the body is a temple (1 Cor. 6:19) and that he should maintain his wellness. This is why he'll spend hours at the all-male gym here. (The gym is all-male for the simple fact that it is indecent for women to strip down and sweat in front of a bunch of men. All decent True Christian™ men work out at all-male gyms).

All-male gyms? Sounds gay. Why would the girl start stripping just because she is working out?

Undoubtedly the man knows how to dress. He is just a young man, hip to the modern age. Nothing gay about that.

Some clothing can still refer to gay even if it's hip.

Well, um, I wouldn't know anything about that. Neither would his fiancee Sister Thumper, because they are a chaste couple and are not given into fornication.

If the man don't wants to sleep with woman it would be a sign for gayness.

Well no True Christian™ man is turned on by a pornographic film. That is a fact. But sometimes at our G.A.P.E. meetings, Pastor Zeke and a couple other guys seem to take more note of the male actors.

Zeke and a couple? Why are you watching it togheter? Sounds suspicious!

YES! Everybody knows this about Pastor Zeke. Seems like every other month or so he's on a quick weekend jaunt to do some evangelism and missionary work in sinful dens like Bangkok, Bali, Phuket, Buenos Aires, San Francisco, etc. But, how does that make him gay? It doesn't! It just means he's a committed man to the Lord who has heeded Paul's instructions to go out and spread the Gospel! (2 Tim. 4:2)

Asians aren't gay.

Well, Pastor Zeke does have a ministry aimed at young men age 18-24.

O_o yuck!

Most definitely, but it doesn't mean he's gay, he just has a sharp, dry wit to him!

It may not make you gay but you will look like it :/

I don't think he "loves" pop culture at all, since God commands us to hate the world and everything in it (1 John 2:15), but I know he keeps up to date quite heavily on it because he needs to research where the next threat to Christianity is coming from.

Only girly music is gay. So it can be from all kinds of song.

There might be a room full of 3 of us guys and ''Pastor Zeke will slowly strip off his shirt in front of us'' Nothing wrong with that.

How can it not be gay to strip infront of other guys?

Now they're describing me! LOL j/k.

I'm not an alcoholic, I'm just a whiskey connoisseur.

Anyways the only thing that is wrong with this 15 things is heavy drinking. Heavy drinking is absolutely not gay.

----------------------------------------------------------
''God commands us to hate the world and everything in it''
...O_o.....O_ó.....Ò_ó...No!..What the heck?....That can't be right! You think the earth is flat but ut clearly says ''and everything in it'' which means the earth has to be a ball.

Or it just simply means hate everything on it? That wouldn't make sense because then you would have to hate yourself and everybody around you.

**SUV** · 08-23-2010, 04:27 PM

Re: FINALLY! 15 homo signs every wife should look for in her "man

The homer! above protests way too much.

Also, give Snottyduck his gasmask back

**GodIsAlmighty** · 08-24-2010, 05:42 PM

Re: FINALLY! 15 homo signs every wife should look for in her "man

I think you forgot "Eats his vegetables before his meat at dinner". Actually, if he eats vegetables at all, that's a pretty sure sign.

FINALLY! 15 homo signs every wife should look for in her "man"

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