Atheist Sees Image of Big Bang in Slice of Toast

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Atheist Sees Image of Big Bang in Slice of Toast

Huddlesfield, UK | Excitement is growing in this northern England town following news that a local man saw an image of the Big Bang in a piece of toast. Thirty-six year old atheist Donald Chapman was sitting down for breakfast when an unusual toast pattern caught his eye.

"I was just about to spread the butter when I noticed a fairly typical small hole in the bread surrounded by a burnt black ring," Chapman told local newspaper The Huddlesfield Express. "However the direction and splatter patterns of the crumbs, as well as the changing shades emanating outwards from this black hole, were very clearly similar to the chaotic-dynamic non-linear patterns that one would expect following the Big Bang. It's the beginning of the world!" he added excitedly.

Ever since news of the discovery made national headlines, local hoteliers have been overwhelmed by an influx of atheists from all over the country who have flocked to Huddlesfield to catch a glimpse of the scientific relic. "I have always been an atheist and to see my life choices validated on a piece of toast is truly astounding," said one guest at the Huddlesfield Arms Hotel.

To the surprise of many, the U.K. Atheist Association has asked its members not to pay attention to the story despite its potential to inspire less faith. "Given what the religious believe already, this is an easy sell," said one disgruntled activist who said he was going to Huddlesfield anyway, noting that "seeing is not believing."

https://www.thespeciousreport.com

[SUV]

Re: Atheist Sees Image of Big Bang in Slice of Toast

What will the nutty athians see next? Hutchins & Dawkins doin' the Lambada in a slab of Spam?

Oooooh, Spam.....

It's a dirty, sinful business, and I Demand it be stopped immediately!!!

[Eugene Hackwith]

Re: Atheist Sees Image of Big Bang in Slice of Toast

Stupid atheists are grasping at straws, trying to confirm their lack of beliefs with toasted bread!

[handofgod]

Re: Atheist Sees Image of Big Bang in Slice of Toast

Pleas don't insult us. I once say Darwin on a pancake.

[Marshall]

Re: Atheist Sees Image of Big Bang in Slice of Toast

Atheists are all too unintelligent to do anything BUT play with their food and blither endlessly about sciensatanist speculation and heresy. It's like listening to a child describe how an atom bomb works listening to them explain their ravings. Has anyone here actually LISTENED to Dawkins? He comes off like an idiot in the throes of some sort of drug. The man is unhinged and completely insane.

[BigMan]

Re: Atheist Sees Image of Big Bang in Slice of Toast

That hole is signifying how he will fall deep into the pits of Hell!

[Father Thomas Martin]

Re: Atheist Sees Image of Big Bang in Slice of Toast

Hey! For apparitions to appear, there has to be a God.

How do they explain this?

[Sacha-DG]

Re: Atheist Sees Image of Big Bang in Slice of Toast

I didn't think there were any athiests this stupid...
This is even worse than seeing Mary in a slice of toast/tortilla chip or whatever.

[One-eyed Jack]

Re: Atheist Sees Image of Big Bang in Slice of Toast

It's all very easy for an atheist to imagine images of the Big Bang on a bit of burned bread. It proves nothing but that atheists spend waaaay too much time looking at their toast.

Just eat your food, boys. Stop obsessing about atheist mythology.

Catholic idolaters often see miraculous apparitions of one of their gods, the Virgin Mary. Two and a half years ago a worker in a chocolate factory found a piece of chocolate which had "...an amazing likeness to the Virgin Mary standing in prayer. 'It’s absolutely a miracle,' said the discoverer, Jacinto Santacruz, 26, a Roman Catholic." (from feverishthoughts.com)

The Catholic chocolatiers have built a shrine to their newest idol, and have added chocolate to the jug of wine and the soda crackers they consume during the pagan cannibalism ritual they call "communion".

Muslims are forbidden to see likenesses of Allah, but they have seen their pagan god's name written in various unlikely places.

"In June 2007 Uzma Khalid of Cowley, Oxford, sliced a tomato in half and saw the word "Allah" written in Arabic. The tomato later made an appearance at Stanley Road Mosque in Cowley." (From Wickedpedia)

The tomato was kept until it spoiled, and then a small boy hurled it at a passing policeman, striking the bobby on the left shoulder. "Another miracle!" the boy's father exclaimed. "Usually my son has such poor aim he could not hit Fergie's big backside from a distance of two meters. La illaha illala!"

The technical term for these delusional visitations is pareidolia, from the Greek words for "loony" and "pants-wetter".

Obviously the real God would not work trivial tricks with foodstuffs for the amusement of crazy Catholics and mad Muslims. His miracles would instead be mighty works of universal benevolence -- instantaneously converting all terrorist bombs to Gouda cheese, healing innocent children born with congenital defects, and stopping manifestations of horrible evil such as a comeback concert by Britney Spears.

Only a self-absorbed nitwit of a god would use his omnipotence to project his own likeness -- or that of his girlfriend -- onto snacks.

In the case of the big-bang toast, I suspect this miracle had more to do with a big bong than with the origin of the Universe.

~~ OEJ

[Nobar King]

Re: Atheist Sees Image of Big Bang in Slice of Toast

I didn't think there were any athiests this stupid...
This is even worse than seeing Mary in a slice of toast/tortilla chip or whatever.

I've been thinking long and hard on this one, and I think that maybe the athiest just burned his breakfast, and used that as an excuse to poke jokes at the religious.

[Father Thomas Martin]

Re: Atheist Sees Image of Big Bang in Slice of Toast

Watch your mouth, Jack! God chose the Virgin Mary to be the mother of His Son! To disrespect her is to disrespect Him!

[SUV]

Re: Atheist Sees Image of Big Bang in Slice of Toast

The Catholic chocolatiers have built a shrine to their newest idol, and have added chocolate to the jug of wine and the soda crackers they consume during the pagan cannibalism ritual they call "communion".

I suppose their "Saint" would be one Mr Jeffrey Dahmer, who made Ambrosia-brand Chocolate notorious since working in their factory. Sickening!!!

[One-eyed Jack]

Re: Atheist Sees Image of Big Bang in Slice of Toast

Tom Martin: "To disrespect her is to disrespect Him"...

Sounds like you think the Trinity comprises four Beings: the Father, the Son, the Holy Ghost, and Mother Mary.

I thought you Catholic boys were strong against heresies concerning adding or subtracting from the Trinity? Be careful, there, Tom; you may just be hopping into bed with the likes of the Anomeans and Sabellians!

And you know what Catholics historically do with heretics: burn 'em alive. Crackle, crackle, crackle. Not a very nice way to go, but a mode of execution much favored by the Catholic Church during much of its existence.

Now, can we call Mary the wife of God the Father? No, because she was married to Joseph even though the marriage was unconsummated.

So it would be perfectly logical to call her God's girlfriend.

However, in the previous post I was referring to the Catholic god (note the uncapitalized g), which is a false idea and not the same as the real, immutable, and ineffable True Christian God™. You may take my comments as referring only to your pseudo-pagan idolatry, and not to the real God, the real Jesus, or the real Mary.

~~ OEJ

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Atheist Sees Image of Big Bang in Slice of Toast

Hey! For apparitions to appear, there has to be a God.

Hey, Major Tom! For your "church" to appear, there has to be a devil.

Watch your mouth, Jack! God chose the Virgin Mary to be the mother of His Son! To disrespect her is to disrespect Him!

Really?

John 2:3-4: And when they wanted wine, the mother of Jesus saith unto him, They have no wine. Jesus saith unto her, Woman, what have I to do with thee? mine hour is not yet come.

So, according to your Romanist nonsense, Jesus disrespected God. Since Jesus is God, that means that Jesus disrespected Himself. And you bead-counting ring-kissers say that we saved Christians believe silly things.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Atheist Sees Image of Big Bang in Slice of Toast

Hey! For apparitions to appear, there has to be a God.

How do they explain this?

For the world to be created, there has to be a God, but your atheist brethern have never quite managed to get around that one either.