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  • #1

    Our Leader, Pastor Al E. Pistle, in an Historical Re-Association

    This is is based on historical matter of fact, as if
    Our Pastor Pistle lived
    during America's Golden Era

    Al E. drove a runabout.
    He lived on Cherry Liquor Lane.
    When he cranked his auto up
    every red ear bled in pain.

    It wasn't 'cause of noisy tin
    —our hero is a preacher man
    whose voice can perforate an elm.

    During the Great War...

    when gasoline could not be found
    and axle dope : a buck a pound,
    he converted indians to alcohol
    and boiled what was left for grease.

    So what, those pavement stains at Elm?
    We were all amazed and proud!
    Our Pastor solved the fuel shortage
    and dissolved the Nation's engine mess.




    ~
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: Our Leader, Pastor Al E. Pistle, in an Historical Re-Associat

    Pardon the hoarse recitation.

    Had to yell down the Hasidic neighbors; they roped across our driveway!

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Our Leader, Pastor Al E. Pistle, in an Historical Re-Associat

      Originally posted by Poetic Peter View Post
      Pardon the hoarse recitation.

      Had to yell down the Hasidic neighbors; they roped across our driveway!
      What's this? Christ-killing joos in Pastor Al's childhood home?
      Who Will Jesus Damn?

      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Our Leader, Pastor Al E. Pistle, in an Historical Re-Associat

        Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
        What's this? Christ-killing joos in Pastor Al's childhood home?
        I was a bit shocked by that. Maybe he should invest in one of these, they're pretty good for getting rid of yids:
        O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



        God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Our Leader, Pastor Al E. Pistle, in an Historical Re-Associat

          Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
          What's this? Christ-killing joos in Pastor Al's childhood home?
          I don't know that Al grew up in our driveway on Alton Road, Miami Beach.
          But I do know that these nutcases are stringing fish line (see this in Jewhattan),
          and here, they favor yellow braided nylon line, run around our neighborhood at about car-hood level.

          I cut the twine. The fetlocked shylocks replaced the twine. I cut the twine again.
          They parleyed, returned, then we had a shouting match.
          They tried to replace the twine across our driveway entry with quarter inch braided steel.

          I put a stop to that with bolt cutters.

          So now they have yellow twine (again), only elevated over our driveway by one pair of tent poles,
          so at least the Mrs. and I can get our Escalade out.

          Don't get me started on them. I wish I could convert the Lot of them into....

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Our Leader, Pastor Al E. Pistle, in an Historical Re-Associat

            Originally posted by Poetic Peter View Post
            I don't know that Al grew up in our driveway on Alton Road, Miami Beach.
            But I do know that these nutcases are stringing fish line (see this in Jewhattan),
            and here, they favor yellow braided nylon line, run around our neighborhood at about car-hood level.

            I cut the twine. The fetlocked shylocks replaced the twine. I cut the twine again.
            They parleyed, returned, then we had a shouting match.
            They tried to replace the twine across our driveway entry with quarter inch braided steel.

            I put a stop to that with bolt cutters.

            So now they have yellow twine (again), only elevated over our driveway by one pair of tent poles,
            so at least the Mrs. and I can get our Escalade out.
            I'd advise you not to compromise an inch on this issue. Some towelheads who were squatting on our oil and Jesus' birthplace let the Joos put up one of those eruv things, and look what they ended up with:
            O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



            God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Our Leader, Pastor Al E. Pistle, in an Historical Re-Associat

              I say give the yids a taste of their own "medicine": Chicken soup!

              Glory! Let's fling chicken soup at them!

              I have-a extra Pot in case anyone's interested

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Our Leader, Pastor Al E. Pistle, in an Historical Re-Associat

                Originally posted by Brother Temperance View Post
                I was a bit shocked by that. Maybe he should invest in one of these, they're pretty good for getting rid of yids:
                "launches up to.."


                Needs to be miles, not feet.


                ----

                addendum: I see that you rethought your scaling as I posted my reply.
                I like the wall. Am thinking along the lines of bricks and a mortar.

                Comment

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