favorite quote

[holypaladin]

My favorite is Matthew 5: 17-19, where it tells me to still uphold the old testament laws, such as not eating shellfish, or wearing clothes made of more than one cloth (e.g. linen and cotton). Leviticus has given our family a good set of rules (more like laws) to follow. death to the infidels

[Levi Jones]

Re: favorite quote

That's much better. That wasn't so hard was it?

Another soul for Jesus!

[holypaladin]

Re: favorite quote

That's much better. That wasn't so hard was it?

Another soul for Jesus!

Not really. But now I need to keep records of my daughters' virginal blood. BRB

[Lisa H]

Re: favorite quote

... death to the infidels

Are you a Muslim

[holypaladin]

Re: favorite quote

Are you a Muslim

No, but I sort of wish I was, it's such a peaceful religion. That line you quoted was just for true religion.

[Levi Jones]

Re: favorite quote

Not really. But now I need to keep records of my daughters' virginal blood. BRB

What a shame. You were doing so well for a second.

I have no idea what you are talking about as far as blood and records go, but I'm sure I'm extremely offended.

[holypaladin]

Re: favorite quote

What a shame. You were doing so well for a second.

I have no idea what you are talking about as far as blood and records go, but I'm sure I'm extremely offended.

Deuteronomy 22:15

Then shall the father of the damsel, and her mother, take and bring forth the tokens of the damsel's virginity unto the elders of the city in the gate

[Levi Jones]

Re: favorite quote

Deuteronomy 22:15

Then shall the father of the damsel, and her mother, take and bring forth the tokens of the damsel's virginity unto the elders of the city in the gate

Well now, why didn't you say so? I thought that was rather vague and I'm usually good on the scriptural uptake.

Keep posting, friend. The punishments are the best part! You can't deny the immortal wisdom of our LORD. Hallelujah!

16And the damsel's father shall say unto the elders, I gave my daughter unto this man to wife, and he hateth her;
17And, lo, he hath given occasions of speech against her, saying, I found not thy daughter a maid; and yet these are the tokens of my daughter's virginity. And they shall spread the cloth before the elders of the city.
18And the elders of that city shall take that man and chastise him;
19And they shall amerce him in an hundred shekels of silver, and give them unto the father of the damsel, because he hath brought up an evil name upon a virgin of Israel: and she shall be his wife; he may not put her away all his days.
20But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel:
21Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you.

[Lisa H]

Re: favorite quote

No, but I sort of wish I was, it's such a peaceful religion. That line you quoted was just for true religion.

So you wish to join a cult to go on a jihad to blow yourself up to receive virgins.

[Brother V]

Re: favorite quote

Not really. But now I need to keep records of my daughters' virginal blood. BRB

The verse doesn't refer to a used tampon. It deals with the bedsheets that are used the first time a woman has sex. How her busted hymen bleeds and makes a mess on the sheets.

Those are the tokens of virginity.

YIC
V

[Pastor Rune Enoe]

Re: favorite quote

The verse doesn't refer to a used tampon. It deals with the bedsheets that are used the first time a woman has sex. How her busted hymen bleeds and makes a mess on the sheets.

Those are the tokens of virginity.

YIC
V

Thanks for clarifying, Brother V.

Honestly, I can't see why anybody would think the Bible orders us to save a bed sheet with menstrual blood clots in it.

[BelieverInGod]

Re: favorite quote

The verse doesn't refer to a used tampon. It deals with the bedsheets that are used the first time a woman has sex. How her busted hymen bleeds and makes a mess on the sheets.

Those are the tokens of virginity.

YIC
V

Thank you brother,

Anyway if a girl used a tampon doesn't that mean she's no longer a virgin?

And yes I have my bridal sheets tucked away in a sealed package. I doubt I need them anymore, but you never know. After all, whose going to believe I was a 35-year-old virgin in this day-and-age.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: favorite quote

The verse doesn't refer to a used tampon. It deals with the bedsheets that are used the first time a woman has sex. How her busted hymen bleeds and makes a mess on the sheets.

Those are the tokens of virginity.

YIC
V

Thank you for clearing that up. He was probably thinking something more like this:



"How many tokens for your daughter's virginity, dood?"

[Las Vegas Larry]

Re: favorite quote

Thank you brother,

Anyway if a girl used a tampon doesn't that mean she's no longer a virgin?

And yes I have my bridal sheets tucked away in a sealed package. I doubt I need them anymore, but you never know. After all, whose going to believe I was a 35-year-old virgin in this day-and-age.

Why are you nuts so obsessed with the birth canal???? It's not a "one way street" after all. If "God" designed the male and female, why the disgust with what is surely a natural function to reproduce???

Who cares if a woman uses a tampon to soak it up??? Isn't that better than her "contaminating" everything else? Toss it in the toilet and be done with it.

I guess a man that uses a suppository prescribed by his doctor is gay?

[Lisa H]

Re: favorite quote

Why are you nuts so obsessed with the birth canal???? It's not a "one way street" after all. If "God" designed the male and female, why the disgust with what is surely a natural function to reproduce???

Who cares if a woman uses a tampon to soak it up??? Isn't that better than her "contaminating" everything else? Toss it in the toilet and be done with it.

I guess a man that uses a suppository prescribed by his doctor is gay?

Just because you live with whores and harlots does not mean all women are like that

Ezekiel 23:18 So she discovered her whoredoms, and discovered her nakedness: then my mind was alienated from her, like as my mind was alienated from her sister