This is a sticky topic.
X
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 14
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 14 template Next
  • #76
    Re: Today in Christ

    In another installment of Today in Christ:

    June 21st, 2000
    As we all know, Europe has been very gay for a long time. Well I have done some research and found that today was the point-of-no-return, so to speak. It was on this day that Scotland, in a decision that would hasten the return of Jesus by decades and damning all of Europe to Hell. Scotland's government, in a 99-17 decision, repealed Section 28, the last piece of legislation that followed Jesus' Word by outlawing homosexuality. Ever since this day, the Devil has made Europe his own vacation lot. The United States may be an easy target for him these days, so he retires to Scotland to ensure that he will have his way.
    Trump 2020: "For Real This Time"

    Comment

    • #77
      Re: Today in Christ

      June 21st 2007

      1. Summer solstice (Northern Hemisphere) and winder solstice (Southern Hemisphere) celebrations
      2. National Aboriginal Day in Canada (starting in 1996)
      3. Midsummer – Neopagan festival – Litha
      4. National Day of Greenland
      5. Fête de la Musique in France, Belgium and Switzerland.
      6. World Humanist Day

      Comment

      • #78
        Re: Today in Christ

        Originally posted by Shallow-izer View Post
        1. Summer solstice (Northern Hemisphere) and winder solstice (Southern Hemisphere) celebrations
        I'm sure rachel will be celebrating this "holiday" by sacrificing untold numbers of innocent human beings.

        Originally posted by Shallow-izer View Post
        2. National Aboriginal Day in Canada (starting in 1996)

        Does anyone care about Canadia? What they do is really no concern of mine, since we can rest assured that they are mocking God one way or another...
        Originally posted by Shallow-izer View Post
        3. Midsummer – Neopagan festival – Litha
        Originally posted by Shallow-izer View Post
        4. National Day of Greenland

        See #3. Greenland is a godless land of queer polar bears.
        Originally posted by Shallow-izer View Post
        5. Fête de la Musique in France, Belgium and Switzerland.

        Something about Fetid music in the fag countries? Honestly, why waste your time looking these things up?
        Originally posted by Shallow-izer View Post
        6. World Humanist Day
        Originally posted by Shallow-izer View Post
        Someone call Lilith! The only good news about this is that I can bag a few extra Witches to get my notch count up
        Trump 2020: "For Real This Time"

        Comment

        • #79
          Re: Today in Christ

          Originally posted by Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. View Post
          In another installment of Today in Christ:

          June 21st, 2000
          As we all know, Europe has been very gay for a long time. Well I have done some research and found that today was the point-of-no-return, so to speak. It was on this day that Scotland, in a decision that would hasten the return of Jesus by decades and damning all of Europe to Hell. Scotland's government, in a 99-17 decision, repealed Section 28, the last piece of legislation that followed Jesus' Word by outlawing homosexuality. Ever since this day, the Devil has made Europe his own vacation lot. The United States may be an easy target for him these days, so he retires to Scotland to ensure that he will have his way.
          Who ever thought it was a good idea to let the Scottish govern themselves anyway? Seriously, a government made up of Scottish people is the sort of wacky idea that makes majority rule in South Africa look positively reasonable.
          O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



          God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

          Comment

          • #80
            Re: Today in Christ

            Well I think what happened was that no one really wanted to try to govern a people who enjoy wearing skirts and eating faggus. I think the decision was made just to let them ruin themselves.
            Trump 2020: "For Real This Time"

            Comment

            • #81
              Re: Today in Christ

              Holidays on this Day

              We do not list heathen ceremonies or histories on this Godly forum. Kindly refrain from imposing your hellish views on us. This is your last warning.
              Last edited by Pastor Ezekiel; 06-23-2007, 02:20 PM. Reason: edited for context

              Comment

              • #82
                Re: Today in Christ

                July 2, 1752: The first English Bible published in America rolls off presses in Boston.

                And don't you know it was a KJV1611 Authorized version, published by Landover Baptist Press.

                Praise JESUS what a glorious day!!
                Who Will Jesus Damn?

                Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                Comment

                • #83
                  Re: Today in Christ

                  Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                  July 2, 1752: The first English Bible published in America rolls off presses in Boston.

                  And don't you know it was a KJV1611 Authorized version, published by Landover Baptist Press.

                  Praise JESUS what a glorious day!!
                  Only over 140 years after it was first published under the great people of Britain, supposed land of Satan. Really shows how much God loves America.
                  Hai guiz wuts goin on in dis internet?

                  Comment

                  • #84
                    Re: Today in Christ

                    July 15, 1099: The First Crusade captures Jerusalem, massacring thousands. "The city was filled with corpses and blood," wrote one chronicler.

                    Praise Jesus! If we can just Stay The Course and continue Mission Accomplished, all of Iraquistan will run with rivers of mudslime blood once again. Glory be to GOD!

                    The steaks are on me after Sunday Services down at Ruth's Chris steak House, boys! Let's drink a toast to those brave crusaders who spent so many years away from home disemboweling and impaling unsaved heathens!
                    Who Will Jesus Damn?

                    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                    Comment

                    • #85
                      Re: Today in Christ

                      July 24, 1567: The Romanist harlot Mary, Queen of Scots, abdicated in favor of her son, who became James VI of Scotland and later James I of England. Thus, the way was paved for the Holy King James Bible. God is good, all the time!
                      This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

                      Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance

                      sigpic

                      Comment

                      • #86
                        Re: Today in Christ

                        August 4, 1792: By order of revolutionaries, all houses of worship close in France.

                        Proving once and for all that Godless communism was invented in France.
                        Who Will Jesus Damn?

                        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                        Comment

                        • #87
                          Re: Today in Christ

                          Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                          August 4, 1792: By order of revolutionaries, all houses of worship close in France.

                          Proving once and for all that Godless communism was invented in France.
                          As the cheese-eating surrender monkeys say in their own diabolical "language": Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose. The more things change, the more the French spit on Jesus.
                          This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

                          Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance

                          sigpic

                          Comment

                          • #88
                            Re: Today in Christ

                            August 5, 1656: Eight Quakers from England arrive in Boston, where True Christians™ of the Massachusetts Bay Colony immediately imprisoned them without trial. They were held in irons until the ships that brought them were ready to take them back to England.
                            Oh those were the days. We knew how to take care of false Christian communists back in the day!
                            Who Will Jesus Damn?

                            Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                            Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                            Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                            Comment

                            • #89
                              Re: Today in Christ

                              August 13, 1587: Members of Sir Walter Raleigh's expedition to Roanoke baptises Manko, the first American Indian convert to Protestantism.

                              You know, my great-grandfather used to regale us with stories handed down about that redskin. It seems that he was quite the cutup around the village. Always thinking he got free pies for agreeing to worship "the Great White Father".

                              I think some kid shot him for target practice finally.
                              Who Will Jesus Damn?

                              Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                              Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                              Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                              Comment

                              • #90
                                Re: Today in Christ

                                August 15, 1945 - Victory over Japan Day
                                It was on this glorious day so many years ago that the Lord Jesus finally moved the Japanese to surrender, as we knew they would, to the vastly superior American Army. After months of getting their skinny, rice-eating, slanty-eyed, God-hating heinies handed to them on a silver platter, we finally snapped their chopsticks and forced them to give up and go back to their rice paddy. Little known fact: it was also on this day that Japan agreed to start acting more American and pursue more Godly goals such as making products that Americans would spend money on. I believe it was on this day that our glorious leader, Pastor Al, was captured on film expressing his extreme joy by kissing his future wife:



                                Praise Jesus and pass the soy sauce!
                                Trump 2020: "For Real This Time"

                                Comment

                                Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 14 template Next
                                Working...
                                X