Immigration test

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

When Trump wins the election later this year and signs an Executive Order declaring himself the greatest citizen of all time and President for Life, there needs to be some changes. One of his first acts should be to upgrade the immigration test to be sure we are getting the best foreigners coming here. We could start with the American Language test and set the pass mark to 100% otherwise you start your application over - we must stress the importance of not sounding like a foreign terrorist when integrating yourself into our monolingual culture and getting used to a diet of white bread and sprinkles.

So here's the first question - match the adjective to the noun:

Sleepy
Slimeball
Phoney
Crooked
Low energy
Nervous
Little
Lyin'
Shifty
Horseface
Kung

And here are the nouns:

Marco
Joe
Jeb
Stormy
Nancy
Schiff
Ted
Tony
Flu
Hilary
Comey

I hope you got them all right. Maybe it was too easy. Bonus point if you name the connection between all these people.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: Immigration test

After they pass the test they get to hear the Welcome To America speech:


Hallo. You Have Proven Yourself Worthy To Be An Honorary White Man. Welcome In.


And then someone teaches them the handshakes.

[Uncle Rutherford]

Re: Immigration test

Umm pardon my intrusion kind smart wonderful White Christian man Toole, but I couldn’t help but notice that the adjective “ungrateful” and the noun “Whitmer” weren’t on the list. Given the circumstances of what happened a few weeks ago, I feel it appropriate to have them added.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: Immigration test

Umm pardon my intrusion kind smart wonderful White Christian man Toole, but I couldn’t help but notice that the adjective “ungrateful” and the noun “Whitmer” weren’t on the list. Given the circumstances of what happened a few weeks ago, I feel it appropriate to have them added.

Luckily this is not the final test or you would have FAILED. But thank you for bringing up the omission. As everyone knows the official title used by the distinguished Federal government of the United States of America to refer to Gretchen Whitmer is: That woman from Michigan / Gretchen Half-Whitmer.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Immigration test

As everyone knows the official title used by the distinguished Federal government of the United States of America to refer to Gretchen Whitmer is: That woman from Michigan / Gretchen Half-Whitmer.

Thank you for that, Brother Dr. Toole, Sir. Her unofficial title in this house has been Retching Whiner, but in future we will use the approved version.

[Des]

Re: Immigration test

Luckily this is not the final test or you would have FAILED. But thank you for bringing up the omission. As everyone knows the official title used by the distinguished Federal government of the United States of America to refer to Gretchen Whitmer is: That woman from Michigan / Gretchen Half-Whitmer.

With a name like Gretchen she can't have Americas interests at heart. She probably stomps around her office in pre-war jackboots while fantasizing about der Fuhrer.


Imagine that. Jackboots! Where would you even find pre-war jackboots. Even Epic Militaria doesn't have pre-war jackboots. eBay, maybe? I think I'll try eBay. Just for research purposes, mind you.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: Immigration test

With a name like Gretchen she can't have Americas interests at heart. She probably stomps around her office in pre-war jackboots while fantasizing about der Fuhrer.
Imagine that. Jackboots! Where would you even find pre-war jackboots. Even Epic Militaria doesn't have pre-war jackboots. eBay, maybe? I think I'll try eBay. Just for research purposes, mind you.

In German of course. Stomping around her balcony talking in a fake German accent "We must Destoy ze Kondstitution! Arbiet macht kapput. Gehen sie zu Hause. Zeig heil! "

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Immigration test

Imagine that. Jackboots! Where would you even find pre-war jackboots. Even Epic Militaria doesn't have pre-war jackboots. eBay, maybe? I think I'll try eBay. Just for research purposes, mind you.

The problem with second-hand jackboots is that you don't know whose feet have been in them. If you want a bespoke jackboot, I'd recommend the Duke of Edinburgh's bootmaker, John Lobb Ltd. I understand they also made ex-prince Harry's jackboots, back in his Nazi days.

[Des]

Re: Immigration test

I understand they also made ex-prince Harry's jackboots, back in his Nazi days.

Some people just don't understand the concept of costume parties. Dirty Harry can't be a Nazi because no self respecting Nazi would marry a mulatto and raise their quadroon whelp as a tranny.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Immigration test

Some people just don't understand the concept of costume parties. Dirty Harry can't be a Nazi because no self respecting Nazi would marry a mulatto and raise their quadroon whelp as a tranny.

Good point, Brother Des. He presumably can't be one any more, if he ever really was. He was probably just a temporary trans-Nazi. Whatever he is, was, or may become, he is of absolutely no significance and will definitely fail the immigration test, if only because he can't speak Real American™.

By the way, is it true that their unfortunate child (whose name nobody can remember) is being raised as what the terminally "woke" refer to as a theybie?

[Des]

Re: Immigration test

By the way, is it true that their unfortunate child (whose name nobody can remember) is being raised as what the terminally "woke" refer to as a theybie?

The palace denies it being true. Now why would the queen go to the trouble of denying it unless it were true? Makes no sense to draw attention to it unless there were some meat on the bone, so to speak.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Immigration test

I propose a simpler and near fool proof 'Immigration Test'.

1. Were you born in the ? An original birth certificate (Hawaii not valid) along with affadvits from the midwife and Pastor that oversaw you being expressed from the womb of your Christian mother and a note (handwritten is fine) from your father confirming you are from his Pure Seed©.
2. Are you Christian? You''ll need five notarized certificates of Testamentary, available from the LBC Church office (ask Miss Cookie for them) for verification