Tweet
A Call from Father Wiesbaden
As a boy of 14, my parents always sent me to the St. Francis boy's "camp" - a 3 day event that took place once a month during June, July, and August. It was ok, I suppose; about a hundred or so boys aged 13-17 gathered near Binghamton, NY, where we camped in Tall Pines Campground.
One of the priests often celebrating mass with us was Father Wiesbaden, a fat, balding and very strict man whose job it was to go from tent to tent at night to make sure that none of us were being chewed up by the ravenous crocodiles he claimed infested those campsites. He was always very thorough, insisting that he was permitted to feel around in our sleeping bags while we snoozed. Most of us were unaware of his presence - that's how experienced he was at croc checking. Well, he called me after getting my number from Mother to tell me some shocking news:
One of my buddies from camp, Mack, has filed a lawsuit accusing Father W of abuse. Mack claims there are no crocs at Tall Pines and there never were. He says Father was using it as an excuse to enter our tents each night. It seems my help is needed in defending Father against the allegations. The only negative thing I can think of regarding this priest is that I suspect he took a pair of my underwear one night although I have never been able to prove it. I just know I was wearing them when I went to sleep and wasn't when I woke up the next morning. I only suspected him because no one else was in my tent except Tommy Jurnigan and he wore a much larger size than I, so why would he steal them?
So anyway, Father is offering me a large sum of money to speak in his behalf but I'm not supposed to tell anyone that. I knew I could share it with my trusted friends here. If I were to take the money, I could send it to Landover as a tithe, but there's just something in the back of my mind that says I shouldn't be paid to testify on his behalf.
My specialty is gnathology, not all this NCIS stuff. Does anyone have advice for me on this matter? I am certain that Pastor Zeke would not want to profit from ill-gotten gain. I need to know something soon because if I agree to do this he is also sending me on an all expenses paid vacation to his summer house in Greece (and that, too, is to be kept secret, please).
One of the priests often celebrating mass with us was Father Wiesbaden, a fat, balding and very strict man whose job it was to go from tent to tent at night to make sure that none of us were being chewed up by the ravenous crocodiles he claimed infested those campsites. He was always very thorough, insisting that he was permitted to feel around in our sleeping bags while we snoozed. Most of us were unaware of his presence - that's how experienced he was at croc checking. Well, he called me after getting my number from Mother to tell me some shocking news:
One of my buddies from camp, Mack, has filed a lawsuit accusing Father W of abuse. Mack claims there are no crocs at Tall Pines and there never were. He says Father was using it as an excuse to enter our tents each night. It seems my help is needed in defending Father against the allegations. The only negative thing I can think of regarding this priest is that I suspect he took a pair of my underwear one night although I have never been able to prove it. I just know I was wearing them when I went to sleep and wasn't when I woke up the next morning. I only suspected him because no one else was in my tent except Tommy Jurnigan and he wore a much larger size than I, so why would he steal them?
So anyway, Father is offering me a large sum of money to speak in his behalf but I'm not supposed to tell anyone that. I knew I could share it with my trusted friends here. If I were to take the money, I could send it to Landover as a tithe, but there's just something in the back of my mind that says I shouldn't be paid to testify on his behalf.
My specialty is gnathology, not all this NCIS stuff. Does anyone have advice for me on this matter? I am certain that Pastor Zeke would not want to profit from ill-gotten gain. I need to know something soon because if I agree to do this he is also sending me on an all expenses paid vacation to his summer house in Greece (and that, too, is to be kept secret, please).
Comment