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Are you a former Roman Catholic papist that has been saved through the grace of Jesus from this Satanic cult of ring-kissing pagans? Have you renounced your idolatrous ways and converted to True Christianity™? Well, guess what? You are still a Catholic! Yes, my new Baptist brothers and sisters, if you were ever baptized a Catholic and not excommunicated, the Vatican still numbers you among their heathens. Satan cackles and rubs his gnarled hands with delight over a list of Catholic membership with YOUR NAME on it!!
So what do you do? Well, obviously, you'll want to get excommunicated as soon as possible to end any association between yourself and these hellbound losers. Unfortunately, it's not as easy to get excommunicated from the Catholic church as it once was. Offenses that once got Godly Protestants torture and violent death at the bloody hands of the papists now won't even get you a letter kicking you out of their club. But with faith in Jesus and a little persistence, you too can proudly call yourself an excommunicated Catholic.
Excommunication from the Roman Catholic church can be either imposed by an ecclesiastical body, or latae sententiae (automatic excommunication). In the latter case, you are "instantly excommunicated" once you commit the offending act, but you still need the church to officially recognize it to be removed from their registry. You must also know what you are doing beforehand and that it could result in excommunication before you commit the violation, otherwise you will be subjected to a lesser penalty because of your ignorance of the law.
The 1983 revision of the Catholic Codex Juris Canonici (Code of Canon Law) provides for nine ways a Catholic may be excommunicated latae sententiae. Five of them of them apply only to priests and bishops. (Violating the seal of the confession, etc. Molesting young boys, ironically, is not on the list). And you're not going to participate in an abortion, so that leaves three methods.
1. Apostasy, schism, or heresy against the Catholic faith (Canon 1364-1): This would seem like the best method, but in practice the Catholic church hasn't officially excommunicated a non-priest under this law in decades, so your chances aren't good. If you go this route, be prepared to write a lot of letters to Catholic officials trying to make them kick you out.
2. Physically attacking the pope (Canon 1370): As much as you may want to, I don't recommend this as you will probably be shot.
3. Violation of the sacred species (Canon 1367): Destroying a consecrated host, giving it to a non-Catholic, or otherwise desecrating it. This is probably the way to go, but it has to be public for the church to recognize it.
Unfortunately, you'll have to go to a Catholic church one more time for this, during their black mass no less, but we must all suffer for our faith sometimes. I recommend waiting outside for the first half hour or so, since you really only need to be there for the Satanic pseudo-cannibalism ceremony that is Communion. In the meantime, if one of the pagans approaches you and asks why you are skulking around outside the doors, just stick your fingers in your ears and recite the Lord's Prayer.
When the time comes, file up with all the other idol-worshippers as if you too are going to slap sweet baby Jesus in the face by participating in this profane ritual to act out eating his flesh. Then, when the head pedophile gives you that nasty wafer, shout "Praise Jesus!" and throw it on the ground and stomp on it. You may wish to jump up and down a few times for effect. And don't hold in your laughter; it's good to let it out.
You will likely receive stunned silence and horrified stares as a reward for this brave act (true followers of Jesus are never appreciated in unholy places), but you can use this undivided attention in a roomful of nonbelievers as a God-given opportunity. Take this chance to minister to them in a loud voice about how they're going to be brutally sodomized by demons while their flesh burns for an eternity in hell, because they say the Hail Mary. You will likely have at least a few minutes before the police arrive to escort you from the building, so make sure you have a few choice Bible quotes from your KJV ready.
Congratulations! Once you receive your official excommunication decree, you can have a party celebrating Jesus Christ and your freedom from this dangerous cult. Rejoice in your True Christian™ status knowing the pope and the rest of Satan's minions are going to hell without you.
So what do you do? Well, obviously, you'll want to get excommunicated as soon as possible to end any association between yourself and these hellbound losers. Unfortunately, it's not as easy to get excommunicated from the Catholic church as it once was. Offenses that once got Godly Protestants torture and violent death at the bloody hands of the papists now won't even get you a letter kicking you out of their club. But with faith in Jesus and a little persistence, you too can proudly call yourself an excommunicated Catholic.
Excommunication from the Roman Catholic church can be either imposed by an ecclesiastical body, or latae sententiae (automatic excommunication). In the latter case, you are "instantly excommunicated" once you commit the offending act, but you still need the church to officially recognize it to be removed from their registry. You must also know what you are doing beforehand and that it could result in excommunication before you commit the violation, otherwise you will be subjected to a lesser penalty because of your ignorance of the law.
The 1983 revision of the Catholic Codex Juris Canonici (Code of Canon Law) provides for nine ways a Catholic may be excommunicated latae sententiae. Five of them of them apply only to priests and bishops. (Violating the seal of the confession, etc. Molesting young boys, ironically, is not on the list). And you're not going to participate in an abortion, so that leaves three methods.
1. Apostasy, schism, or heresy against the Catholic faith (Canon 1364-1): This would seem like the best method, but in practice the Catholic church hasn't officially excommunicated a non-priest under this law in decades, so your chances aren't good. If you go this route, be prepared to write a lot of letters to Catholic officials trying to make them kick you out.
2. Physically attacking the pope (Canon 1370): As much as you may want to, I don't recommend this as you will probably be shot.
3. Violation of the sacred species (Canon 1367): Destroying a consecrated host, giving it to a non-Catholic, or otherwise desecrating it. This is probably the way to go, but it has to be public for the church to recognize it.
Unfortunately, you'll have to go to a Catholic church one more time for this, during their black mass no less, but we must all suffer for our faith sometimes. I recommend waiting outside for the first half hour or so, since you really only need to be there for the Satanic pseudo-cannibalism ceremony that is Communion. In the meantime, if one of the pagans approaches you and asks why you are skulking around outside the doors, just stick your fingers in your ears and recite the Lord's Prayer.
When the time comes, file up with all the other idol-worshippers as if you too are going to slap sweet baby Jesus in the face by participating in this profane ritual to act out eating his flesh. Then, when the head pedophile gives you that nasty wafer, shout "Praise Jesus!" and throw it on the ground and stomp on it. You may wish to jump up and down a few times for effect. And don't hold in your laughter; it's good to let it out.
You will likely receive stunned silence and horrified stares as a reward for this brave act (true followers of Jesus are never appreciated in unholy places), but you can use this undivided attention in a roomful of nonbelievers as a God-given opportunity. Take this chance to minister to them in a loud voice about how they're going to be brutally sodomized by demons while their flesh burns for an eternity in hell, because they say the Hail Mary. You will likely have at least a few minutes before the police arrive to escort you from the building, so make sure you have a few choice Bible quotes from your KJV ready.
Congratulations! Once you receive your official excommunication decree, you can have a party celebrating Jesus Christ and your freedom from this dangerous cult. Rejoice in your True Christian™ status knowing the pope and the rest of Satan's minions are going to hell without you.
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