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Flat-Earth goes WOKE! Meet the Gall–Peters projection!
The story so far:
Maps are weird because they are flat things representing a planet, and planets are not flat.
That means that part of the map is going to have to be stretched out and made inaccurate.
Since nobody in their right mind goes to Antarctica or the North Pole, it would make more sense to make those the areas that are inaccurate. That way, important areas like the equator would be undistorted and accurate.
Enter wokesters, who have to find secret jewish plots behind everything. You see, global maps were used by trade ships, which were financed by Jewish bankers.
And what evil scheme did these jews come up with? Well, according to wokesters, with their flawless mind-reading abilities, the jews knew that people are racist towards people whose nations are not big and stretched out.
The obvious answer is to use globes, but it seems that using a globe is colonialist because globes were invented by a white person, (or maybe globes were invented by a non-white person, in which case using globes is cultural appropriation.)
Anyway, because wokesters know that everybody thinks the same way - the exact same way wokesters do - they changed the map so now it distorts EVERYTHING. Meet the Gall–Peters projection:
And by projection, think "psychological projection", because the whole thing only makes sense if you think the exact same way that wokesters do.
So that's exactly what I did:
1. I suddenly don't care about the plight of penguins or polar bears any more. Look at how little land they occupy! Let 'em all go extinct.
2. Ditto with Eskimos. They've had centuries of being over-glorified by maps that exaggerate their territory. You don't get to colonize us any more, eskimos!
3. Wow, look at how much land Africans have! This is inequality! Since every woke person knows that the only way to succeed is by exploiting people, obviously the Africans were Up To Something to be able to afford such a big continent.
4. And because I've learned that they have such a big continent, I suddenly no longer believe that the only way they can become a refugee is to come to the tiny little overcrowded West. You're all real-estate zillionaires, so don't come to me for pity.
5. Huh, I thought the climate was going to be messed up because we don't have enough rainforests anymore, but look at all that rainforest! We can keep chopping that stuff down forever!
6. Now I really, really want Trump to nuke Greenland. Those arrogant pricks, strutting around as if they have their own entire continent, even though in reality they only own a bunch of ice-cubes. Nuke em!
Maps are weird because they are flat things representing a planet, and planets are not flat.
That means that part of the map is going to have to be stretched out and made inaccurate.
Since nobody in their right mind goes to Antarctica or the North Pole, it would make more sense to make those the areas that are inaccurate. That way, important areas like the equator would be undistorted and accurate.
Enter wokesters, who have to find secret jewish plots behind everything. You see, global maps were used by trade ships, which were financed by Jewish bankers.
And what evil scheme did these jews come up with? Well, according to wokesters, with their flawless mind-reading abilities, the jews knew that people are racist towards people whose nations are not big and stretched out.
The obvious answer is to use globes, but it seems that using a globe is colonialist because globes were invented by a white person, (or maybe globes were invented by a non-white person, in which case using globes is cultural appropriation.)
Anyway, because wokesters know that everybody thinks the same way - the exact same way wokesters do - they changed the map so now it distorts EVERYTHING. Meet the Gall–Peters projection:
And by projection, think "psychological projection", because the whole thing only makes sense if you think the exact same way that wokesters do.
So that's exactly what I did:
1. I suddenly don't care about the plight of penguins or polar bears any more. Look at how little land they occupy! Let 'em all go extinct.
2. Ditto with Eskimos. They've had centuries of being over-glorified by maps that exaggerate their territory. You don't get to colonize us any more, eskimos!
3. Wow, look at how much land Africans have! This is inequality! Since every woke person knows that the only way to succeed is by exploiting people, obviously the Africans were Up To Something to be able to afford such a big continent.
4. And because I've learned that they have such a big continent, I suddenly no longer believe that the only way they can become a refugee is to come to the tiny little overcrowded West. You're all real-estate zillionaires, so don't come to me for pity.
5. Huh, I thought the climate was going to be messed up because we don't have enough rainforests anymore, but look at all that rainforest! We can keep chopping that stuff down forever!
6. Now I really, really want Trump to nuke Greenland. Those arrogant pricks, strutting around as if they have their own entire continent, even though in reality they only own a bunch of ice-cubes. Nuke em!
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