A question for the Scotch

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Today I read in the news that Scots-land is holding elections. That's nice to see improvement. They say the election is a de facto referendum on independence after an historical 300 year union with England and some small islands. So given that, I have a question for the Scotch people: does anyone actually like it there? Every time I see a picture I see concrete, rain and evidence of substance abuse. Is that what you like?

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: A question for the Scotch

Those heathens don't really care about independence, or community, or responsibility or even common sense. They care only about an excuse to leave work early and spend the rest of the day at the pub getting drunk. They need the kind of wake up call the Holy Spirit gave Saul/Paul - a Spiritual 2x4 upside the back of the head so they wake up three days later with a different name and personality. Preferably one that isn't afraid to work. Personally I don't know why the Holy Ghost doesn't do that more. It was remarkably effective, but I'm not one to tell someone else how to do their job so I'll just keep my mouth shut and wait in faith for His Superior Plan to come to fruition.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: A question for the Scotch

Brother Dr. Toole, Sir, there is really little point in asking questions of the Scotch. They are either too stupid to understand the question, or too drunk to answer.
I don't think they can intentionally have said anything about a de facto referendum, three words which they are unable to pronounce. Perhaps you misheard? It would be uncharitable (and unladylike) for me to suggest what they might have said.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: A question for the Scotch

They care only about an excuse to leave work early and spend the rest of the day at the pub getting drunk.

Unlike the English, of course, who merely enjoy an occasional beverage.

They need the kind of wake up call the Holy Spirit gave Saul/Paul - a Spiritual 2x4 upside the back of the head so they wake up three days later with a different name and personality. Preferably one that isn't afraid to work.

Oh yes a little IQ adjustment often works wonders for non-believers in the power of the IQ adjustment procedure.

three words which they are unable to pronounce

Well it wouldn't be the first -or last- 3 word phrase the Scottish have struggled to put together after a "quiet night" at home with the kids.

[Isabella White]

Re: A question for the Scotch

One wonders if the Scots will even remember when voting day comes around. Considering the state of their people (photo attached), it's unlikely that they could pry themselves away from their "refreshments" long enough to vote.

I once had a Scottish neighbour: Mrs. Dalrymple. I never did know her first name, as she insisted that she be called Mrs. Dalrymple. I invited her over to tea and Bible study, hoping she would see the truth about her Cathyolick "church", but it didn't work out so well. She was impossible to understand, and what little I did make out was all about "English crimes".

And, now that I think of it, isn't it Scotland that has a female Prime Minister? I seem to recall something in the ramblings that we've had on from another confused woman, that Miss Shah person. It's no wonder their nation is in such a mess! Well, election or no election, it's doubtful that things will change for the better when this is the situation at hand:

[Dennis Lukes]

Re: A question for the Scotch

It is God's will that Scotland remain a part of the United Kingdom. Jesus Christ arranged it so that James VI, King of Scots, would inherit the English crown and then commission the KJV 1611 Bible in English. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

[Isabella White]

Re: A question for the Scotch

Brother Dr. Toole, Sir, there is really little point in asking questions of the Scotch. They are either too stupid to understand the question, or too drunk to answer.

Goodness, yes, dear Sister Joanna. I once saw part of a "sporting" event on the television, from Scotland. Those men were having a terrible time, due to their heavy drinking and being in a "falling down drunk" state. And, what kind of "sport" do they call this in the attached photo? It's highly doubtful that any of those Scots could be a team member on our NFL -- when they can't even stand up straight for a few seconds!

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: A question for the Scotch

And, what kind of "sport" do they call this in the attached photo?

I believe that is called "swinging the lead", Sister. It has long been the Scotch national sport.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: A question for the Scotch

The only thing the Scotch's think they're going to gain by independence is the North Sea oil - they need it to prop up their socialist economy (imagine that, socialists that don't want to share their wealth with anyone else). As such, they should be forced to remain part of the United Kingdom (it was the UK that built those oil rigs).

The only other thing the Scotch's were known for was inventing an early crude wireless telegraph that consisted of setting fire to crosses on high hills.

Other than that, there is nothing to recommend Scotchland, and you don't see lines of legal or illegal immigrants trying to get in. The reason is bagpipes - no one but the Scotches can stand that music and culture.

Back in Roman times there was a wall (Hadrian's Wall) to keep these barbarians out.


Memo: I'm wondering if playing bagpipe music at our Mexican border wall would keep them out.

[Phil Ander]

Re: A question for the Scotch

The reason is bagpipes - no one but the Scotches can stand that music and culture.

So right, accidentally starting the microwave oven while your cat is inside and the sound of bagpipes is nearly identical. Unfortunately the sound of bagpipes persists somewhat longer.


For those of us who need to be reminded about how bad massed bagpipes sound, I give you this

Nasty sound. Please petition to remove all bagpipe music from YouTube


Phil "banjo" Ander

[Isabella White]

Re: A question for the Scotch

So right, accidentally starting the microwave oven while your cat is inside and the sound of bagpipes is nearly identical. Unfortunately the sound of bagpipes persists somewhat longer.

For those of us who need to be reminded about how bad massed bagpipes sound, I give you this

Nasty sound. Please petition to remove all bagpipe music from YouTube

Phil "banjo" Ander

Oh, absolutely so, dear Brother Ander! I had to mute the sound on my IBM 386 computer, as Miss FiFi was trying to enjoy her kitty kibble! I shall start a petition -- immediately -- to have all beastly bagpipe videos removed from video sites, starting with this one:

[Dennis Lukes]

Re: A question for the Scotch

Please petition to remove all bagpipe music from YouTube

Amen! Those PC babies at JewTube deplatformed all my favorite Johnny Rebel songs and James Manning and Fred Phelps sermons, but they leave up God-hating filthy trash like THIS?

Devil music!

[Harsha Shah]

Re: A question for the Scotch

Yes, it is I, Harsha Shah here, and I am answering your questions. I have not been sleeping, yes, for many days now as I have been watching the election results slowly unravelling. Yes, it is now a big victory for our party, that is the SNP, that is the Scottish national party, and, yes, they are writing in the Scotsman, that is, one of our newspaper how the pro-independence parties now have 56% of all seats. Yes. I am hoping that this is not offending you, but we proud and independent Scotswomen are now planning to have a second referendum that will about our independence from the English. Yes, I am hoping that I am not offending you.

Yes, many of my friends who are Christians were praying that your Jesus would be giving us the victory and he was listening and granting the wish. Now the Mr. Johnson of England is suddenly also willing to negotiate with our Mrs. Sturgeon, the first minister. Yes. I am thinking now that all gods more or less imaginary have answered the prayers of us Scots and will be guiding us to freedom. Yes. I am hoping that I am not offending you but if I am offending you it is Jesus who was giving us this victory and you should be taking these issues up with him, aren't you thinking"! Yes. I asm sorry if I am offending you but I have been tasking a few drops of Highland Park single malt (it is very good and peaty as us Scotswomen) and I am feeling a bit tipsy, yes.

[Dennis Lukes]

Re: A question for the Scotch

Yes, it is I, Harsha Shah here, and

Well, speak of the devil. Say, why are you pretending to be Scottish when you're very clearly a Punjabi Hindoo (Jeremiah 13:23)? If you actually want to fool people, try wearing plaid and eating haggis. Might as well actually do it right if you're going to be damned for bearing false witness anyway Proverbs 19:5).

[Harsha Shah]

Re: A question for the Scotch

Well, speak of the devil. Say, why are you pretending to be Scottish when you're very clearly a Punjabi Hindoo (Jeremiah 13:23)? If you actually want to fool people, try wearing plaid and eating haggis. Might as well actually do it right if you're going to be damned for bearing false witness anyway Proverbs 19:5).

I am very sorry, Mr, Lukes, that I was offending you, yes, and I am sorry if I will be offending you again, yes, but my ancestors were originating from Gujarati, that is a part of India that is different from Punjab, yes it is. Gujarati is the state, from where also Gandhi-ji was coming from, yes. Gujarati is the biggest state or country in the world that is almost totally vegetarian, yes. It has been a blessing for my ancestors. I am inquiring where your ancestors were coming from, Mr. Lukes, and if you are still representing the country of their origin or the United States, yes? I am sorry if I am offending you but I am now seeing that all gods including your jesus were supporting us in this election and that is making us strong and independent, yes. I am asking you, Mr. Lukes to try praying for our election to be overturned and then we could be seeing in an empirical manner, who Jesus is listening to, yes?

I am thinking that your Jesus is like the story of the blind men and the elephant, yes? Are you being familiar with it, Mr. Lukes? You are hearing the trumpeting sounds from an elephant's trunk as the answers to your prayers and my christian friends are taking the answers they get from the heart murmurs as the only ones and the russians are thinking that it is only the noise of the rumbling intestine that is their answer. But there is also the infrasound and the sound of the elephant's feet when it is stamping the ground, yes! I am sure that this is a metaphor that can not be offending you, yes?