Mary was a hermaphrodite?

[Brother Guy Bayard]

I 've been doing some reading and i found some confusing stuff. Perhaps i can be set straight?

According to the Catholic Church, a miracle can only occur after the person has died -- I'm a little confused here. If this is true, then The conception and birth of Jesus was no miracle because Mary was alive when it happened?
And while we speak of Jesus as "virgin born," the actual miracle was not in His birth, but in the conception. The angel said to Joseph, "that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost."

So according to Catholic doctrine, Immaculate conception - not virgin birth - is the miracle,which means God could have chosen any used up old crack whore to be a 'holy baby oven' because virginity wasn't a necessary requirement in order to reproduce the Christ - only a womb - not a hymen - was required. Mary could have been a sexual pincushion for an entire Roman Legion and still been eligible to produce the Messiah. Am I right so far?
BUT - If the Catholics believe that miracles can only occur after a person has died, and Mary was alive for the "immaculate conception", by their own reasoning the conception /virgin birth can't be divine..and if the birth of Jesus is no miracle he can't be the son of God. Correct?
"But virgin births don't occur without divine intervention!", you say.....but I found these articles....

1. Shark Gives "Virgin Birth" in Detroit

A female white spotted bamboo shark at the Belle Isle Aquarium in Detroit surprised zookeepers in July by giving birth to two babies. Why the surprise?

1. Hammerhead Shark Gave "Virgin Birth" in Omaha Zoo

New DNA evidence shows that a baby bonnethead shark born in a Nebraska zoo was the product of "virgin birth," the first time the phenomenon has been ...
news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2007/05/070524-shark-virgin.html
news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2002/09/0925_020925_virginshark.html

1. Shark pup result of 'virgin birth' - life - 23 May 2007 - New ...

A hammerhead shark born to a mother that had not come into contact with a male, is now proved to be the result of asexual reproduction.
www.newscientist.com/article/dn11908-shark-pup-result-of-virgin-birth.html

....and they say to me a number of things.
1. Immaculate conception is not a miracle ergo Jesus is not the son of God,
2.Mary the mother of Jesus is some sort of parthenogenic mammalian reptile, turkey or a hermaphrodite - which means Jesus is also part lizard or turkey
3. Immaculate conception Is a miracle, which means the sharks are lying and have been getting some on the side...or...Christ has returned and is a reincarnated jesus shark. - (3 sharks say they're Jesus - one of them must be wrong...)
3. Mary is lying and wasn't actually a virgin (she is a woman after all so its extremely likely)

"parthenogenesis", a mode of reproduction in which the egg is not fertilized." Parthenogenesis has been documented in many reptiles," . "There are at least five or six species of snakes, and it's been known in salamanders, lizards, and even a breed of turkeys. "A third possibility is that the Belle Isle bamboo shark is a hermaphrodite, harboring both male and female sex organs, and capable of fertilizing its own eggs. "

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Mary was a hermaphrodite?

According to the Catholic Church, a miracle can only occur after the person has died -- I'm a little confused here. If this is true, then The conception and birth of Jesus was no miracle because Mary was alive when it happened?

There's your problem right there. According to the Catlick "Church", it's also okay for grown men to sodomize little boys, to pray to idols of Mary instead of Jesus, to eat a cookie and think it turns into the actual flesh of the Lord, to call all sorts of men "father"...
Young man, the list goes on and on and on. They are trying to confuse you and steal you away from God, especially when you are so close to salvation!
Here are the facts: Miracles are of God. God can do whatever He wants, whenever He wants. When He created the world in six days, who was dead then? Nobody! Yet it was perhaps His greatest miracle!
Now I'm just Mrs. Whitford, so I know my suggestions don't carry the weight of a pastor or any other True Christian(tm) man, but maybe you should consider adding another thirty to sixty minutes to your daily Bible study routine in order to avoid being confused by the papists again.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Mary was a hermaphrodite?

Son, what you are missing here is that the offspring of parthenogenesis are always female because there is the missing male chromosome. This would have meant that Jesus would have been a woman. We know that Jesus was a Man, therefore the Immaculate Conception with the Holy Ghost did take place according to the Bible (KJV1611).

This particular point probably explains the perverse behavior of cathylick priests and their practice of sodomy with young boys. They are so caught up in the Mary worship cult that they think the boys are women.

[Brother Guy Bayard]

Re: Mary was a hermaphrodite?

Sister MM - BrotherWJB - God Bless you for your explanation. I have been hysterical and talking in tongues for approximately 12 hours now and have had to be heavily sedated. Allegedly I was even babbling about turning Boodist - (but you know how women lie.) Thats when my mother picked up my 5kg leather-bound, embossed, brass hinged, lockable,note-margined, red-jesus-word, Illuminated, gilt-edged (guilt edged?) AU$3700.00 King James Version 1611 Bible AND DELIVERED A BLOW OF SUCH FURY TO THE BACK OF MY DEMON POSESSED SKULL THAT THE DEMON INSIDE WAS EXPELLED ON IMPACT! (and an eye also, but its back in place now, thanks for your concern)
The problem here isn't comprehension. It's ignorance. Other peoples to be precise.
I chose to read IGNORANT fallible sources other than the one Godly authoritative source - the KJV1611 - and look what happened. I was plagued with doubts, fears and confusion. If I had stuck to the one true word of God, none of this would have happened.
(I did some more irresponsible reading while 'posessed' and read somewhere about Biblical mistranslations, ie "virgin" being wrongly translated from "any young woman of marrying age" and Isaiah seems to think that the Child itself - not the immaculate conception - is the miracle, which seems to fly in the face of the Immaculate conception/virginity miracle that Catholics covet so dearly. )

"I'm sorry", I hear you say. "All I heard from you was 'blah blah blah I shouldn't have read anything except the KJV1611 and look what happened"
AND YOU'D BE RIGHT.
praise Jesus!

[Brother Guy Bayard]

Re: Mary was a hermaphrodite?

Next time I experience doubts or 'curiosity' (homer-prone Goths take note here) I am just going to sing hymns loudly to drown out any thoughts that could interfere with my untainted uncomplicated unadulterated trans-substantiated love of Jesus.
After me. AND A ONE AND A TWO....
"WHAT A FRIEND WE HAVE IN JESUS , ALL OUR SINS AND GRIEF TO BEAR......"ETC ETC ETC

[Brother Guy Bayard]

Re: Mary was a hermaphrodite?

"When the Revised Standard Version of the Bible was issued in 1952, the words “young woman,” not the word “Virgin, were used for alma in its translation of Isaiah 7:14. This upset the Fundamentalist Christian community, which maintains that alma in Isaiah refers to the mother of Jesus, who conceived miraculously, without cohabitation with a man. These Fundamentalists expressed their vehement opposition to the new translation by holding burnings of the Revised Edition of the Bible."



Its been a long time between drinks brothers. When can I expect the next bible burning?

[Brother Guy Bayard]

Re: Mary was a hermaphrodite?

http://www.middleeast.org/launch/red...gi?num=27&a=22
Its been 4 long years since the last Revised edition Bible burning.
Gods' soldiers are ready - and I have a lot of marshmallows. Wouldn't it be a great day out for the family?

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Mary was a hermaphrodite?

Speaking in tongues like a nasty Pantingcostal? Dear, sweet Jesus, the war for your soul is being hard waged within you! Hopefully when that demon was expelled, it took that Pantingcostal claptrap with it!
Once the war for your soul is won and you are safe in Christ's arms, you should consider coming to Freehold where we have book burnings on quite a frequent basis. Why, it wasn't that long ago that we had a bright, burning bonfire full of the latest Hairy Pothead witchcraft manual!

[Brother Guy Bayard]

Re: Mary was a hermaphrodite?

Speaking in tongues like a nasty Pantingcostal? Dear, sweet Jesus, the war for your soul is being hard waged within you! Hopefully when that demon was expelled, it took that Pantingcostal claptrap with it!
Once the war for your soul is won and you are safe in Christ's arms, you should consider coming to Freehold where we have book burnings on quite a frequent basis. Why, it wasn't that long ago that we had a bright, burning bonfire full of the latest Hairy Pothead witchcraft manual!

Ahum. Yes, Sister MM. Obviously what I mistook for Glossolalia (new word for me) was in fact the demon speaking through me.
I love the idea of a large scale book burning. Perhaps instead of waiting for these books to be released, the printers themselves can be encouraged by the purification of fire not to publish these anti-Jesus works? Stop the rot at its source I say!

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Mary was a hermaphrodite?

This shows why it is so important to be very careful about what you read. The devil has gone through enormous effort to craft secular "knowledge" to lure people away from Christ. That is why just about every aspect of secular "knowledge" is so full of plausible-sounding lies that will cause your faith to waiver. I suggest that you pray without ceasing (I Thess. 5:17), test the spirits (I John 4:1-3), and most importantly:

Prov. 3:5-6: Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

[Brother Guy Bayard]

Re: Mary was a hermaphrodite?

Prov. 3:5-6: Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

forgive my need for clarification here please.
This passage from proverbs says for the layman - God has a plan for you. God therefore decides every outcome - such as the rolling of dice...so gambling is of god?

[Brother V]

Re: Mary was a hermaphrodite?

forgive my need for clarification here please.
This passage from proverbs says for the layman - God has a plan for you. God therefore decides every outcome - such as the rolling of dice...so gambling is of god?

Friend, it's not gambling if you know the outcome.

A fixed horse race isn't gambling.

A fixed card game isn't gambling.

Those are INVESTMENTS.

YIC
V