[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Did Mary avoid her marital duties?

No, he doesn't. Some men find their pregnant wives quite sexy. It's just a matter of personal preference.

Are you going to treat us to hourly updates on secular perversion, like the traffic report on the radio?

[Jean Poole]

Re: Did Mary avoid her marital duties?

No, he doesn't. Some men find their pregnant wives quite sexy. It's just a matter of personal preference.

Can you see the similarity? Obviously, for a man to want to have relations with a pregnant woman, he is evidently having fantasies about having relations with a cow. This is called bestiality. This is what the Bible says about bestiality:

Lev 18:23 Neither shalt thou lie with any beast to defile thyself therewith: neither shall any woman stand before a beast to lie down thereto: it is confusion.

The Bible makes it pretty clear that it is not a case of personal preference, Satanic Crotch. It is FORBIDDEN!

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Did Mary avoid her marital duties?

God in His infinite wisdom removes all sexual desire from men whose wives are pregnant . Other men may attain this same blessing from working long hard hours with no days off and abstaining from adequate amounts of food .

No, he doesn't. Some men find their pregnant wives quite sexy. It's just a matter of personal preference.

[The Widow Anna]

Re: Did Mary avoid her marital duties?

If there had been sheets instead of just some straw Mary should most definitely have taken responsibility for the mess of the birth and given them a good scrub herself. That is not something a lady leaves to others.

For all you curious ladies out there, I recommend a squirt of bleach, a squeeze of lemon juice (enough for a nice scent) and a dilution of 1:7 for some squeaky clean and white sheets. Follow that up with a bit of starch and a press, nothing too harsh, your husband does not want to feel like he's getting into bed in a cereal box, and you should be absolutely fine. Over the years I've had time to perfect this! Next time I'll be sure to give bed making instructions too - the hospital corners are what turns slipping between the sheets from plain to perfect!

But really, Mary should have planned further ahead in the first place. Who expects their loving husband to sleep on bits of hay surrounded by filthy bovines?

[Ammiel Habakuk]

Re: Did Mary avoid her marital duties?

I just thought the inn would have set up the stable for them a little; at least lent them some sheets to put over the straw. How else would they be able to charge them very much? Inns are in the business of making money.

But I guess not.

Oh well. I just wanted to bring in some funds for The Cause.

Thank you for your kind replies : )

They weren't anywhere near an inn, you deluded woman. And we do not believe in relics, or anything of the sort, that's for the heathen Catholics to worship. Does your husband know you're posting this nonsense in this Godly Forum?

[Dark Inquisitor]

Re: Did Mary avoid her marital duties?

God in His infinite wisdom removes all sexual desire from men whose wives are pregnant . Other men may attain this same blessing from working long hard hours with no days off and abstaining from adequate amounts of food .

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: Did Mary avoid her marital duties?

I just thought the inn would have set up the stable for them a little; at least lent them some sheets to put over the straw. How else would they be able to charge them very much? Inns are in the business of making money.

But I guess not.

Oh well. I just wanted to bring in some funds for The Cause.

Thank you for your kind replies : )

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Re: Did Mary avoid her marital duties?

Does the Bible mention if Mary and Joseph took the inn's sheets with them when they left, which were surely messed up during the birth?

Don't tell me you don't know the story of the first Christmas! Have you never even seen a Nativity set?



Jesus wasn't born in an inn. He was literally born in a barn.

Luke 2:7 And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.

Pastor Billy-Reuben

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Did Mary avoid her marital duties?

Thank you for taking the time to explain all that, Pastor Reuben + Old Iron. I understand now.

I do have one more question about the Jesus Family. Sometimes when hotel guests break something, they'll take it with them when they check out rather than go through the embarrassment of explaining it to a desk clerk. (You just get charged on your credit card, later.)

Does the Bible mention if Mary and Joseph took the inn's sheets with them when they left, which were surely messed up during the birth? Because think what those relics would be worth NOW!!!

Don't you think we should contact Mary's decendents and see if they're willing to donate those to Landove Baptist Church? Because we could cut them in tiny pieces and sell them on e-bay or something. It could bring in a LOT!

They didn't stay in a room at the inn - they stayed in the stable, where I seriously doubt there were any sheets.

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: Did Mary avoid her marital duties?

Thank you for taking the time to explain all that, Pastor Reuben + Old Iron. I understand now.

I do have one more question about the Jesus Family. Sometimes when hotel guests break something, they'll take it with them when they check out rather than go through the embarrassment of explaining it to a desk clerk. (You just get charged on your credit card, later.)

Does the Bible mention if Mary and Joseph took the inn's sheets with them when they left, which were surely messed up during the birth? Because think what those relics would be worth NOW!!!

Don't you think we should contact Mary's decendents and see if they're willing to donate those to Landove Baptist Church? Because we could cut them in tiny pieces and sell them on e-bay or something. It could bring in a LOT!

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Re: Did Mary avoid her marital duties?

As I recall the story, Mary and Joseph were engaged when Mary got pregnant, and they were married while she was pregnant. If Joseph believed as you seem to, that sex is only for making babies, there would have been no point in him having sex with Mary while she was pregnant.

Well shove an apple in my mouth and roast me on a spit. After 2000+ attempts, you have finally made your first worthwhile post here. Your answer is exactly correct.

Praise God for small miracles.

Pastor Billy-Reuben.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Did Mary avoid her marital duties?

There is a thread about proper submission to a husband over in the Domestic Forum, and how we are not to deny our husbands their marital rights.

Since (the married) Mary was a virgin until the birth of Christ, how did she get around this duty? Or did she?

And if she did, what does that say about Joseph?

It's interesting that Joseph and Mary never had any other children. How long did Mary hold out for, exactly???????

As I recall the story, Mary and Joseph were engaged when Mary got pregnant, and they were married while she was pregnant. If Joseph believed as you seem to, that sex is only for making babies, there would have been no point in him having sex with Mary while she was pregnant.

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: Did Mary avoid her marital duties?

Thank you. I didn't know the Baby Jesus had brothers and sisters!!! Did they attend the crucifixion? Was Joseph still around, or had he left the family?

And was Mary already pregnant when she married? Was she showing? Or did the Visitation happen after?

Because if God impregnated her after her marriage, that means there was no wedding night for Joseph...(ie, she was still a virgin)...and I can't imagine a husband allowing that. Or I guess there could have been a wedding night, and it just didn't "take"...and maybe that's why God stepped in, to help out?

I am very glad that Mary did at last submit to Joseph. Otherwise, she would be a poor role model for us girls.

[Jean Poole]

Re: Did Mary avoid her marital duties?

Why, you are quite wrong, Mistress Cookie. Mary had several more children.



Matthew 13:55 Is not this the carpenter's son? is not his mother called Mary? and his brethren, James, and Joses, and Simon, and Judas?

Mark 6:3 Is not this the carpenter, the son of Mary, the brother of James, and Joses, and of Juda, and Simon? and are not his sisters here with us? And they were offended at him.

So we can see that Jesus had four brothers and at least 2 sisters.

Ah, I see Pastor Isaac was before me.

Mistress Cookie, that teaching is a Catlicker teaching. If you hear them again, close your ears!

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Did Mary avoid her marital duties?

It's interesting that Joseph and Mary never had any other children.

Huh?

Matt. 13:55: Is not this the carpenter's son? is not his mother called Mary? and his brethren, James, and Joses, and Simon, and Judas?

Mark 3:31-2: There came then his brethren and his mother, and, standing without, sent unto him, calling him. And the multitude sat about him, and they said unto him, Behold, thy mother and thy brethren without seek for thee.

As for marital relations between Joseph and Mary, we read this:

Matt. 1:25: And knew her not till she had brought forth her firstborn son: and he called his name JESUS.

Note "till" and "firstborn," not "ever" or "only."