My entire family seems to be catholic. What should i do?

[Brother Carn]

Well i seem to be the only one out of my entire family to be a Christian. Ive been trying to turn them all into Christians but nothing seems to be working.
Any ideas?

[handmaiden]

Re: My entire family seems to be catholic. What should i do?

Well i seem to be the only one out of my entire family to be a Christian. Ive been trying to turn them all into Christians but nothing seems to be working.
Any ideas?

Patiently read aloud to them all the verses of the Bible that prove the falseness and evil of their Catholicism. You may need to get them slightly buzzed first.

If they reject anything that you have to say, then turn your back on them and never look back.


Lovingly Yours,

Handmaiden

[Father Maurice Lester]

Re: My entire family seems to be catholic. What should i do?

Well i seem to be the only one out of my entire family to be a Christian. Ive been trying to turn them all into Christians but nothing seems to be working.
Any ideas?

Join them!

Do not let the rabble within places like this fool you into thinking we Catholics are anything but the platinum standard of Christianity. After two thousand years on the leading edge of Christ's message, if we weren't what He intended as His messenger wouldn't He have replaced us by now?

Think about it.



Bless you, my potential Papist,
Father Mo



.

[handmaiden]

Re: My entire family seems to be catholic. What should i do?

if we weren't what He intended as His messenger wouldn't He have replaced us by now?

.

He replaced you, all right. And He allowed your kind to return to the vomit which it originally spewed.

Think about it, kid. Do you want Jesus to have your back or a Catholic priest/pervert at your back?

The only reason that the Catholic church is holding on at all is that they have kept various populations poor and populating. These poverty-stricken, illiterate, superstitious people probably look forward to mass each week because the communion wafer makes up a large part of their weekly diet. And they use the little holy water fonts to bathe in because they have no indoor plumbing.

But the Catholic church does have a billion dollar art collection.


Disapprovingly Yours,

Handmaiden

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: My entire family seems to be catholic. What should i do?

Well i seem to be the only one out of my entire family to be a Christian. Ive been trying to turn them all into Christians but nothing seems to be working.
Any ideas?

I'd say shunning is called for here.

"Whosoever transgresseth, and abideth not in the doctrine of Christ, hath not God. He that abideth in the doctrine of Christ, he hath both the Father and the Son. If there come any unto you, and bring not this doctrine, receive him not into your house, neither bid him God speed: For he that biddeth him God speed is partaker of his evil deeds" -- 2 John 1:9-11

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: My entire family seems to be catholic. What should i do?

Join them!

Do not let the rabble within places like this fool you into thinking we Catholics are anything but the platinum standard of Christianity. After two thousand years on the leading edge of Christ's message, if we weren't what He intended as His messenger wouldn't He have replaced us by now?

Think about it.



Bless you, my potential Papist,
Father Mo

Yes. This man has nothing but love in his eyes. I would trust this freak with my salvation?



Or our Savior Jesus Christ?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: My entire family seems to be catholic. What should i do?

Yes. This man has nothing but love in his eyes. I would trust this freak with my salvation?

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Who made that crucifix of his, anyway? Tim Burton?

[Oakland "Reb" Griner]

Re: My entire family seems to be catholic. What should i do?

The pope is the smegma of religion.