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Old 01-29-2014, 09:47 PM
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Default URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry!

James Hutchins didn't want me to do this, because he is a proud man, but your help is needed. You may not be aware that he supports his wonderful truck stop ministry completely out of his own pocket, and has never accepted donations to keep it going.

Well, a confluence of unfortunate events has conspired to create an emergency situation:

Firstly, after an IRS investigation, the ministry was wrongly deprived of its 501©3 tax exempt status, meaning Mr. Hutchins can no longer deduct monies spent on the ministry from his taxes. Worse yet, the ministry itself now owes several years worth of back taxes on the money it collected from Mr. Hutchins!

Secondly, Mr. Hutchins' big rig was repossessed last night, leaving Mr. Hutchins and his mobile chapel trailer stranded at Love's Travel Stop in Loxley, Alabama.



Mr. Hutchins has vowed to stay there and keep ministering to the needs of truckers until the Lord provides a way for him to get home. Please dig deep and donate whatever you can, as his food and living expenses are bound to be quite high.

I've promised the Lord that we are going to work together to get James' truck back from the bank, but I understand it's real cold in Alabama right now, and I hate to think of poor Mr. Hutchins shivering in the night all by himself. Wouldn't you like to show the Lord that we are working together? Wouldn't you like to lie down with Mr. Hutchins and keep him warm at night (metaphorically speaking, of course), as prescribed by Ecclesiastes 4:9-12?

Quote:
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

9 Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.

10 For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.

11 Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone?

12 And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
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Last edited by John Creeser; 01-29-2014 at 11:24 PM.
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  #2  
Old 01-29-2014, 10:12 PM
see_the_light see_the_light is offline
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Default Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Minnistry!

A trailer chapel is the closest I can imagine to a missionary effort amongst the heathens.

What kind of savages did he have to face in all those parks.

I was told that there are only two types in those whereabouts, negros and albino negros.

What courage, what submission to GOD's will to venture forth between lubricious underage harlots and complete drunkards.

Let us all pray that JESUS sends him the money he needs to recover his mobile house of GOD.



PRAISE THE LORD!

p.s. on a different note I suppose that we could just tithe a little harder and let the good Pastors allocate the amounts according to what baby JESUS instructs as the more pressing needs.
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Old 01-29-2014, 10:54 PM
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Default Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Minnistry!

I urge everyone to help Brother James in this time of need. A friend of mine is bring by some fuel oil to keep the Chapel warm.

I know many people hesitate to give knowing the money will go for taxes. I'm going to call some people in government and see if he can negotiate a reduction.
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Old 01-30-2014, 01:32 AM
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Default Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Minnistry!

I am sure this all has to do with the war on Christians and other conservatives, on behalf of the godless Democrats, that the God hating IRS has already been caught red handed at.

They will suffer eternity in perdition for their awful sins.
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Old 01-30-2014, 02:18 AM
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Default Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Minnistry!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alvin Moss View Post
I am sure this all has to do with the war on Christians and other conservatives, on behalf of the godless Democrats, that the God hating IRS has already been caught red handed at.

They will suffer eternity in perdition for their awful sins.
It is an open secret by now...

http://www.newsmax.com/NewsmaxTv/oba...1/22/id/538199

Ex-Secret Service Agent: Obama Uses Govt as 'Personal Weapon'



President Barack Obama's religion is the government, and he uses it as a "personal weapon," says former Secret Service agent Dan Bongino.

"He uses government not as a political weapon, he uses it as a personal weapon against his enemies . . . Punish those who don't support us," Bongino told "The Steve Malzberg Show on Newsmax TV.

"[Obama] does what's best for his ideology . . . His religion is government. And when your religion is government, you do anything to further that because it really relies on faith. It doesn't rely on evidence."


His religion is satanic government, no place for GOD, no mercy for the GOD fearing.

PRAY TO JESUS!
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Old 01-30-2014, 03:13 AM
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Default Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry!

I'm always a little short of money at the end of a month but I offered an extra prayer for Mr. Hutchins and his truck stop ministry tonight. May be with him!

Quote:
Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom. - Luke 12:32
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Old 01-30-2014, 05:10 PM
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Default Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry!

I've just been on the phone with Mrs. Hutchins, and she was in tears because all this financial chaos has resulted in her having to dip into her piggy bank to pay the pool man and tell the gardeners not to work this week.

I hope those donations will keep rolling in, because, obviously, there's a trickle down effect when the IRS and the bank attack a good man like Mr. Hutchins. Everybody suffers.

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Old 01-31-2014, 04:58 AM
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Default Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry!

Thanks, Obama.
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Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Old 02-01-2014, 12:19 PM
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Default Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry!

Um, I hate to bring it up, but we haven't received any new donations in over 12 hours. I really hope people have just been busy or something.
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Old 02-01-2014, 06:42 PM
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Default Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry!

It was my understanding that donations were to be given in addition to the regular tithing. As a local job creator I just couldn't spare an extra dime, especially after paying the extra four percent required to fund the repairs on the pastors' swimming pool (how did three tons of candied yams get into the pool in the first place?)

But Brother Hutchins need not fear, I will devote three extra hours of prayer to help him and his ministry this week, and he can take that to the bank! Well, not a regular bank but you know what I mean.
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Old 02-01-2014, 09:23 PM
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Default Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry!

Actually, the fastest way of getting the money to Brother Hutchins is to send it directly to my PayPal account.

I'm not saying there's a problem with any of the girls who take care of LBC's bookkeeping, but let's just say somebody can sometimes be a little bit forgetful about which monies are hers and which are God's.
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Old 02-01-2014, 10:36 PM
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Default Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine View Post
Um, I hate to bring it up, but we haven't received any new donations in over 12 hours. I really hope people have just been busy or something.
Didn't you get the $1000 I sent?
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Old 02-01-2014, 10:47 PM
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Default Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine View Post
I'm not saying there's a problem with any of the girls who take care of LBC's bookkeeping, but let's just say somebody can sometimes be a little bit forgetful about which monies are hers and which are God's.
My friend,

I have made a 7:45 a.m. appointment for you at the church offices to review your tithing records and formulate a future plan, so you may remain in Good Standing.

I personally do not come into the accounting vaults until noon, but this will give you some much needed time to consider where you currently find yourself.

A car will collect you at 7:30. I suggest you pack a bag.

Thank you for your cooperation in this difficult and heretofore unforeseen matter. All personal, business, and family financial records from 1979 to the present day will be required.
.
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  #14  
Old 02-02-2014, 02:41 AM
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Faith_Machine Faith_Machine is offline
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Default Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry!

Oh my goodness, it appears my account got hacked and somebody has been posting all kinds of crazy things under my username!

I certainly hope the security team will look into this!
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  #15  
Old 02-02-2014, 05:11 PM
see_the_light see_the_light is offline
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Default Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine View Post
Oh my goodness, it appears my account got hacked and somebody has been posting all kinds of crazy things under my username!

I certainly hope the security team will look into this!
Just add your PC to the elements already requested.

That will allow a much faster disclosure of any wrongdoing and the punishment of the culprit.

PRAISE THE LORD!
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  #16  
Old 02-03-2014, 01:39 AM
Mother Of Seven Mother Of Seven is offline
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Default Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry!

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Didn't you get the $1000 I sent?
^^ This.
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  #17  
Old 02-03-2014, 06:20 AM
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Mistress Cookie Mistress Cookie is offline
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Default Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mother Of Seven View Post
^^ This.
Yes yes, Mother...although we at the Church Offices first thought it was a joke, we received your very thoughtful little $1,000 check, marked "Please do not cash until the 15th of the month." I set it aside with the rest of the junk mail the Pastors get, but will look for it later.

As to Brother Faith Machine's computer he said had been "hacked," we have confiscated it in preparation for tomorrow's meeting. If anyone sees him posting here, please alert a Pastor or Male Elder, as he is probably doing it from his cell phone, and we are needing that, too, for his audit.

Thank you all for your cooperation in this serious matter.
.
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  #18  
Old 02-03-2014, 06:38 AM
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Faith_Machine Faith_Machine is offline
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Default Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry!

I demand that you return my computer IMMEDIATELY! All contents of my hard drive are protected by the 4th Amendment of the United States Constitution!

Furthermore, your confiscation of my hardware is based on a false premise. I never claimed that my computer had been hacked! Clearly, hackers on the Internet gained access to my account using a password-guessing script, so there is absolutely no reason whatsoever for you to boot up my computer and go poking around in its files, and certainly no conceivable justification for viewing any photos or videos which may or may not be on my hard drive and which I may or may not have collected in order to carefully document the scourge of indecency which plagues the World Wide Web!


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  #19  
Old 02-03-2014, 06:49 AM
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Mistress Cookie Mistress Cookie is offline
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Default Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine View Post
I demand that you return my computer IMMEDIATELY! All contents of my hard drive...etc. etc.
A Friend of the Church™ has alerted us you are posting on your phone from Hasting's 24 Hour Coffee Shop on Reservation Road. Please remain there. A car is being sent for you at this moment so you will be on time for your morning appointment at the Church offices.

I have arranged a pass for you to sleep in the infirmary. You will be given the discount rate.
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  #20  
Old 02-03-2014, 06:57 AM
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Faith_Machine Faith_Machine is offline
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Default Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry!

Given that said coffee shop is empty, and given that I've seen nobody around here in over an hour, I can only conclude that you are using a back door into my wireless provider's system to ascertain which cell phone tower I am connected to.

You listen here, Miss Back Door Lady, I do NOT appreciate having my privacy violated in this fashion! If you wanted to know my whereabouts, all you had to do was politely ask!

You will cease and desist all spying efforts forthwith! I am contacting Mayor Johnny Joe Hold, and you'd better believe he's not going to allow this reckless disregard for our Constitution to stand!

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