Ladies and Gentlemen,
As you all know, I am a very busy man, working almost single-handedly to stave off the advances of the sticky finger of evolution into science and fighting the good fight. Unfortunately my job requires me to occasionally enter the sacred temple of all the false gods prevalent in the world today: the classroom. Early this morning I had the misfortune to sit in on a class at one of our Nation's premier institutions of "Learning"... I had prepared myself mightily for this, building up my defenses so as not to be shaken by whatever lies Satan has introduced. Brothers and Sisters, let me tell you that I was shocked and appalled at what I had heard.
Scientists are now introducing the "missing link" theory (
) into Physics! Physics! The study of how God moves all the atoms around! Goodness gracious! This was in a class that evolution had NO place in: Subsurface Sensing and Imaging. Now naturally I assumed that the were searching for Hell beneath the earth and I was intrigued, but this was just too much! The "professor" (who no-doubt got his "degree" from some playground-school like MIT or Stanford and not some actual institute of higher learning) was speaking on looking for a connection between Gravitational Fields (secular-speak for God pushing two planets together) and Electric Fields (when God pulls two magnets together to make spark-things). He claimed that there was a missing link here too, and that "scientists" were hard at work to find this "missing link".
Naturally I immediately began to plead the Blood of the Lamb over these sorry souls sitting in the class who don't even have a tithing plan at Landover, quoting my Bible that I had hidden in my coat to keep the Devil at bay whilst I ran for the door to report this to you.
Now this if both hilarious and frightening at the same time. Hilarious because these so-called "intellectuals" feel that their great-grandaddy monkey somehow or other holds planets together, and sad because we actually allow these people to VOTE?! How do these so called intellectual elites even keep a straight face while saying this? Although I must admit, as soon as I called the professor's bluff and began to plead the Blood of Jesus over the entire class, the professor DID crack a smile, so I suspect he knew the jig was up on his absurdity.
I must speak with a Pastor immediately. I just wanted to share this absurdity with you today, so you don't have to go out and spend God's money on a so-called "education" that doesn't have the Bible as its basis!
As you all know, I am a very busy man, working almost single-handedly to stave off the advances of the sticky finger of evolution into science and fighting the good fight. Unfortunately my job requires me to occasionally enter the sacred temple of all the false gods prevalent in the world today: the classroom. Early this morning I had the misfortune to sit in on a class at one of our Nation's premier institutions of "Learning"... I had prepared myself mightily for this, building up my defenses so as not to be shaken by whatever lies Satan has introduced. Brothers and Sisters, let me tell you that I was shocked and appalled at what I had heard.
Scientists are now introducing the "missing link" theory (

Naturally I immediately began to plead the Blood of the Lamb over these sorry souls sitting in the class who don't even have a tithing plan at Landover, quoting my Bible that I had hidden in my coat to keep the Devil at bay whilst I ran for the door to report this to you.
Now this if both hilarious and frightening at the same time. Hilarious because these so-called "intellectuals" feel that their great-grandaddy monkey somehow or other holds planets together, and sad because we actually allow these people to VOTE?! How do these so called intellectual elites even keep a straight face while saying this? Although I must admit, as soon as I called the professor's bluff and began to plead the Blood of Jesus over the entire class, the professor DID crack a smile, so I suspect he knew the jig was up on his absurdity.
I must speak with a Pastor immediately. I just wanted to share this absurdity with you today, so you don't have to go out and spend God's money on a so-called "education" that doesn't have the Bible as its basis!
Comment