How to Cook Wiccans -- Post Recipes Here

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Ezekiel 24:10-12
10 Heap on wood, kindle the fire, consume the flesh, and spice it well, and let the bones be burned.
11 Then set it empty upon the coals thereof, that the brass of it may be hot, and may burn, and that the filthiness of it may be molten in it, that the scum of it may be consumed.
12 She hath wearied herself with lies, and her great scum went not forth out of her: her scum shall be in the fire.

I love hunting, but I've always believed in eating what you kill. The typical Wiccan is usually very tender, thanks to the vegan diet and lack of exercise. However, they can be extremely gamey if you don't prepare the meat properly.

Smoked Wiccan

1. Take one wiccan (dead).
   • A. Cut into large thin pieces.
   • B. Soak in heavy salt brine for 20 minutes.
2. While meat is soaking
   • A. Dig pit 3' x 6' 2 feet deep.
   • B. Build rack 3 feet above ground with double chicken wire and cover. 3' x 6' pit.
   • C. Cover sides of pit with 3' x 8' metal roofing.
3. Take meat out of salt brine and let set while you do item 4.
4. Put rocks in bottom of pit, and fill entire pit with hickory cut up in small pieces and start fire.
5. Put wiccan meat on chicken wire, largest pieces towards middle.
6. Dry meat to your liking.

Pastor Billy-Reuben

[BibleThumpinBlonde]

Mmmmmm! That sounds DELISH Pastor!

I think this year I want to have a little fun with our kills. I'm going to give it a Hawaiian them and have Wiccan Luau.


LUAU WICCAN ROAST
1 (3-5 lb.) Wiccan center loin roast
4-5 cloves garlic, halved
1/2 c. dry white wine
1/2 c. soy sauce
1/2 c. finely chopped onion
1/4 c. vinegar or lemon juice
2 tbsp. brown sugar
1 tbsp. dry mustard
1 tbsp. grated ginger root or 1 tsp. ground ginger
Luau sweet potatoes
Hot cooked rice


Have butcher loosen back bone of meat. Insert tip of knife into meat at even intervals and push garlic halves into meat as you remove knife. For marinade combine wine, soy sauce, onion, vinegar, brown sugar, dry mustard, and ginger root. Place wiccan meat in a plastic bag; set in a baking dish. Pour marinade over meat; close bag. Marinate in refrigerator 10 hours or overnight, turning often.
Remove Wiccan roast, reserving marinade. Pat dry with paper towels. Place rib side down in shallow roaster; insert meat thermometer. Roast uncovered at 325 degrees for 2 1/2 to 3 hours, until thermometer registers 170 degrees. Brush frequently with marinade during the last 30 minutes. Combine 1/2 cup marinade with 1/4 cup water. Bring to boiling, reduce heat and keep warm. Arrange Wiccan roast and luau sweet potatoes on platter. Serve with rice and heated marinade. Makes 6-8 servings.



I've tried this before and it seems like the younger Wiccans are a little more tender and flavorful.

You are all invited when I make it. Be sure and wear your grass skirts.

I will also be serving Mia Tia's and and assortment of PuPu Platters.

[lord warrior]

Are you all sick. Your talking about eating a human, or as close as a wiccan can come. Thats canibalism,YUK.

We always just roast them and feed them to the dogs. That way they can catch them better on our fall witch hunts. That old bluetick of mine just loves the little one's.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

I almost banned this entire thread! I thought you meant "Wiccan recipes"....like how to cook Christian children in a cauldron and so forth.

You people better use adverbs more properly than you has previous.

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

I fixed it. I hope the new thread title clears up any confusion.

Pastor Billy-Reuben

[Andrew Barrick]

I never thought of cooking a Wiccan, but now that you mention it, it does sound like a good idea. Must be an aquired taste.

[Father Thomas Martin]

This should be evidence enough of a conspiracy to genocide charge...

You better thank God that Iowa doesn't have the death penalty...

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Father Thomas Martin

This should be evidence enough of a conspiracy to genocide charge...

You better thank God that Iowa doesn't have the death penalty...

The term "genocide" refers to the mass killings of human beings.

This thread refers to wiccians.

Capeesch?

[Brother Guy Bayard]

Originally Posted by Father Thomas Martin

This should be evidence enough of a conspiracy to genocide charge...

You better thank God that Iowa doesn't have the death penalty...

Look who's talking. I don't see you fretting about the millions of seamen the catholic church digests as a whole every day

[Brother Guy Bayard]

• Take one (1) living Wiccan. .
• Strap beneath special table with hole in center. The wiccan must be strapped beneath a table with its head poking up through a hole.
• Bop wiccan on the head, scoop and serve. The diners usually deliver the fatal blow themselves with hammers, the skull is sawed off and the brains are scooped out with spoons.

This dish is most suitable for aperitifs starters or entrees.