Why exactly do negro people steal pies?

[Wide-Open]

Re: Why exactly do negro people steal pies?

Where is Brother Labeau? I haven't seen him in quite a bit.

Rumour has it he's doing a refresher course right now. But hush-hush.

No further comments.

[exMormon]

Re: Why exactly do negro people steal pies?

Where is Brother Labeau? I haven't seen him in quite a bit.

[Wide-Open]

Re: Why exactly do negro people steal pies?

I remember an LBC program to finally get them to do their own pie-baking, as the LOL's got pretty fed up with them.

The program was a complete disaster.

They started stealing ovens, dough, butter, apples, window sills, mittens... horrible.

We had to deprogram them with a special pie-stealing contest.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Why exactly do negro people steal pies?

The truth is this has been going on for years. Back in the good old days, they used to get life for such outrageous behavior. The negro is a born thief, and it loves a good pie.

[Talitha]

Re: Why exactly do negro people steal pies?

This is so racist. When was the last time you ever heard of someone stealing a pie, no matter what race they are?

Only last week had a lovely Cherry Pie cooling by an open window.
I turned around for just a minute and it had vanished.
No white Christian Man would ever do such a thing.

I think It's very racist of those black folks to steal white folk's Pies.

[Forest Spirit]

Re: Why exactly do negro people steal pies?

Why exactly do negro people steal pies? Is it a genetic thing? Is it a curse from God? What is it? I just don't understand why anyone would want to steal pies made by nice, white Christian homemakers. It breaks my heart to think of someone stealing a pie that my girlfriend made for me. That's my pie.

Why do negros feel the need to steal pies?

This is so racist. When was the last time you ever heard of someone stealing a pie, no matter what race they are?

[James Dewitt]

Re: Why exactly do negro people steal pies?

If you steal my PIE you might get a black eye. Hey if you a negro how could anyone tell if you had a black eye?

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Why exactly do negro people steal pies?

I find this really offensive. This is what makes me dislike some aspects of christianity.

I agree it's very offensive that negroes steal pies. Have they no sense of decency? But the ones that do that are not Christian, so don't allow their sordid characters to influence your view of Christianity!

I think that the reason the negro has a propensity to steal (be it pies, bikes, or malt liquor from a 7-11) is that the race never developed the ability to understand basic economic theory. Unlike other races around the world, the negro never developed a market, currency or economics in their society. They don't understand how bartering or trading works, so whenever they want something, they just take it.

Africans lived this way for thousands of years, until the civilized white man came along. Since then, they've had a difficult time adjusting themselves to white civilization, due to the years of conditioning and inferior brain that cannot grasp economic principles.

[JustAPerson]

Re: Why exactly do negro people steal pies?

I find this really offensive. This is what makes me dislike some aspects of christianity.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Why exactly do negro people steal pies?

The propensity of nigras to steal has been known these last 200 years and more:
Encyclopaedia Britannica, 1798
"Vices the most notorious seem to be the portion of this unhappy [negro] race: idleness, treachery, revenge, cruelty, impudence, stealing, lying, profanity, debauchery, nastiness and intemperance, are said to have extinguished the principles of natural law, and to have silenced the reproofs of conscience."

Moving on to the pie issue, we see from the book of Negro Folk Rhymes (1922):
TRAINING THE BOY
WEN I wus a liddle boy,
Jes thirteen inches high,
I useter climb de table legs,
An' steal off cake an' pie.
Altho' I wus a liddle boy,
An' tho' I wusn't high,
My mammy took dat keen switch down,
An' whupped me till I cry.

This song was collected from a nigra who knew it from the 19th century. A yet earlier song tells of the innate desire for pie possessed by all nigras:

CHICKEN IN THE BREAD TRAY
"AUNTIE, will yo' dog bite?"
"No, Chile! No!"
Chicken in de bread tray
A makin' up dough.

"Auntie, will yo' broom hit?"
"Yes, Chile!" Pop!
Chicken in de bread tray;
"Flop! Flop! Flop!"

"Auntie, will yo' oven bake?"
"Yes. Jes fry!"
"What's dat chicken good fer?"
"Pie! Pie! Pie!"

"Auntie, is yo' pie good?"
"Good as you could 'spec'."
Chicken in de bread tray;
"Peck! Peck! Peck!"

The common nigra also sees pie as part of the cycle of life and death; “pie-in-the-sky” one may say:

NEGROES NEVER DIE NIGGER!

Nigger never die!
He gits choked on Chicken pie.
Black face, white shiny eye.
Nigger! Nigger!
Nigger! Nigger never knows!
Mashed nose, an' crooked toes;
Dat's de way de Nigger goes.
Nigger! Nigger!
Nigger I Nigger always sing;
Jump up, cut de Pidgeon's wing;
Whirl, an' give his feet a fling.
Nigger ! Nigger !

My feeling is that stealing pies is simply natural, just as in the white man being a True Christian™ is natural.

[SayvedByTheLord]

Re: Why exactly do negro people steal pies?

Brother Remy has addressed this behavior by the blue gums.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Why exactly do negro people steal pies?

Just the way they are. Same reason they are lazy, stupid, shuffle their feet and can bug out their eyes. LOL, they cannot even hold a gun upright!

Same reason joos are so annoying and catlick preists cannot leave young boys alone.

[exMormon]

Why exactly do negro people steal pies? Is it a genetic thing? Is it a curse from God? What is it? I just don't understand why anyone would want to steal pies made by nice, white Christian homemakers. It breaks my heart to think of someone stealing a pie that my girlfriend made for me. That's my pie.

Why do negros feel the need to steal pies?