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  • Satan's Latest Plot: A Virus that Makes People Stupid

    Sometimes secular science stumbles upon a finding that has enormous significance regarding the Spiritual and Eternal Life in Jesus Christ. Yolken et al. published a while ago data about a new virus that makes people stupid! This virus hides in algae, infects the nasal passages of unsuspecting men and makes them dim-witted.

    At first, they didn't know what ATCV-1 was, but a database search revealed its identity as a virus that typically infects a species of green algae found in lakes and rivers.

    Here you can see the virus penetrating potential Christian rostrums.

    Now you don't have to be a genius to comprehend this. Plants are stupid creatures. Thus, their stupidity can easily be transmitted to vegetarians, greens and related groups that oppose the teachings of Jesus Christ and everything that is precious and dear to God. The story goes on:
    What’s more, those infected with the virus performed 10% worse than uninfected people on tests requiring visual processing. They were slower in drawing a line connecting a sequence of numbers randomly placed on a page, for example. And they seemed to have shorter attention spans.
    Now THIS is interesting. It requires perseverance to read the Bible, to Repent, to become one of God's Flock. Those without the intellectual capacity to understand Creation Science or the intricacies of the Gospel are left without. This includes of course also all women but they have the alternative Salvation plan available (1 Timothy 2:15). This virus can cause people to FALL FROM GRACE because they become too stupid to understand the Bible and repent!

    Satan must be behind this. As always, I delved into the matter with rigorous Creation Science. Sources: Matthew 5 and the article by Yolken et al. Additional references were available in the other Chapters of the KJV.
    There may be health risks to workers in the seafood industry or who work around water where they may be exposed to this algal virus. "But we clearly need more studies, including both animal and plant/algal studies."
    Matthew 5: At first glance it seems to offer a way out for those afflicted with this new plague.

    Matthew 5:3 - Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

    Could this mean that the Grace of God compensates the effects of becoming an idiot because of this design by the Devil. Many false Christians probably take this shortcut and ignore the context. Jesus goes on listing the qualities of those who gain a place next to him in Heaven: Forgiveness, generosity, chastity, avoidance of adultery (which undoubtedly contains sodomy) and concludes:

    Matthew 5:48 - Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.

    No. It won't help. It is a stain in the perfection. Without repentance the soul is damned to go into HELL. And being retarded prevents repenting. Case closed. In addition, this means that no more studies are needed. Once the secular researchers of the original study read this essay, they can put future study plans on hold and concentrate on saving their own souls.

    We still need proof to show that this virus is designed by Satan. The secular scientists have provided us with this:
    ...health risks to workers in the seafood industry or who work around water ...
    Lets look at these two items separately. 1. Seafood industries include shellfish and other abominations! God hates these kinds of foods (Leviticus 11:10). As they ignore God's word it is no surprise that they'd be the most susceptible to Satan's whispering!

    Matthew 5:18 - For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled.

    2. Working around water. This usually means public beaches. Fornicating in scant clothing. Harlotry. Semi-naked women available for adultery. Bare-chested men available for sodomy. People who choose this lifestyle also ignore God's Rules (Genesis 2:25). As they ignore God's word it is no surprise that they'd be the most susceptible to Satan's whispering!

    Matthew 5:28 - But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

    The next issue: How to cure this new "virus" (I think it might be a nanobot demon). The answer should be obvious by now to all True Christians™ but I repeat it here for the benefit of the unsaved.

    2 Kings 2:21 - And he went forth unto the spring of the waters, and cast the salt in there, and said, Thus saith the LORD, I have healed these waters; there shall not be from thence any more death or barren land.


    Waters are similar to other creations. They can be healed. It requires prayer and obedience to God. No more, no less.



    Above we can see waters polluted by this virus. Satan rejoices.


    Through prayer and our efforts we can heal our waterways for Jesus and submit all the shellfish that lure unsuspecting men into digesting this new virus contagion. We must do this and not only in one place but everywhere. And when we feel we have done enough we must do it again.

    Matthew 5:41 - And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain.

    Finally. The name of the virus: ATCV-1. Very similar to a word that emerges from the hybridization of AIDS and HIV. Of course, this is no coincidence with Satan.

    We must and can fight this. It is our duty and calling:

    Matthew 5:14 - Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.


    Yours in Christ,

    Elmer
    2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



    PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
    Check out our Research in Creation Science:

  • #2
    Re: Satan's Latest Plot: A Virus that Makes People Stupid

    Considering how the majority of the world rejects the inerrant word of God when it's so obviously laid before their eyes (they'd have to read just one book for it! The science folks try to confuse and overwhelm people by throwing hundreds of books at them, but the Bible clearly represents quality over quantity) - I have a hunch that this virus infects more than just workers in the seafood industry: it may already have gotten most of the world and for a longer time than we might think! I mean, really - read the Bible, pray to God and follow His laws to the letter, it's not a complicated thing, is it? And yet most people seem incapable of doing so... Do correct me if my insights are wrong, of course.

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    • #3
      Re: Satan's Latest Plot: A Virus that Makes People Stupid

      Originally posted by Platinum View Post
      Considering how the majority of the world rejects the inerrant word of God when it's so obviously laid before their eyes (they'd have to read just one book for it! The science folks try to confuse and overwhelm people by throwing hundreds of books at them, but the Bible clearly represents quality over quantity) - I have a hunch that this virus infects more than just workers in the seafood industry: it may already have gotten most of the world and for a longer time than we might think! I mean, really - read the Bible, pray to God and follow His laws to the letter, it's not a complicated thing, is it? And yet most people seem incapable of doing so... Do correct me if my insights are wrong, of course.
      I also have a suspicion that this "stupidity virus" is being harbored beneath the unwashed foreskins of atheists and being transmitted to unsuspecting victims through anal rape. I believe it must incubate and multiply in the rectum until sheer mass forces it from its dank, vile petri dish, contaminating the testes, schlong, and yes, foreskin...and the cycle begins anew. Satan has obviously been busy in his laboratory!

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      • #4
        Re: Satan's Latest Plot: A Virus that Makes People Stupid

        Also, I would assume that women have a natural immunity to the virus, on account of being cursed with original stupidity at the dawn of time. I don't think even the devil would waste his time beating a dead horse...

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        • #5
          Re: Satan's Latest Plot: A Virus that Makes People Stupid

          Originally posted by Witch Hammer View Post
          I also have a suspicion that this "stupidity virus" is being harbored beneath the unwashed foreskins of atheists and being transmitted to unsuspecting victims through anal rape. I believe it must incubate and multiply in the rectum until sheer mass forces it from its dank, vile petri dish, contaminating the testes, schlong, and yes, foreskin...and the cycle begins anew. Satan has obviously been busy in his laboratory!
          Brother Hammer,

          After careful consideration I must agree with you. Of course this all inevitably ends with sodomy, as the rectal lining must be the principal sanctuary of demons nowadays.

          One question remained, however. How would this virus find its way from algae into the moist and alluring location between foreskin and glans? Initially I suspected some vegetarian topical seafood products such as this one.

          This product seduces MEN into rubbing a slippery product on their skin and inevitably causes arousal. At first this was my principal suspect, but... After a brief search, the answer was however crystal clear. It was here in God's Favorite Forum, already explained by a Brother in arms for Jesus. It is nasal sex.
          Rostral-genital contact must allow the passage of this virus from the upper airways into the lower freeway to Satan. Most annoying!

          Of course, also this was predicted by Jesus...

          Psalms 115:6
          They have ears, but they hear not: noses have they, but they smell not:

          Noses used for fornication instead of smelling. Jesus knew this would happen. Stupidity begets stupidity but in the long run the cries of anguish in the furnace of Hell sound the same coming from a stupid sinner or from a Nobel-prize winning sodomite. Jesus wins and we'll be there to share His victory!


          Yours in Christ,

          Elmer
          2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



          PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
          Check out our Research in Creation Science:

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          • #6
            Re: Satan's Latest Plot: A Virus that Makes People Stupid

            Of course, also this was predicted by Jesus...

            Psalms 115:6
            They have ears, but they hear not: noses have they, but they smell not:
            Brother Elmer, not to veer too wildly from the topic, but Christ has just revealed a new perversion to me through the scripture you quoted. Can you imagine anything as disgusting as a turgid, well-greased nose being eased into a filthy, dilated ear-canal that presents itself to the offending proboscis in lewd anticipation? Do perverts really believe that they could hide this abomination behind locked doors in the privacy of their own homes forever?

            Through Christ, all secrets will be revealed!

            Luke 8:17
            "For nothing is secret, that shall not be made manifest; neither any thing hid, that shall not be known and come abroad."

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            • #7
              Re: Satan's Latest Plot: A Virus that Makes People Stupid

              Yes, I am familiar with the Atheism Virus from my days obsessively poring through the occult libraries of the Vatican. It's foul spores took many years to scrub from my hands and genitals. But through Christ's love this was possible.

              I pray that other souls may be transformed through this didactic treatise on spiritual microbiology, before God hands them over to the fires of Perdition once and for all.

              Victory in Him.
              The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

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              • #8
                Re: Satan's Latest Plot: A Virus that Makes People Stupid

                Originally posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
                Yes, I am familiar with the Atheism Virus from my days obsessively poring through the occult libraries of the Vatican. It's foul spores took many years to scrub from my hands and genitals. But through Christ's love this was possible.

                I pray that other souls may be transformed through this didactic treatise on spiritual microbiology, before God hands them over to the fires of Perdition once and for all.

                Victory in Him.


                My Wise Brother Billy: The spirit of GOD is strong with you. I hope you have managed to get rid of all of those spores. Germ X is probably powerless against papist mold; the Blood of Jesus, however, cleanses all, and I know you are washed in the Blood from head to toe. GLORY!
                Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
                “The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

                Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
                Amen and Amen

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