[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Why did Jesus spit?

I stand by my original sentiment of hey, at least I wouldn't have to sing.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

I don't pity her for one moment. I take great joy in celebrating the carrying out of God's will. PRAISE Him! When VanHellinahandbasket finds herself chin deep in scalding demonspunk, she'll know how wrong she was. GLORY!!

[Rachael Van Helsing]

That sentiment is returned right back to you, Bro Mike.

[Brother_Mike]

Like I said, I've read the bible, and the only reason why I can think of that anyone would follow it is because they are afraid of being smoten to 'hell' if they don't.

I pitty you.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Like I said, I've read the bible, and the only reason why I can think of that anyone would follow it is because they are afraid of being smoten to 'hell' if they don't.

[Brother Temperance]

And as to my 'airheaded questions', what better way to learn why anyone would ever want to follow such a religion than by asking them?

There is a much better way: by reading the Bible. It will tell you everything you need to know. Although you are a worthless tool of Satan that will probably end up as part of Hezbollah's "joy division", so you might be better off with the Qu'ran instead.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Typical of the foul-mouthed harlot you are, no doubt your answer was something inapproriately hellbound and sexual.
Instead of making half an effort at wisecracks, why not pick up the bible for yourself and see all the teachings of Jesus firsthand!

I've seen it. Hence my point about certain messages it seems to give out.

For the KJV1611 is the pure, unaltered word of GOD!
So quit fantasising about the demons you fornicate with, pick up a bible, and then maybe you wouldn't need to irritate the good Pastors with your airheaded questions!

Bah. I'll fantasize about whatever I please.
And as to my 'airheaded questions', what better way to learn why anyone would ever want to follow such a religion than by asking them?

[Lady Sorrow]

Always glad to do God's work when I can, Pastor E!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Typical of the foul-mouthed harlot you are, no doubt your answer was something inapproriately hellbound and sexual.
Instead of making half an effort at wisecracks, why not pick up the bible for yourself and see all the teachings of Jesus firsthand!

For the KJV1611 is the pure, unaltered word of GOD!
So quit fantasising about the demons you fornicate with, pick up a bible, and then maybe you wouldn't need to irritate the good Pastors with your airheaded questions!

PRAISE JESUS! It always gladdens my heart when another Christian bitchslaps a demon. GLORY!! Carry on, Sister Sorrow!

[Lady Sorrow]

Typical of the foul-mouthed harlot you are, no doubt your answer was something inapproriately hellbound and sexual.
Instead of making half an effort at wisecracks, why not pick up the bible for yourself and see all the teachings of Jesus firsthand!

For the KJV1611 is the pure, unaltered word of GOD!
So quit fantasising about the demons you fornicate with, pick up a bible, and then maybe you wouldn't need to irritate the good Pastors with your airheaded questions!

[Rachael Van Helsing]

I never thought of this before, but, if Jesus spues out Episcopalians, Lutherans and the like, does that mean that, for the True Christian™ elect, he swallows?

I can't think of any answer that won't earn a warning point.

[Brother Temperance]

Don't you all look at the bible literally? Looked at literally, the above quote implies that Jesus enjoyed the odd spoon of disciple soup here or there.
It seemed Jesus really had a cannibal fetish going there

I never thought of this before, but, if Jesus spues out Episcopalians, Lutherans and the like, does that mean that, for the True Christian™ elect, he swallows?

[SUV]

HE can spit on me any old day!

But OH LORD, I am so not worthy!

SUV

[Rachael Van Helsing]

If you wanted to drink blood and eat real people, these verses might lead you to believe that it's ok... but it's not.

My point exactly
What's to stop cannibals from saying 'your honor, it's ok, I only did it because I read it in the bible!'

Thankfully, though, I doubt that'd hold up in court.

[Brother V]

So then did he just want them to remember him whilst eating or did he want them to be imagining they were eating a chunk of bicep and a drink of arterial blood.....?

When eating the bread, Jesus wants you to think of his body, that is broken for you. You are correct, he doesn't want you to imagine you are eating a chunk of his bicep.

When drinking the wine, Jesus wants you to think of his blood, which was spilled for you. He doesn't want you to think you are taking a swig of arterial blood.

Although the cathylicks have perverted this, through interpretation of the recount of the last supper in John.

John 6:53 Then Jesus said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except ye eat the flesh of the Son of man, and drink his blood, ye have no life in you.

54 Whoso eateth my flesh, and drinketh my blood, hath eternal life; and I will raise him up at the last day.

55 For my flesh is meat indeed, and my blood is drink indeed.

56 He that eateth my flesh, and drinketh my blood, dwelleth in me, and I in him.

If you wanted to drink blood and eat real people, these verses might lead you to believe that it's ok... but it's not.

YIC
V