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The Case for Re-invading Vietnam
Brothers and sisters in Christ, the other day I was viewing a military documentary with my youngest boy, Kenny. He told me that he'd heard America had never lost a war, and was confused because he thought we lost in Vietnam. I told him that we DID win in Vietnam, but the liberals and hippies stabbed us in the back in Washington. Then I gave him a taste of the rod (Proverbs 13:24, Proverbs 26:3), made him recite the Pledge of Allegiance, and sent him off to read his Bible.
Is this what they're teaching our children in school? That we're a bunch of sissy losers? The
has NEVER lost a war. EVER. Okay, the War of 1812 was basically a draw, and half of the country lost the Civil War, and the Korean War didn't really work out as planned, and Vietnam wasn't as successful as it should've been, and the Iraq War sort of opened up a power vacuum that led to the rise of ISIS, and the War in Afghanistan is still dragging on with no end in sight (thanks Obama), but we've NEVER lost a war. This got me to thinking that, to really emphasize this unassailable fact, we need to go back and finish the job. I'm going to lay out the case for re-invading Vietnam.
1. They're still communists
Vietnam is a one-party state, and that party is the Communist Party of Vietnam. We invaded that gook-infested jungle in the first place to root out the commies, and we succeeded in killing hundreds of thousands of them. However, we didn't get ALL of them. Like fleas, the ones that survived kept multiplying until they were back in full force.
2. They kill babies for fun
Infanticide has been legal in Vietnam since the 1960s. In fact, they have one of the highest abortion rates in the world. 40% of all gook babies are murdered in the womb. Some of those infant souls might have found Christ and been saved. Not likely, but possible.
3. They eat dogs
"Oh, that's just a stereotype you racist, it's not true!" Well then why did the gook government have to step in and tell the people to stop eating dogs because they were getting rabies from it?
4. They have no respect for their betters
The gooks are insubordinate little cretins. They need to be reminded of their place. America is #1. Vietnam shouldn't even crack the top 80.
5. We have Republicans in power
Who were the primary architects of the Vietnam War, you ask? President John F. Kennedy (Democrat), President Lyndon Johnson (Democrat), Defense Secretary Robert McNamara (Democrat), Secretary of State Dean Rusk (Democrat), General William Westmoreland (Republican, but he let Democrats tell him what to do), President Richard Nixon (RINO), and National Security Advisor Henry Kissinger (Jewish "Republican" Zionist). If you're wondering why we lost, look no further. Democrats are limp-wristed cowards who can't fight in wars, let alone win them. With The Donald and whoever his best and brightest happen to be at that particular moment at the helm, the gooks wouldn't stand a chance.
6. They are heathens who deny Christ and worship Satan
There is no evidence of a single
in the entire nation of Vietnam. About three quarters of the little yellow monkeys 
practice paganism. 12% or so are Buddhists. 7% of gooks are Mary-hailing papists who quite literally lick cats as they devour them for supper. God wants us to exterminate heathens (Deuteronomy 2:33-34, Deuteronomy 7:1-3, Numbers 33:51-52, Romans 6:23, 2 Thessalonians 1:8). Let's take Vietnam for Christ!
7. Vengeance
Romans 12:19 says "Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord." Jesus has been waiting over 40 years for revenge. How much longer must we keep Him waiting before we wipe the smirks off their little gook faces and send them to Hell?
8. We won't make the same mistakes as last time
We won practically every single military engagement of the Vietnam War. Even their beloved Tet Offensive was ultimately ineffective militarily. No, the war was lost at home. It was the hippies, the negroes, the feminists, the college professors, the rock musicians, the Jews, the socialists, the draft dodgers who spat in the faces of our troops, who marched and picketed, who worked for the Comintern to make us lose. Well, we won't let it happen again. I propose a two-front war, one force invading Vietnam and the other to be deployed against troublemakers and subversives on our own soil. Make war, not love! This is what Jesus would want (Matthew 10:34-36).
There you have it. 8 solid, undebatable reasons for us to reinvade Vietnam. I've sent this proposal to my congressional representatives as well as directly to the White House. I pray that Donald will add this to his reelection campaign in 2020. We're Making America Great Again. Vietnam has never been great, or even good... but it could be.
Is this what they're teaching our children in school? That we're a bunch of sissy losers? The
has NEVER lost a war. EVER. Okay, the War of 1812 was basically a draw, and half of the country lost the Civil War, and the Korean War didn't really work out as planned, and Vietnam wasn't as successful as it should've been, and the Iraq War sort of opened up a power vacuum that led to the rise of ISIS, and the War in Afghanistan is still dragging on with no end in sight (thanks Obama), but we've NEVER lost a war. This got me to thinking that, to really emphasize this unassailable fact, we need to go back and finish the job. I'm going to lay out the case for re-invading Vietnam.1. They're still communists
Vietnam is a one-party state, and that party is the Communist Party of Vietnam. We invaded that gook-infested jungle in the first place to root out the commies, and we succeeded in killing hundreds of thousands of them. However, we didn't get ALL of them. Like fleas, the ones that survived kept multiplying until they were back in full force.
2. They kill babies for fun
Infanticide has been legal in Vietnam since the 1960s. In fact, they have one of the highest abortion rates in the world. 40% of all gook babies are murdered in the womb. Some of those infant souls might have found Christ and been saved. Not likely, but possible.
3. They eat dogs
"Oh, that's just a stereotype you racist, it's not true!" Well then why did the gook government have to step in and tell the people to stop eating dogs because they were getting rabies from it?
4. They have no respect for their betters
The gooks are insubordinate little cretins. They need to be reminded of their place. America is #1. Vietnam shouldn't even crack the top 80.
5. We have Republicans in power
Who were the primary architects of the Vietnam War, you ask? President John F. Kennedy (Democrat), President Lyndon Johnson (Democrat), Defense Secretary Robert McNamara (Democrat), Secretary of State Dean Rusk (Democrat), General William Westmoreland (Republican, but he let Democrats tell him what to do), President Richard Nixon (RINO), and National Security Advisor Henry Kissinger (Jewish "Republican" Zionist). If you're wondering why we lost, look no further. Democrats are limp-wristed cowards who can't fight in wars, let alone win them. With The Donald and whoever his best and brightest happen to be at that particular moment at the helm, the gooks wouldn't stand a chance.
6. They are heathens who deny Christ and worship Satan
There is no evidence of a single
in the entire nation of Vietnam. About three quarters of the little yellow monkeys practice paganism. 12% or so are Buddhists. 7% of gooks are Mary-hailing papists who quite literally lick cats as they devour them for supper. God wants us to exterminate heathens (Deuteronomy 2:33-34, Deuteronomy 7:1-3, Numbers 33:51-52, Romans 6:23, 2 Thessalonians 1:8). Let's take Vietnam for Christ!7. Vengeance
Romans 12:19 says "Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord." Jesus has been waiting over 40 years for revenge. How much longer must we keep Him waiting before we wipe the smirks off their little gook faces and send them to Hell?
8. We won't make the same mistakes as last time
We won practically every single military engagement of the Vietnam War. Even their beloved Tet Offensive was ultimately ineffective militarily. No, the war was lost at home. It was the hippies, the negroes, the feminists, the college professors, the rock musicians, the Jews, the socialists, the draft dodgers who spat in the faces of our troops, who marched and picketed, who worked for the Comintern to make us lose. Well, we won't let it happen again. I propose a two-front war, one force invading Vietnam and the other to be deployed against troublemakers and subversives on our own soil. Make war, not love! This is what Jesus would want (Matthew 10:34-36).
There you have it. 8 solid, undebatable reasons for us to reinvade Vietnam. I've sent this proposal to my congressional representatives as well as directly to the White House. I pray that Donald will add this to his reelection campaign in 2020. We're Making America Great Again. Vietnam has never been great, or even good... but it could be.
He's only 63.
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