Jesuits Regret Slave Master Past- Vow to Pay Up

[I Man Rastafari]

I have explained to my Baptist friends that once Hillary Clinton becomes President Babylon will be transformed to a progressive modern nation and that reparations to Black people for generations of abusive slavery will commence. I have suspended my own education at the University of Wisconsin to support Hillary in this historic effort.


Just yesterday we received the news that Georgetown University will educate the descendants of it's own slaves at no charge. There are no adequate records for them to refer to but I am certain that I am one of those descendants and I will be eligible for such an education. After the election I will be moving to Washington DC to become an important dignitary and a well respected figure in the new administration. The proximity of Georgetown University to my new office cannot be ignored. Therefore I will this morning submit my application for admission along with a notarized statement with an official stamp that I am the descendant of one of their slaves.


The only issue left to be decided will be the amount of my stipend. The University of Wisconsin at Madison Wisconsin paid a paltry 400USD per week which barely covered the cost of ganja. The progressive leadership at Georgetown University will no doubt be more reasonable but I am not certain of the extent of their willingness to make proper amends. It is my hope that other white institutions in this country will follow the lead of Georgetown University before the new administration imposes sanctions on those who do not. If my friends at the Landover Baptist Church wish to ease their own feelings of white guilt I would be happy to help administer a program to dispense just payments to Black people in this country.

[Roland]

Re: Jesuits Regret Slave Master Past- Vow to Pay Up

[...]

The only issue left to be decided will be the amount of my stipend. The University of Wisconsin at Madison Wisconsin paid a paltry 400USD per week which barely covered the cost of ganja. [...]

Hello Rastafari,

Perhaps I know how to solve your financial problems: Just grow your own ganja! If you plant enough, perhaps you can even sell the excess ganja.

Kind regards,

Roland

[I Man Rastafari]

Re: Jesuits Regret Slave Master Past- Vow to Pay Up

Perhaps I know how to solve your financial problems: Just grow your own ganja! If you plant enough, perhaps you can even sell the excess ganja.

Greetings Roland!

That is a very fine idea but I have to tell you that it is very dangerous to grow the herb in Babylon. In my home country which is Jamaica if the constabulary finds the ganja they will be most satisfied to forgo the arrest and share in the harvest. I have found that here in Babylon they like to arrest you and put you in their dungeon especially if you are a Black man like me. If the American states of Colorado Oregon and Washington were to accept their responsibility for slavery in the way the eastern states have and agree to assist the Black man I might move to one of them and do just what you suggest. But so far they want money to go to their universities even if the prospective student is Black. That is because they are racist.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Jesuits Regret Slave Master Past- Vow to Pay Up

Let me assure you Rastafari that if you were to abstain from the ganja for an adequate period of time you would come to understand that Hillary Clinton has most assuredly adopted the progressive wealth sharing arrangements of your beloved Jamaica. Hillary will make sure you stay out of jail, and can arrange for pardons upon receiving a modest contribution to the Clinton's favorite charity - The Clinton Foundation.

[Roland]

Re: Jesuits Regret Slave Master Past- Vow to Pay Up

Greetings Roland!

[...]I have found that here in Babylon they like to arrest you and put you in their dungeon especially if you are a Black man like me. [...]

Hello Rastafari,

According to this site ganja is legal in Washington and Wisconsin. What is holding you back putting several hundreds of seeds in the ground, waiting a few months and harvesting your green herb?

Kind regards,

Roland

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Jesuits Regret Slave Master Past- Vow to Pay Up

So the Jesuits used to do something that was at least approximately Biblical, and now they're repudiating it? The Roman institution truly has no shame.

[H. Montague Worthington]

Re: Jesuits Regret Slave Master Past- Vow to Pay Up

Disgusting. Thoroughly disgusting.

[I Man Rastafari]

Re: Jesuits Regret Slave Master Past- Vow to Pay Up

Disgusting. Thoroughly disgusting.

Yes I agree. If they want me to go to their university to help provide diversity they will have to come up with more than 400USD per week. That is insulting and I will need considerably more than that. I have a fine set of dreadlocks and perfect white teeth. I also am not part white so I am very Black of skin and I have a picturesque Jamaican accent. I think that is worth at least 750USD per week plus free room and board. I have not yet heard back from admissions and they are not yet aware of my list of demands. I will keep my white friends well informed as new information comes available. Thank you for your gracious support.

Jah Guide
Trevor

[I Man Rastafari]

Re: Jesuits Regret Slave Master Past- Vow to Pay Up

New information on this issue has come available and I wanted to share this with my white friends. A group of Black people who count themselves as descendants of the Georgetown slaves have been in communication with the white people who are in charge of Georgetown University and they have demanded that a fund of one billion dollars be set up to make repairs to the white guilt of the Jesuits. It has been made clear that this money is not for reparation payments over the slavery issue. That will come later. I plan on demanding my fair share and I wanted to let my white friends in on a little secret. Please don't tell anyone because if everyone finds out there will only be about 3USD per person.


Black Lives Matter has done considerable research on this issue and we have found the following facts. The slaves in question were sold south to Louisiana many generations ago and there are few birth records. Some years ago a woman of mixed race sued the State of Louisiana to have her birth certificate changed so that she was listed as white. The case went all the way to the Louisiana Supreme Court which ruled that after about seven generations we are all related anyway and they changed her certificate to white so as to avoid a scandal involving the ancestry of several prominent Louisiana politicians. The point is that the Louisiana Supreme Court has already ruled that every one of us here in Babylon is related to those slaves.


Now a Billion USD is a lot of money but if 300 million people apply for the money it will be split too many ways. Lets keep this a secret if we can.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Jesuits Regret Slave Master Past- Vow to Pay Up

The case went all the way to the Louisiana Supreme Court which ruled that after about seven generations we are all related anyway

I see two problems for you, Trevor dear. The first, as you point out, is that according to the Louisiana Supreme Court, everyone is related to black slaves and is black and so everyone would be entitled to a share in the money. (By the way, dear, as you are some sort of a commie, why would you not think this was a good thing?)

The second problem (which you don't seem to have realized) is that by the same argument, the same Court ruling says that everyone is also white. If this is the case, no reparations are necessary. So there would be no $1 billion forthcoming from the Jesuiticals as there would be no black people to compensate for their (entirely imaginary) sufferings.

I think your people need to sort this out and I wish you luck with it. I wouldn't like to see the catholics keep their ill-gotten gains.

All the very best, dear,
JL-V