Transubstantiate

[Roberta]

Father Martin can probably answer this question.

I have heard that when RC priests do their magic show they actually really really do change the bread and wine into the body and blood of the Christ. What this means is that RC communion is really a rite of cannibalism and vampirism.

How do you think Jesus feels about people taking a bite out of Him?

In Him, with Him, through Him, huh?

[One-eyed Jack]

Re: Transubstantiate

I would like to add a question to Roberta's interesting philsophical query. We all know that priests are required to drink the leftover communiion wine so that "Christ's holy blood" is not dumped into a sewer:

Independent.ie, Friday November 02 2007 PRIESTS fear that altar wine will put them over the legal limit, making it impossible for them to drive to conduct essential duties....One priest in a rural north Galway parish said he sometimes has to finish the wine left over in the chalices. He feels that this could put him over the limit if he had to drive afterwards.

According to church law, wine which has been consecrated must be consumed as part of the Mass.

"What option do I have but drink the wine, as the chalices have to be emptied before being put back in the tabernacle?" he said. "The only other possibility would be to ask some members of the congregation to drink the excess wine. This would be unseemly and certainly not Church practice."

My question: Is the chronic drunkeness of priests a primary reason God has turned His back on the Catholic Church? Or does that shameful behavior take a back seat to the Church's bigger failures: its penchant for pogroms, bloodthirsty crusades, the piling up of gold and other worldly treasure, and the torture of "heretics"?

~~ OEJ

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Transubstantiate

I would like to add a question to Roberta's interesting philsophical query. We all know that priests are required to drink the leftover communiion wine so that "Christ's holy blood" is not dumped into a sewer:

My question: Is the chronic drunkeness of priests a primary reason God has turned His back on the Catholic Church? Or does that shameful behavior take a back seat to the Church's bigger failures: its penchant for pogroms, bloodthirsty crusades, the piling up of gold and other worldly treasure, and the torture of "heretics"?

If a Catholic Priest ever sobered up, would he realise that his entire Church was a ludicrous scam, or do they know already and just not care? Also, are the terrorist Irish drunk because they're Catholic, or Catholic because they're drunk?

[Roberta]

Re: Transubstantiate

Padre Martin where are you? Are you sidestepping this question?

Please explain to us what transubstantiation is. What really happens when you open the tabernacle, turn your back (I know you are being a bit modern and no longer turning your back) and say your magic prayers? Do you really have the power to alter the substances of the wine and wafer?

What is the deal with those Monstrances they like to parade around with in third world nations? Are they used to banish pagans and witches?

Just pretend this is the RCIA and give us some honest answers.

Yours per omnia secula seculorum,

Robbie

[Roberta]

Re: Transubstantiate

A great tune by Tom Lehrer http://www.turoks.net/Cabana/VaticanRag.htm

First you get down on your knees
Fiddle with your rosaries
Bow your head with great respect
And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect
Do whatever steps you want if
You have cleared them with the Pontiff
Everybody say his own kyrie eleison
Doin' the Vatican Rag
Get in line in that processional
Step into that small confessional
There, the guy who's got religion'll
Tell you if your sin's original
If it is, try playin' it safer
Drink the wine and chew the wafer
Two, four, six, eight
Time to transubstantiate
So get down upon your knees
Fiddle with your rosaries
Bow your head with great respect
And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect
Make a cross on your abdomen
When in Rome do like a Roman
Ave Maria, gee it's good to see ya
Gettin' ecstatic an' sorta dramatic an'
Doin' the Vatican Rag

[Father Thomas Martin]

Re: Transubstantiate

Read the Last Supper accounts (Matthew, Mark, Luke, 1 Corinthians) and John 6. Then you'll know where we get it from.

[Roberta]

Re: Transubstantiate

I have. Now please explain what transubstantiation is and the Biblical foundation for its recipe.

C'mon Father, this is the root of your Eucharistic church. Surely you can do more than point me to scripture. This is your opportunity to announce to all viewers why the RC folks hold the only keys to Purgatory.

You seem like a nice man and I have never accused you of paedophilia or sodomy. Just give us all a precis on the body and blood stuff.

PS: I am an Anglican and we view it as symbolic. We also allow poor divorcees and maried RC priests to enjoy our sacraments. I know that celibacy is all about preserving Rome's treasure chest and that you guys (normal guys) have always been allowed to have mistresses. I do not subscribe to the belief that all RC priests are finocchio.

[One-eyed Jack]

Re: Transubstantiate

Oh, Tom, Tom, Tom. Why can you not engage in constructive discussion?

For shame, Tom. Think of your compatriots, the Catholic priests braving the perils of Amazonia, banging a few native boys and getting shot full of poison arrows -- and here you toss off an answer that is the equivalent of "I ain't gonna tell ya, read the Bible, beotch."

Shame, Tom, shame.

Roberta's question is actually very deep. If one puts transubstantiated wine under a microscope, can one see the blood corpuscles of Christ?

If yes, can one then extract the Holy DNA from these corpuscles, and find the genetic ID of Our Lord? Identical DNA in every mouthful of transubstantiated wine, no matter where and when it was consecrated? What a boon to believers that would be! A scientifically verifiable miracle at last!

If no, then is the Catholic "miracle" of transubstantiation merely delusional fruitcakery, and Catholic "priests" merely promoters of mass psychosis?

Come to think of it...priests commonly become raging alcoholics from drinking consecrated wine -- Christ's blood. How can you get drunk if the wine turned to blood? Did Christ have a normal blood-alcohol level of 12% or so? That's pretty high! Blood alcohol levels greater than about 0.5% kills most normal people deader than a pickled salamander. Of course Christ was God -- but was He unbelievably drunk all the time?

Interesting! I believe that Christ never said transubstantiation is symbolic. Did He lie? Are the Catholics lying now? (Well, we all know Catholics lie like dirty rugs -- "We have dealt with all the boy-buggering priests, and, uh, and none of them were sent back to work with youth...not more than four or five times anyway...")

Engage, here, Tom. Explain your faith.

~~ OEJ

[Roberta]

Re: Transubstantiate

Now that was very incisive OEJ. I never even considered the DNA aspect. With our ability to clone, we could eventually populate the entire world with little Christs. Think about it--no more moslemites, himdoos, shittoists or aetheist gaywads. We would finally enjoy peace on earth!