Did Vampires Exist Before Jesus?

[handmaiden]

The reason that I am asking this is that we all know that vampires are repelled by the Cross. So, if they existed before Jesus and His sacrifice on the Cross, then vampires would have been wandering around, drinking blood and thinking everything was hunky-dory. Even if they encountered a cross or two, it would have had no power to burn them, because Jesus had not yet sanctified that object as a symbol of His power.

After Jesus' temporary death, crosses became the Cross and the world soon learned that Crosses were signs that Jesus was Lord. Many mighty things were done through the power of the Cross, included the conquest of a lot of territory. At some point in history, people used the Cross to ward off evil, including vampires. Is it possible that God allowed Satan to invent vampires in order to showcase the wondrous power of the Cross?

I'm not at all sure about any of this, but Herschel Walker spent a lot of time talking about vampires recently, so it occurred to me that it might be important. Do any of our more learned scientists and scholars know the answer?

[Gaixotasuna]

Re: Did Vampires Exist Before Jesus?

Yes, vampires existed

hahahahah

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Did Vampires Exist Before Jesus?

Yes, vampires existed

hahahahah

You have not included any evidence for your claim but additionally I'm curious, what they did?

Thank you.

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Did Vampires Exist Before Jesus?

Yes, vampires existed

hahahahah

Dear Sinner,

At least you can copy Baudelaire in your sorry signature but why spread smudge on God's favorite tongue, American. Instead, you could just use the original vulgar Latin of Baudelaire: "Ô Satan, prends pitié de ma longue misère!" What Baudelaire failed to realize, and apparently you as well, is that the longue misère is a transient thing if and only if you accept Jesus as your Savior® and follow all His commandments. If you do that, the verse Luke 14:26...
If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.

...will be erased and you'll enter Heaven. If you don't, Jesus won't Save™ you from what He'll do to you unless you repent®. Baudelaire never got it and tried to drown his longue misère with absinthe. As for vampires, the hybrids of demons and homosexuals, it seems that they did not actually exist before Crucifixion BUT they were prophesied by God, as expected.

Psalms 78:44
And had turned their rivers into blood; and their floods, that they could not drink.

This means that drinking blood was not accomplished during OT times.

1 Chronicles 11:19
And said, My God forbid it me, that I should do this thing: shall I drink the blood of these men that have put their lives in jeopardy? for with the jeopardy of their lives they brought it. Therefore he would not drink it. These things did these three mightiest.

This also suggests that there was no blood-drinking during those days. Of course, the Godly GOP candidate would have preferred being a werewolf, which is suspicious, as furries are also frowned upon by God, who is Jesus.

Zephaniah 1:8
And it shall come to pass in the day of the LORD'S sacrifice, that I will punish the princes, and the king's children, and all such as are clothed with strange apparel.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Did Vampires Exist Before Jesus?

if they existed before Jesus and His sacrifice on the Cross, then vampires would have been wandering around, drinking blood and thinking everything was hunky-dory.

Sister, I do believe you may have uncovered the origins of the Catholic Church. If any cult is a blood cult, it is they.

[WWJDnow]

Re: Did Vampires Exist Before Jesus?

Vampires are certainly real, as the Holy Bible tells us in Proverbs 30:14:

There is a generation, whose teeth are as swords, and their jaw teeth as knives, to devour the poor from off the earth, and the needy from among men.

However, although they are predators, they do not pre-date Jesus. Jesus is one personality of the triune God, and God created the world. So Jesus was around before the vampires.

[handmaiden]

Re: Did Vampires Exist Before Jesus?

Vampires are certainly real, as the Holy Bible tells us in Proverbs 30:14:

There is a generation, whose teeth are as swords, and their jaw teeth as knives, to devour the poor from off the earth, and the needy from among men.

However, although they are predators, they do not pre-date Jesus. Jesus is one personality of the triune God, and God created the world. So Jesus was around before the vampires.

That makes a lot of sense, Brother. So vampires were around before Jesus suffered on the Cross and they were able to run rampant until Jesus' sacrifice not only paid for our sins, but also provided a sure-fire, easy to deploy weapon against vampires.

Boy, I bet they were mighty surprised when the first Christian thought to wave a cross at them! Before the Crucifixion, it was just a lower-case "t" and didn't bother them any more than any other letter. Then, Jesus sanctified us and the Cross and those little "t's" started to burn!


Praise The Lord!

[WWJDnow]

Re: Did Vampires Exist Before Jesus?

Indeed, Sister Handmaiden. As True Christians™ we can use the power of prayer, invoking the name of Jesus to protect us from virtually any danger. And for the rest, I recommend keeping an assault rifle nearby at all times.

[Dennis Lukes]

Re: Did Vampires Exist Before Jesus?

I always thought vampires came about in the Dark Ages as a metaphor for Jews. Sinister, hook-nosed, pallid creatures who dwell in darkness, suck blood both metaphorically and literally and are repelled by the sign of the cross - am I talking about a vampire or a Jew?

[Unfalsifiable]

Re: Did Vampires Exist Before Jesus?

Leviticus 17:10-14 there are instructions warning against vampiric behaviour. It explains they will be "cut off", so I suppose the crosses were just a useful way of doing that.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: Did Vampires Exist Before Jesus?

I always thought vampires came about in the Dark Ages as a metaphor for Jews. Sinister, hook-nosed, pallid creatures who dwell in darkness, suck blood both metaphorically and literally and are repelled by the sign of the cross - am I talking about a vampire or a Jew?

That's crazy, Brother. I always thought they were a metaphor for homosexuals. Sinister, hook-nosed, pallid creatures who dwell in darkness, suck blood metaphorically and literally, and are repelled by the cross - am I talking about a Jew or a homosexual?

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Did Vampires Exist Before Jesus?

Ew! Sounds like Count Orlok from Nosferatu. Often around this time of year, relatives feel entitled to turn up hoping to impose some very dubious standards upon the True Christian home. They bring pagan traditions condemned by God and often seem oblivious to the insults they're hurling onto Jesus. In the spirit of His birthday, and needing to keep them away from family members, I've decided to include the thing which you could screen in your home cinemas. Savage or mild, pagan or heathen, tipsy on gin or completely off their onions, they will feel "at home" with members of the cast rather than spiralling into awkwardness once they glean that you have a personal relationship with The Risen Christ.

This being from the "silent" era means that you could choose any music deemed appropriate, perhaps something to set the scene for after the viewing (you wouldn't need to watch it yourself) when you share The Good News, explaining that their traditions are demonic and described long before Jesus was born just as the diet of blood was described – both equally condemned.

[its_faith]

Re: Did Vampires Exist Before Jesus?

That's crazy, Brother. I always thought they were a metaphor for homosexuals. Sinister, hook-nosed, pallid creatures who dwell in darkness, suck blood metaphorically and literally, and are repelled by the cross - am I talking about a Jew or a homosexual?

Both.