A trick for converting secular-raised children

[Didymus Much]

Re: A trick for converting secular-raised children

...Until then let them be.

Not in the Bible. As a matter of fact, the exact opposite is:

2 Timothy 4:2 "Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine."

Why do you want these people to go to Hell for disobeying God's clear command?

[scarecrowman175]

Re: A trick for converting secular-raised children

Yeah, let's trick kids into believing in a religion we know we wouldn't believe in if our parents wouldn't have tricked us.

Keep the blessing going brother!

PS. If you got anymore of the atheist kids left could i get them?

This. If someone wants to be WILLINGLY converted to a belief then they will come to you. Until then let them be.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: A trick for converting secular-raised children

Yeah, let's trick kids into believing in a religion we know we wouldn't believe in if our parents wouldn't have tricked us.

Keep the blessing going brother!

Do you want them to go to Hell? Why do you hate atheist kids?

PS. If you got anymore of the atheist kids left could i get them?

No. If your freezer is empty, go to the grocery store. This isn't a food pantry.

[PrincessLeviathan]

Re: A trick for converting secular-raised children

Yeah, let's trick kids into believing in a religion we know we wouldn't believe in if our parents wouldn't have tricked us.

Keep the blessing going brother!

PS. If you got anymore of the atheist kids left could i get them?

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: A trick for converting secular-raised children

When I used to work in CAHMS I used to counsel children with behavioural problems. As you could expect they were all from atheists liberal parents who lacking the moral certitude of the Bible (KJV1611) could not provide and good role model so the kids were running riot.

I used Jesus to help these young tearaways become good God fearing kids:

The trick is to fill the void leff by their parents not telling them about Hell. Now, by the age they came to my they would be about 10 and did not have any real fear of Hell (I know, stay with me) so I needed a place holder.

I came up with The Lad of Skins.

He is an old bearded man nearly 8 feet tall who carries a sack around on his back. When he finds children he puts them in his sack and they are never seen again because they and cursed and evil to the soul.

He only comes at night when a child is alone and only on windy days. I tell the child that adults know the Lad of Skins is real and when they were kids they had made a bargin with the Lad of Skins to leave them alone if only they would take their twin.

Unfortunately they child has no twin so enventually the Lad will come to get them. They can't talk to their parents because of the deal their parents made to stay alive.

Then I tell the child that next time they hear a wistling in the wind it is the Lad of Skins calling their parents to open the back door and any noises (settling floor boards, cooling radiators) the child hears is the Lad tiptoeing around, but because he is so big he has to move very slowly and can take all night to work his way up the stairs to get them.

I tell the child the reason I know about this is because I made a different deal to save my self from the Lad of Skins: rather than sacrifice a twin (which I could not do) I prayed to Jesus and read the Bible (KJV1611) and learnt that if I accepted Jesus into my life His sacrifice would be enough for the Lad of Skins to leave me alone.

I said that their parents were in on the whole thing and they would not stop the Lad from taking them and putting them in his sack because they did not really love them and that the only person they could trust was me and Jesus. It is then the work of a few more sessions to reveal that the Lad of Skins is Satan

It really works. The kids shape up in a matter of weeks and start reading the Bible (KJV1611) like you would not beleive. The parents are happy, the kids are on their way to being good Christians.

The only side effect is a fair percentage of the children develops and intractable fear if twins.

But we can have everything, I guess.

YIC

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: A trick for converting secular-raised children

Usually within a month, the child has convinced her parents to bring her to church and stay through the services, because the child is terrified Mommy and Daddy will go to Hell.

Ah... fear of the Lord...

Luke 12:5 But I will forewarn you whom ye shall fear: Fear him, which after he hath killed hath power to cast into hell; yea, I say unto you, Fear him.

Great times.

This makes a great piece of first scripture to hang over their beds or if the parent is resistant you could print it on stickers for them to put inside their secular reading books. Kids love to have a secret.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: A trick for converting secular-raised children

Surely even secular children have heard of Santa Claus.

I tell them that Jesus is just like Santa Claus, in that He sees you when you're sleeping and He knows when you're awake, and always watching everything you do. But He is better than Santa, because if you're "good" and obey all His commands, instead of presents you get to spend all of eternity praising Him for being perfect! And if you don't, then instead of coal in your stocking, you get to be burned alive for all time in His Lake of Fire!

This discussion is usually followed up about a week later when the parent brings the child to me and tells me that she's having nightmares about being on fire every night and begs me to fix the problem. (Or, more often from atheists, threatens me if I don't.) I take the child aside and help her become a True Christian(tm). No more nightmares about Hell!

Usually within a month, the child has convinced her parents to bring her to church and stay through the services, because the child is terrified Mommy and Daddy will go to Hell.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

You know how the catholics converted the pagans by borrowing pagan concepts and gradually subverting them? Like how they took pagan gods and replaced them with nearly indentical "saints"? We could use this tactic on people who have been raised by secular parents.

You see, converting someone from another religion isn't so hard. Replace submission to "allah" with submission to God. Replace Sharia law with Biblical law (other than being allowed to eat pork I can't think of any changes there). But secular-raised children have no conceptual foundation upon which to build, right?

Wrong! You see, even the most militant atheist still lets their kid read "fairy tales".

We can explain how the invisible spiritual armor of Christ stops invisible demons just like bedding keep the closet-monsters at bay. The only difference is that you can't suffocate when you're being smothered by Jesus.

And what kids hasn't had an invisible friend? An invisible friend who agrees on everything and loves you no matter what - that's what Jesus is for us!

I'm sure we can come up with more.

On a sort-of-related note, the game "Simon says" is a good illustration of how false religions work. Replace "simon" with "Jesus". Mormon:"Jesus says this! Jesus says that! Give me your wife!" Sane person: "Hey, Jesus didn't say!"