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  • Purity
    Struggling Homemaker
    Under Investigation
    • Sep 2006
    • 9
    #1

    Why are so many Christians so fat?

    That question has really bothered me. It seems that many preachers are especially fat. Are fat people better Christians? Should I try to gain weight?
    Tags: fat, obesity, questions, requirements
    • Dan U. Holier
      True Christian™
      True Christian™
      • Jul 2011
      • 1180
      #2
      Re: Why are so many Christians so fat?

      The (c)holisterol is a clear sign of holiness, no matter what the liebrul scientists say!

      Here’s another proof that the US of A is indeed the God’s chosen land: Obesity per Country Comparison
      Ask not what your Lord can do for you. Ask what you can do for your Lord.


      ... your choice entirely (Matthew 12:30)

        Comment

        • Talitha
          Deaconess
          Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
          True Christian™
          • Oct 2025
          • 15118
          #3
          Re: Why are so many Christians so fat?

          Originally posted by Purity View Post
          That question has really bothered me. It seems that many preachers are especially fat. Are fat people better Christians? Should I try to gain weight?
          I think just saying "fat" would be the wrong word to use, Purity.
          Being contented and happy under that warm blanket of Jesus' love means that the metabolism slows right down. This in turn means that any True Christian™ will naturally gain weight.
          I think if we are to call it fat, we should call it "Happy Clappy fat"

          We all know that only Communists and hippies don't eat the meat and other good, tasty stuff that The Lord provides for us. They don't have Jesus in their hearts which means they end up being unhappy skinnies.

          In answer to your question about gaining weight, just bathe in the warm blood of Jesus and pray. The weight will follow

          Sister Talitha

          Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


          HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
          being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41


            Comment

            • Jerry Falwell
              Dead, bloated false Christian currently being tormented by Satan.
              • Aug 2011
              • 1
              #4
              Re: Why are so many Christians so fat?

              Our fatness is a sign of abundance and fatness is a sure sign of righteousness. Have you ever seen a fat AIDS patient?

              AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals”

              If you put your trust in God, he will make you fat. He that putteth his trust in the LORD shall be made fat. -- Proverbs 28:25

                Comment

                • Brother Enoch
                  The Godliest Man in Godless Canuckistan
                  True Christian™
                  • Jun 2008
                  • 4392
                  #5
                  Re: Why are so many Christians so fat?

                  Originally posted by Jerry Falwell View Post
                  Our fatness is a sign of abundance and fatness is a sure sign of righteousness. Have you ever seen a fat AIDS patient?

                  AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals”

                  If you put your trust in God, he will make you fat. He that putteth his trust in the LORD shall be made fat. -- Proverbs 28:25
                  What he said.

                  (Though the verse is actually:

                  He that is of a proud heart stirreth up strife: But he that putteth his trust in the Lord shall be made fat. )

                  Remember, friend, KJV only and no paraphrasing.

                    Comment

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