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  • Johny Joe Hold
    Mayor of Freehold
     
    • Feb 2010
    • 12858

    #1

    Check in With Your Archbishop Before Having Sex

    Since Catholic priests cannot have sex they don't want you to have any either.

    The Archbishop of Philadelphia has ruled neither homers nor remarried couples can have sex. The latter need first to pay the church for an annulment from their previous marriages. After money changes hands, sex is approved.




    Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
  • Mary Etheldreda
    Gushing for Jesus
     
    • Sep 2011
    • 23775

    #2
    Re: Check in With Your Archbishop Before Having Sex

    Finally the Catholic church is being honest about pimping out sex partners.
    Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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    • Jim C. Lombardo
      Confirmed Enemy of God
      BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
      • Aug 2014
      • 565

      #3
      Re: Check in With Your Archbishop Before Having Sex

      Originally posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
      After money changes hands, sex is approved.
      Not a totally, completely bad idea, IMO.

      Comment

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