This Day in History: January 13th

[Dennis Lukes]

A slow day in history.



1691 - God sends George Fox, founder of the Quaker cult, to Hell for his blasphemy.


1929 - American badass Wyatt Earp passes away, and is called to Heaven by Jesus.


2018 - Chink King Kim Jong-Un launches a ballistic missile at the United States, but it is disarmed by Jesus. President Trump's warning text message works perfectly.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: This Day in History: January 13th

Satan never takes a vacation:

1607 – The Bank of Genoa fails after announcement of national bankruptcy in Spain.

Despite Mexicans being to blame, Genoa suffers. Mexicans should pay reparations to the Genoans, who are still triggered by the legacy of this historical oppression. And if they don't feel triggered, then that's false consciousness and we need to "woke" them up with mandatory diversity education/pro-grievance demagoguery.

1822 – The design of the Greek flag is adopted by the First National Assembly at Epidaurus.

Sinners spitting on history, the TRUE Greek flag looks like this:


Next year in Constantinople!

1888 – The National Geographic Society is founded in Washington, D.C.

They go on to publish world's most widely distributed pornographic magazine. Entire generations of boys grow up with atoll-fever after seeing naked Tahiti savages and worse.

1910 – The first public radio broadcast takes place; a live performance of the operas Cavalleria rusticana and Pagliacci are sent out over the airwaves from the Metropolitan Opera House in New York.

Satan's favorite tool, it corrupts generations, until Rush Limbaugh makes it worthwhile.

Pre-dittohead radio:

Even park benches were not safe during the Jazz era. Thank the LORD we have no public parks or benches in Freehold.

1953 – An article appears in Pravda accusing some of the most prestigious and prominent doctors, mostly Jews, in the Soviet Union of taking part in a vast plot to poison members of the top Soviet political and military leadership.

Socialized healthcare. Just sayin'.

1968 – Johnny Cash performs live at Folsom State Prison.

Should have stayed there, devil rocker.

1993 – The Chemical Weapons Convention (CWC) is signed

Bunch of gun-grabbers. The best defence against a bad guy with nerve gas is a good guy with nerve gas. Why chemical weapons should be legalized.

2002 – A wild fox wanders into the United States Supreme Court Building and evades capture for more than a day despite being spotted by a police officer and observed on video cameras.

Please write your own joke for this. I know you can.